Entire General Knowledge

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The acronyms and abbreviation to be found in the dictionary which are meant to be useful acronyms and abbreviation are mentioned here. The collection of knowledge included here gives you the study on language and communication. This list contains words related to everyfield and it also inclues backronyms. Both the things acronyms and backronyms can therefore be used for various purposes. To find the unprecedented things regarding various field and will give you the knowledge of what stands for what.

Strictly speaking, acronyms are words formed from the abbreviations of others, but as you'll see, many of these acronyms aren't words at all, and even some of the best known acronyms like LASER and RADAR have bent the acronym rules.


'backronyms' ('bacronyms')


Some acronyms, usually amusing and ironic, are formed in reverse, ie., by starting with a word, especially a brand name, treating it as an acronym, and finding words to fit each of the letters, for example the acronyms ACRONYM and YAHOO. The amusing term for these types of acronyms is 'backronyms' (or 'bacronyms'). Bacronym is a portmanteau word (in this case combining the words 'back' and 'acronym'). Backronyms feature strongly in the acronyms created from aviation and airlines and automotive and car make names, and in corporate name backronyms such as DIAGEO. The device is not new, as seen in the old GWR interpretation. Two notable and quite different examples of bacronyms being used to positive effect are ASDA and PIG. Bacronyms are created as hoax explanations for the origins of certain swear words.

Acronyms and Abbreviations

Acronyms, whether true acronyms or not, and abbreviations, add colour, fun and interest to our language, and thereby they act as mnemonics, or memory devices. Many technical and process-related acronyms and abbreviations greatly assist in memory retention and learning.

Many acronyms and abbreviations when used properly can certainly enhance communications, because they act as 'short-hand' and therefore increase the efficiency of communications; in other words, more meaning is conveyed in less time and fewer words.

Many acronyms and abbreviations are also motivational and inspirational for training, because they contain a special theme, and because the acronym or abbreviation itself is a mnemonic device (a memory aid). Some of these acronyms and abbreviations originated as far back as the 1940s (notably the 2nd World War), and a few probably the early 1900s (notably the 1st World War). Many other abbreviations listed here are far more recent. Many older acronyms provide fascinating examples of the development of language and changing cultural attitudes. Latterly similar dark and cynical humour is evidenced in the development of acronyms and abbreviations relating to the field of customer service, especially in the contexts of IT and healthcare, for which an additional healthcare acronyms listing appears below separately, due to its richness and diversity.... Also, increasingly, lifestyle groupings and demographics profiles are providing fertile subject matter for acronyms, and again, a separate listing of lifestyle and demographics acronyms appears below.

When using acronyms and abbreviations for serious and intentionally open communications ensure that definitions and meanings are understood or explained, or the acronym defeats its own purpose. It's advisable that if using acronyms in reports and other important communications, such as instructions, manuals, procedures, and training materials, you should include a glossary of acronyms and abbreviations, which hopefully enables the audience to understand the meanings involved.

Automotive acronyms (actually these are 'backronyms', since they are retrospective constructions), lifestyle/demographics profiles acronyms and healthcare acronyms are listed in separate sections below. Some of these acronyms and 'backronyms' also appear with more details and explanations in the main acronyms listing.


Acronyms and Abbreviations main listing


Acronyms, Abbreviations, Menmonics, Bacronyms for learning and amusement


A3


Any time, Any place, Anywhere. Popular texting abbreviation (ack J Lewis). The expression actually originated from a 1960s/70s Martini TV advert in which the song went: Any time, any place, anywhere, There's a magical world we can share (??), It's the right one, it's the bright one, It's (Thats ?) Martini... Other variations of lyrics following the opening line were used in more recent years (It's a new world, Me and you girl..). Suggestions on a postcard please as to the original words (and ad agency, composer, etc), and later versions. The word Martini in the context of media has now assumed an amusing additional modern meaning, referring to mobile and on-demand communications and media, and is also used as an ironic reference to someone exhibiting particularly flexible or pragmatic tendencies, especially politicians who pander to views and support for personal advantage above ethical considerations.


A2O

Apples To Oranges. Acronym to highlight any inappropriate comparison; a modern shorthand for 'chalk and cheese'.


A2HS


Age, Build, Clothes, Distinguishing marks, Elevation, Face, Gait, Hair, Sex. Acronym used by UK armed forces and services staff for identifying people involved in incidents or crime.


AAA

Alive, Alert, Aggressive. One of very many triple-A acronyms. Somewhat macho but catchy nevertheless, and not a bad rallying call for self or team in a variety of situations (visit to the dentist, disaster de-debriefing with scary CEO, public speaking pep-talk, etc.) Apparently originated in the Seal Cove fishing community on Grand Manan Island in the Bay of Fundy, New Brunswick... (Ack G Myers) And by way of extending the theme:


AAAA

Association Against Acronym Abuse. (Ack P Vallee).


ABC

Always Be Closing. Traditional selling process acronym which emphasises the need to be continually moving the customer towards action and agreement within sales discussions (ack T Rowe). ABC (along with ABC1) also refers to the JICNARS demographics system of social grades classifications, and to the Airway, Breathing, Circulation first-aid reminder of what to check first in a casualty.

ABCD

Above and Beyond the Call of Duty. Whether this acronym originated in the armed services is not clear. These days it is just as applicable to the civilian work environment, and particularly the need to ensure a healthy work-life-balance. A reminder also for all managers and corporations that people who go the extra mile, beyond normal expectations, are to be treasured and suitably rewarded, not exploited. (ack T Rowe)

ACRONYM

Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning. Fine example of the 'backronym' art and very apt for near top of the list. A wonderful talking point for dinner parties, (thanks Ralph Johnston). Additionally and equally impressively: Alphabetically Correct Representation Of Neologically Yclept Magniloquence (thanks B Coates). Here's what the unusual words mean: Neologically (describing a word that has been newly created, from French 'neologisme', meaning a newly created word); Yclept (meaning 'so called', or 'going by the name of', derived from an even older English word, 'gecleopod', the past participle of 'cleopian', meaning 'call', in turn from old Germanic language); Magniloquence (meaning 'the use of grand or powerful language' - from Latin 'magnus', great, and 'loquus', speaking).

ACRONYMS

Absurdly Contrived Representations Of Names Yielding Mass Stupefication. As above.. (Thanks A Brady)

ACORN

A Classification Of Residential Neighbourhoods. Acronym for the CACI Ltd research organization's system of demographics classifications, used for consumer marketing in the UK. More about ACORN and other demographics classifications. In the US, ACORN also stands for the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now, which claims to be the USA's largest community organization representing low-income and moderate-income families, "...working together for social justice and stronger communities..."

ACT

Action Conquers Terror. Straight to the point, very true, no-nonsense acronym (thanks P Myers). The human body and mind are capable of far more than we realise. Fears are truly conquered when we confront them. Action exposes fears and 'can't do' feelings as purely attitudinal. Action looks forward - completely disregarding the past or habit and inertia. Action - to start something new or to overcome an obstacle - is the simplest and surest way to make a change. See also JFDI.

ADDIE

Analysis, Design, Development, Implementation, Evaluation. The process of innovation, any field at all. Deviate from it at your peril. (Ack. Don Clark)

ADIDAS

All Day I Dream About Sex/All Day I Dream About Shoes. Perhaps the best of the wonderful ADIDAS backronyms (Thanks respectively PF and S Morissette). There are more and weirder ones in the ADIDAS entry in corporanyms section. If you have others to share feel free to send them. These backronyms are not a reference to the Adidas company, merely wordplay using the name.

AEOBE

... Overcome/Overtaken By Events? (or maybe ... Or Be Eaten?) It's a mystery. If you know please contact us.This seems to be a US armed forces acronym from WWII. See the pictures, kindly provided by Lorna. The picture is on a wall in a house in Liverpool, left by US troops billeted there in the Second World War. The AEOBE acronym is on the left breast of the soldier aiming the catapult. On the front of the Jeep the acronym SNAFU can be seen above the radiator grille. Thanks Lorna for these lovely pictures, and C Yates and R Reid for the suggestions that the last three letters possibly/probably stand for Overcome By Events/Overtaken By Events. OBE is seemingly used in this way in US Defense and US Defense contracting, referring to plans or situations rendered obsolete for the reason implied. Apparently novelist Tom Clancy has used the term in this context. Alternatively perhaps the fork and spoon are clues? Maybe Attack Enemy Or Be Eaten (ack T Baldridge) or perhaps Always Eat Or Be Eaten (ack P Mead). Who knows?

AEIOU DDD

Apoplexy, Epilepsy, Injury, Opium or other drugs, Uraemia, Dead Drunk and Diabetes. Medical acronym and useful mnemonic for remembering the different possible diagnoses of unconsciousness. (Ack Dr Duffield)

AFLO

Another Flipping Learning Opportunity. A big mistake or onerous task. (Ack JC)

AFOL

All Fine On Leaving. (ODSA) Nurses abbreviation on patient notes.

AFTO

Ask For The Order. The 'psychological imperative' and one of the most important rules of selling, despite which, millions of sales people usually forget it.

AGA

Acute Gravity Attack. (ODSA) In other words, the patient fell over, from Nova Scotia orthopaedics and no doubt used elsewhere. See also PAFO. (Ack KP)

AHOYA

Asshole Of The Year Award. From the consumer electrical equipment repair industry, although widely applicable elsewhere. An amusing acronym which all decent folk can privately enjoy when faced with irrational, threatening, anti-social behaviour and those exhibiting it, be they ignorant customers, bullying bosses, or aggressive next-door-neighbours, etc. (ack PM Christian)

AIDA

Attention, Interest, Desire, Action. If your sales, advertising or any effort designed to motivate others to action doesn't follow this sequence it won't succeed. Also extended version AIDCA - the 'C' is for Commitment or Conviction (on the part of the customer or audience). Also known as the Hierarchy of Effects, but HOE doesn't have quite the same ring as AIDA.

AKA

Also Known As. An remarkable acronym that's now so well established that it's virtually become a word, and certainly requires no reference to the original source words to be immediately understood. Aka is truly up there with the all-time great acronyms like radar, scuba, quango and yuppie.

AKUTA

A Kick Up The Arse/Ass. Motivational method of debatable value and limited use, rarely well timed or utilized (see the Aristotle quote about anger). In any event AKUTA is generally more effective when self-administered.

ALF

Always Listen First. Obviously great for training sessions generally, also counselling, customer service, selling, etc, and relationships overall. (Ack. M Booth)

ALITALIA

Airplane Lands In Turin And Luggage In Ancona. Air travel acronym (strictly speaking a 'backronym' or 'bacronym') for those frustrating lost luggage moments. The metaphor is universal of course, although there would be certain destinations that could substitute and fit perfectly: Turkey, Tangiers, Australia, Alaska, etc. (Ack M Janes) Alternative meaning Always Late In Take-off Always Late In Arrival (Ack Chin). N.B. No offence intended towards Alitalia organization - these terms are generic and for comment on air travel experiences in general. More aviation acronyms are in the airlines acronyms list.

ALO

A Learning Opportunity. Generally something you'd rather not do that someone else has decided will be 'good for you'... (Ack. JC)

AMAT

All Mouth And Trousers. Acronym version of an old English expression. See also BHNC.

AOX3

Alert, Oriented times 3 (person, place, time). Nurses' and doctors shorthand used on patients' notes; this acronym transfers especially well to training sessions, to highlight the characteristics of someone fully alert and aware (and paying attention to the tutor). See also MEGO.

APB

All-Points Bulletin. The classic USA police alert, as featured at least fifty times in every single episode of Hawaii Five-O, Cagney and Lacey, Kojak, Starsky and Hutch....

APE

Attentive, Peripheral, Empathic. The three main types of listening. Empathic listening is the skill of understanding meaning and motive in another's words, a considerably powerful ability.

ARPU

Annualised Revenues Per User. ARPU is a favourite and fundamental financial measure used by the big consumer services corporations, especially the massive global corporations in the broadcast, telephony and internet sectors. ARPU basically represents the average sales or billing value that the corporation is able to extract from each customer in a year. ARPU in the collective and inter-related markets of telephony, entertainment, information, internet connectivity and broadcast is likely to be threatened by the progressive development and availability of free or low-cost technology and content, the growth of which is arguably bound to squeeze the life out of some very large traditional profit-driven corporations now caught between two irresistible market forces: at one end by the free user-based content enabled by the world wide web, and at the other end by free broadband connectivity (and subsequent technologies) enabled by local and national schemes to establish free high-speed big-capacity 'wi-fi' access for everyone, on the basis that such infrastructure is vital for local and national competitiveness. This battle for control of content and internet distribution - now under way - will become one of the defining global issues of the modern age.

ART

Assuming Room Temperature. Paramedic term for the condition of a patient when all hope is gone, ie., dead. Technically only a physician can declare someone dead, so the paramedics use this acronym to get around the protocol, not least when absence of life would be obvious to even a blind gerbil. In this context, 'assuming room temperature' means that since the patient is dead their body is no longer regulating its own temperature and instead is 'assuming the temperature of the ambient'. (Ack T Easton)

ASDA

Age, Site, Depth, Area. This acronym illustrates the immensely useful aspect of the acronym as a teaching and communications device, aside from its value as a branding method. First, ASDA is memorable because it is the name of the UK supermarket chain, now owned by Walmart, but named ASDA in 1965 via the contraction of 'Asquith and Dairies' (not Associated Dairies, as commonly believed). The alternative recent 'bacronym' interpretation is a very clever technical healthcare acronym (ack Paul) used in emergency assessment of burns victims, devised by the Specialist Burns Unit at Whiston Hospital in Merseyside, used by the Merseyside Regional Ambulance service and no doubt elsewhere too. Age = age of patient; Site = where on the body; Depth = depth in mm or superficial/partial thickness/full thickness (redlining of skin/blister/all skin damaged charred); and Area = area of burn, usually given as a percentage of body area according to the ingenious 'rule of nines', a methodology based on proportions, because people are different sizes. The 'rule of nines' divides the body into eleven sections: head, chest, abdomen, upper and lower back, each arm, each thigh and each lower leg. Each section represents 9% of total body area. The balancing 1% is reserved for the genitals, which arguably would constitute the greatest emergency burn of them all. In one acronym we see many different aspects of how we use language and systems to enhance understanding, awareness and procedures. Fascinating.

ASK

Activity, Skills, Knowledge. Super acronym for training and development, especially sales and account management, since these three components are essential for success and productive performance. Arguably the order should be Knowledge, Skills, Activity, as this would be the order of training, but 'SKA' doesn't have quite the same ring. Alternative interpretation especially for roles where activity is reactive rather than proactively motivated, can be Attitude, Skills, Knowledge. (Ack RC)

ASTRO

Always Stating The Really Obvious. Various uses at work and play. Similar to calling a person 'Captain Obvious', which is very amusing as well. See also STBO. (Ack D)

ATNA

All Talk No Action. See also BHNC.

AWOL

Absent Without Leave. Military acronym, which implied a few days in the punishment block for the absconder when apprehended, the expression is now well established in life generally and applied to any missing, lost or wandered-off person or item causing breach of rules or mere inconvenience. An alternative meaning (ack A Gow) of AWOL applies in the healthcare industry as an abbreviation on patients' notes: All Well On Leaving.

AVPU

Alert, Voice, Pain, Unresponsive. First aiders training acronym used in casualty assessment, relating to a victim's level of response: A means Alert; V means responds to Voice; P means responds to Pain; U means Unresponsive, (ack G Chamberlain). AVPU is a descending scale of brain state in which 'alert' is the highest level of conscious control and awareness, down to 'unresponsive', which is effectively unconscious or worse. When a casualty's condition moves down the AVPU scale this logically signifies a deepening affect on the brain. AVPU is a simplification and quick test based on the more complex Glasgow Coma Scale, devised by neurosurgery professors Graham Teasdale and Bryan Jennett of Glasgow University in 1974 (thanks G Wylie). Less conventionally the AVPU acronym might also be used as an interesting and amusing reference point in discussing or illustrating the 'fight or fight' unconscious reaction experienced in highly stressful situations such as public speaking, in which the higher levels or outer layers of the brain are temporarily shut down or over-ridden by the deeper parts of the brain associated with fundamental survival and bodily function.

AWTF

Away With The Fairies. Medical/healthcare acronym from the ODSA stable. No longer politically correct in the clinical arena, this term is used on notes or charts to denote a patient who is in a confused or demented state. Doctors and nurses should use with extreme care, if at all, as it has become commonly known in recent years and relatives tend to get a little miffed. Having said which, the term is perfectly apt in the boardroom or shop floor if referring to senile old directors grimly hanging on to their old fashioned notions, as well as their dead men's shoes. (Ack Richard Beard)

2BC/2

Too Bloody Clever by Half. Polite and reasonably safe alternative to the fruitier 2FC/2 version. A warning for self or others as to the risks of complacency, over-complication, arrogance, pride (coming before a fall), etc.

B2B

Business To Business. Widely used business- and marketing-speak, describing a trading model where a business supplies other businesses. B2C is logially therefore Business To Consumer; B2G is Business To Government, and then it gets really silly: B2E is Business To Everybody; B2A is Business To Anybody; and B2B2C is Business To Business To Consumer.

BA

Bugger All. Alternative interpretation of the famous British Airways initials allegedly devised by staff after pay cuts in 2009.

BAAPS

British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons. This is a real organisation (thanks J Riley) and real acronym, which it uses prominently. BAAPS is based in The Royal College of Surgeons, Lincoln's Inn Fields, London. BAAPS states its aims to be the advancement of education in cosmetic surgery, and also the advancement of its practice 'for the benefit of society'. First pioneered as reconstructive surgery for injured soldiers in the First World War, plastic or cosmetic surgery is now more popularly associated with expensive and occasionally controversial cosmetic alteration of people's bodies, notably women's breasts, and also people's facial features and other unmentionable bodily bits and pieces that some folk wish to alter for one reason or another. This is not to say there are no vital and wholly worthy applications of the science; there are of course. Amusingly the BAAPS 2009 website says that the Association has 'ear marked' funding for half the costs of the Aesthetic tutor based at the Royal College of Surgeons of England. Whether this pun and the bigger one involving the acronym name are intentional we can only guess. I was going to resist the temptation to tell the one about the plastic surgeon who sat down in front of the fire and melted, but I didn't.

BANANA

Built Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone. Partner acronym and ideal next stage to NIMBY. (Ack D Bodycombe)

BANJO

Bang Another Nuisance Job Out. Sister acronym to JFDI. For those irksome tasks that won't go away, no matter how long you leave them at the bottom of the in-tray. (Ack. Julie Bramhall)

BASIC

Beginners All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code. Acronym name for the early computer programming language. Makes a good quiz question. (Ack R Leviton) See also COBOL. Additionally and alternatively (thanks T Bastock) BASIC has in past times been amusingly interpreted by IT technicians and to mean Bugger-All Sense In Computing.

BBSS or B2S2

Big Boobs, See Soon. Appalling and very scary doctors' notes shorthand acronym. See the even more unsettling TUBE. (Ack JW)

BDU

Brain Dead User. Covert IT technical support staff acronym to describe a human failing instead of equipment or software fault. When you next hear reference to a BDU error, ask for an explanation... (Ack NM) See also ID10T, PEBCAK and PICNIC.

BEER

Behaviour, Effect, Expectation, Results. The headings by which to assess performance of anything, particularly a new initiative. A great discipline when working with a team or delegating another to conduct a review, when it's important to keep the review focused. (Ack. Don Clark)

BENDWIMP

Beliefs, Evidence, Needs, Desires, Wounds, Interests, Mentors, Proud of. A model, typically used as a table or template or matrix for identifying motivations and issues of stakeholders within a project plan. This has the look of something that could be protected intellectual property so I'd urge caution if you intend to exploit it outsode of a passing reference. The BENDWIMP acronym is apparently used by Tony Robbins, who seems also to be the originator. (My thanks to Steve Buonaugurio, who emailed to suggest it was first coined by Tony Robbins. Robbin's use of BENDWIMP is also confirmed by Robert Buttrick, who emailed me to confirm it featured on a Robbins seminar handout.)

BFI

Brute Force and Ignorance. An expression found in everyday language since the early 1900s, meaning a heavy handed unrefined solution to a problem (especially fixing something - like bashing an electrical appliance to get it working again). In more recent times BFI (and variant BFMI - Brute Force and Massive Ignorance) is aptly applied also to certain areas of design (for example software or computing systems) in which previous proven effective methods are ignored, resulting in a new but clumsy and unsuccessful outcome. Similar application of the BFI expression can be made to strategic thinking - notably in politics and business - where arrogant leaders, driven by subjective idealism, religious justification, ego, personal gain, etc., wilfully force through disastrous campaigns or changes, rather than using the lessons of history and real intelligence to help formulate proper sensible ideas. (Thanks E Key)

BHAG

Big Hairy-Arsed Goal/Big Hairy-Assed Goal. The polite version 'Big Hairy Audacious Goal' doesn't have quite the same ring to it (no pun intended). (Ack M Cook) Provides an additional interpretation (and emphasises the WIIFM motivational theory) of the word 'bag' when used to refer to someone's area of interest or expertise, for example, when turning down an offer or opportunity with the response, "Not my Bhag I'm afraid...."

BHNC

Big Hat No Cattle. What a great expression. The abbreviation is all the more amusing because it looks like some kind of highly official certificate for the construction or maritime industry. See also AMAT and FCNK.

BIAT

Boss Is A Twit/Twerp/Twat etc. No nonsense here... one of the more direct modern workplace acronyms. (Ack R Biggs)

BID

Break It Down. When training anything to anybody never teach the whole thing all at once. Break the skill or process down to digestible parts. This will avoid destroying confidence, and enable gradual progress to the point that the whole thing can be practiced.

BITCH

Babe In Total Control of Herself. Supreme interpretation or response for the typical insulting or envious use of the term. A small yet powerful example of redefining a negative into a positive. Finding the good angle - an essential instrument of success. (Thanks A MacGowan)

BLACPU

Back Later After Christmas Piss-up. Seasonal acronym for when work and customers must necessarily fit in around the festivities and holidays.

BLT

Base-Line Test. More boring and less tasty alternative to the more common usage - Bacon Lettuce and Tomato (sandwich). (Ack Don Clark)

BMT

Before My Time. If you are a new broom trying to sweep clean, this is a useful response to the 'we've always done it that way' school of thought. In other words, 'that was then and this is now'. (Ack M Paretski)

BMW

Bitch, Moan and Whine/Whinge. Behaviour that can be exhibited by a group when stressed, demotivated or unhappy with their situation. Also a common subject area in meetings where the purpose and facilitation perhaps requires a more a positive focus or perspective. (Ack Denise) If you are a manager or team leader and ever find yourself having to handle a BMW session, give the group encouragement, responsibility and suitable freedom to identify and pursue constructive response, change and improvement. Focus on positive response rather than blame. Here are a couple of helpful quotes in this connection: "You have a choice whether to be part of the steam roller or part of the road.." (unknown) and "If you're not part of the solution you must be part of the problem.." (the commonly paraphrased version of the original quote: "What we're saying today is that you're either part of the solution, or you're part of the problem.." by Eldridge Cleaver 1935-98, founder member and information minister of the Black Panthers, American political activist group, in a speech in 1968). More relevant motivational quotes are on the quotes page. BMW is also interpreted in some police circles (ack P&J) as Break My Windows, being a reflection of the car make's tendency to attract envious attack, either through envy or because the mark is a favourite among gangsters who attract aggressive attentions. Additionally (ack Ed P) BMW is interpreted to form other ironic meanings such as the somewhat offensive Built by Migrant Workers; the irresitibly smile-inducing Big-up My Willy, and probably funniest of all to the folk who particularly resent the car brand and what they think it stands for: Bought Mainly by Wankers. There are some other automotive-related interpretations of BMW in the automotive aconyms list, interestingly including (ack G Boyle) Bersten Mal Wieder, which is apparently used by German folk, and means 'Bust Again'.

BOAC

Better On A Camel. Younger viewers perhaps will not know the old BOAC airline, which officially stood for British Overseas Airways Corporation. BOAC was the British state airline from 1939-74, after which it merged with BEA (British European Airways) to become British Airways. (ack ET) More aviation acronyms are in the airlines acronyms list below.

BOB

Battery Operated Boyfriend. Amusing pet name for a vibrator, and perhaps the cleverest and funniest BOB bacronym. Unrelated to this, BOB also stands for a couple of common expressions which sometimes find their way into business-speak: Bend Over Backwards (describing a challenging task in testing circumstances), and Best Of Breed (the leading example within a certain category, notably technical solutions or products).

BOBFOC

Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch. Nightclub and dating vernacular, and not gender specific. (Ack JHB)

BOBO

Burnt Out But Opulent. Various applications, including references to property and people, the image is one of exhausted or useless wealth or luxury. (Thanks GJ)

BOCCA

Belief, Optimism, Courage, Conviction, Action. For the process of change. (Ack M Cook)

BODMAS

Brackets, Order (means power, e.g. power of two shown as 2), Divide, Multiply, Add, Subtract. BODMAS (thanks J McColl) provides the sequence for working out and constructing mathematical equations and formulas ('formulae' to be precise) containing more than one calculation. This methodology is commonly referred to as the order of mathematical 'operations'. For example does 2 x 5 + 3 = 13 or 16? BODMAS tells us to multiply before adding, so the answer is 13. Or the formula could be shown with brackets to give clearer indication, for example (2 x 5) + 3 = 13, or 2 x (5 + 3) = 16. In those two examples we calculate the brackets first. Remember that the word 'Order' in BODMAS means power, as in 102 means 10 to the power of two (i.e., 10 x 10, or 10 squared). Thus BODMAS helps both to construct and work out a formula such as (3 + 4)2 + (6 ÷ 2)3 = 76. A more complex example might be 25 + 33 ÷ 11 x (27 ÷ 9)2 = what? and where on earth do you start? BODMAS instructs us to work it out in the sequence below. BODMAS is therefore very useful for non-mathematical folk when trying to construct complex formulas (formulae) for spreadsheet cells. I hasten to add (no pun intended) that I am not a mathematician and I welcome suggestions for improving this item. Incidentally the final rule - work left to right - is not covered by BODMAS, but extending the acronym to BODMAWLTR somewhat spoils the effect



BOGOFF

Buy One Get One For Free. Marketingspeak, but also great for emphasising the need for creative thinking to achieve cost-effective, high perceived value promotional selling.

BOHICA

Bend Over, Here It Comes Again. A fine motto for all who suffer under incompetent management. If you're a Theory-X manager (see Douglas McGregor X-Y Theory), your staff will regularly use this in your honour. For a free BOHICA colour poster see the free businessballs posters page. And if you are a CEO and you begin to see a few BOHICA posters appearing around the place, then perhaps start asking yourself some questions about your organisational culture and management style.. (thanks to Ralph Johnston for suggesting this acronym.)

BOHOF

Back Of Hand On Forehead. For those BOHOF moments.

BOMFOG

Brotherhood Of Man (under the) Fatherhood Of God. Paternalistic - and thoroughly patronising - expression of traditional values still held by many, including some who lead us. Accepting modern politically correct adaptations, BOMFOG attitudes typically sit snugly alongside the marginalisation of women and all other historically brow-beaten groups. Nowadays more importantly, BOMFOG thinking undermines humankind's independence and development. Nigel Rees, the commentator and language expert refers to BOMFOG as an acronym for a pompous meaningless generality. This interpretation - and the wider implications of BOMFOG - have a very relevant modern resonance with a certain arrogant deluded leadership style (akin to Theory Y, but altogether more deeply insidious) that we often see in the western world, which seeks to suppress and control all good and honest folk - people like you and me, capable of mature independent thoughts and actions of far greater purity and truth than those exhibited by our leaders, supported incidentally by much of our media. Leadership - and government, and any organized system - should be a force for genuine individual aspiration and emotional maturity. Regrettably however many sorts of leadership - especially of significant scale - eventually degenerate into control, manipulation, sham, and BOMFOG principles. By the way the term BOMFOG is linked most famously with certain very grand quotes attributed to the Rockerfellers (Nelson and John D) around the mid 1900s, generally pronouncing how a new world can be established, based on their own (superior, western, 'enlightened') view of life, and the assumption that holding such a view somehow includes the right to impose it on others. Sounds familiar?...

BOOSTER

Balanced, Observed, Objective, Specific, Timely, Enhancing, Relevant. Useful acronym for coaching and giving feedback to people. If anyone knows the origins please tell me. (Ack C Lloyd)

BOSCARDET

Background, Objectives, Scope, Constraints, Assumptions, Reporting, Dependencies, Estimates, Timescales. Very useful acronym for inception of projects, committees, investigations (inquiries), studies, reports, etc, where purpose, parameters and ground-rules etc., have to be established. It was/is used (apparently originally by Hoskyns, who later became Cap Gemini) as a reminder of the headings for a terms of reference document. (Ack J O'Connor)

BPO

Business Process Outsourcing. An acronym from recent times, covering a multitude of activities that are commonly outsourced today, for example, call centre and customer services, IT, HR and training, telemarketing, recruitment, health and safety, quality assurance and accreditation, manufacturing, logistics, sales and promotion, R&D, and pretty well anything else that a corporation might have considered a core function before outsourcing came along. I'm wondering when the first example of an outsourced board of directors will be seen....

BRAN

Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Nothing. Decision-making aid, applicable and useful for all sorts of situations. What are the benefits and risks from a particular course of action or option or default? What are the alternatives (also considering their benefits and risks)? And finally always remember that there is the option to do nothing, which on occasions can be the best thing. (Ack A Jones)

BRIC

Brazil, Russia, India, China. This increasingly visible acronym emphasises the growing significance of the emerging markets, and the fact that the world is changing, whether the traditionally dominant (and patronising and arrogant) nations like it or not. It will not be long before the old economies start to find manufacturing and low-skilled jobs returning, for the same reasons they were once moved away.

BSA

Bloody Sore Arse/Ass. The BSA motorbike was not famed for its comfortable ride... Of course the usage is not restricted to motorbiking. Apparently the expression can be heard in the Dambusters film in a conversation between pilot and co-pilot after a particularly long flight, illustrating the expression's succinct and flexible quality. (Ack S Adam)

BTP

British Transport Police. More amusingly the acronym allegedly takes on an alternative meaning among certain transport staff who translate instead to mean Be There Presently (or Possibly or Potentially) when enquiry demand from customers exceeds the staff resource that is available to respond. (Ack AB)

BTW

By The Way. One of the most commonly used abbreviations today, meaning 'incidentally' or 'in passing', and, BTW, originally meaning 'by the way of a secondary subject or matter', which was earlier shortened to 'by the bye', which has now almost passed out of use. 'By the way' is referenced in 1870s Brewer, so it's not a recent expresssion.

BUFFS

Buck Up For Flips Sake. Polite version of motivational expression used in the Royal Navy. The language might be crude, but the sentiment is a positive one (ack S Smyth). See also FIDO and SUMO.

BUGGER

Best Universal Grit, Grime and Effluent Remover. A more polite alternative to the x-rated 'Finest Universal Cleaner Known' version below. Similar usage, for example, "..If Omo don't whiten it and Brasso don't brighten it, then BUUGGER it.." (Ack A Reeley)

BUMFFPICHH

Brakes, Undercarriage, Mixture, Fuel, Flaps, Pitch, Instruments, Carb heat, Hatches, Harnesses. Pre-landing checks system popular in private pilot licence training. Sometimes extended to BUMFFPICHHL and BUMFFPICHHLC to include Landing light and Clearance.

BUNDY

But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet. Nurses' and doctors receptionists' shorthand, but has many other applications elsewhere. I am informed that an extended version: TF-BUNDY (where the TF stands for 'Totally Fecked') is in routine use in at least one region of the UK. A further example of how dark humour is used to counter the darker aspects of human experience. (Ack DW)

BURMA

Be Undressed and Ready My Angel. Armed forces acronym code used typically on the backs of envelopes containing letters to sweethearts at home, as other examples NORWICH, SWALK, HOLLAND, EGYPT, CHIP, etc. (Thanks pointing out this glaring omission BC.) I am additionally informed (thanks A Sanderson) of the option to augment BURMA with SIAM.

BURP

Bankrupt Unemployed Rejected Person. Never use this, just try to be kind and understanding. See Maslow.

BVA

Breathing Valuable Air. (ODSA) Apparently used in Los Angeles by nurses as a comment about less deserving patients. Amusing and highly efficient, and transferable to a wide variety of situations. (Ack KT)

BWS

Beached Whale Syndrome. (ODSA) Nurses and doctors shorthand acronym.

BYOB

Bring Your Own Booze/Bottle. Widely used acronym used by party hosts and operators of unlicensed restaurants, instructing or requesting guests to bring drink, rather than expect it to be provided or available for purchase at the venue. There are other variations, for example, Bring Your Own Beef (for barbeques), Bring Your Own Bagels (gatherings of Jewish folk, or anyone really who likes bagels), and Bring Your Own Bag(s) (for shops keen to reduce use of free carrier bags). The Australian version is commonly altered to BYOG, Bring Your Own Grog. It has been suggested that Bring Your Own Basket(s) (for picnics) was an older version of the term although this seems not to be substantiated, and frankly I doubt it will be because the notion is a little bit daft. (Thanks P Bruton)

CADET

Can't Add, Doesn't Even Try. Assessment acronym for the numerically and motivationally challenged.

CAP

Cover All Possibilities. Versatile training and planning acronym. A more polite mnemonic than the P6 expression. (Thanks L Woodhouse).

CAPTCHA

Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart. You will probably have used a captcha without realising that it has this strange name, or that it has a name at all. A captcha is the distorted code you copy and type into a website form. The code is unique and random and distorted so that computers (hopefully) cannot read and re-use it, which guards websites against mischievous or criminal automated attack. However, the speedy development of malevolent technology used by hackers and computer criminals (you could call it 'captcha catchup'..) means that the captcha designers must stay ahead of the bad guys, to keep captcha systems impregnable to automated computer violation. Incidentally when a captcha system is breached it enables what is known as a 'denial of service attack' (DoS attack), whereby a website or multi-user computer system is brought down by computer-automated enormous and unmanageable volumes of requests or actions, occasionally for the purposes of blackmailing the site operators, but often for reasons unrelated to monetary gain. The captcha is not the only angle of DoS attack, but the captcha does represent perhaps the earliest strategic battleground in the struggle to protect the web. Captcha is one of the most interesting and convoluted acronyms ever devised, seemingly by Luis von Ahn, Manuel Blum, Nicholas Hopper and John Langford in 2000. The acronym reflects its technical meaning and origins, and also reflects its purpose, which while primarily acting as a security device, also enables the 'capture' of data. The Turing test element refers to the exceptional English mathematician and computer scientist Alan Turing and his theory and test work, first published in 1950, dealing with artificial intelligence and comparisons between human and computer 'thinking' capabilities. Alan Turing (1912-54) was a fascinating character in his own right - regarded as a founder of computer science, he was part of the famous and pivotal codebreaking team at Bletchley Park in the Second World War, and subsequently went on to pioneer the development of early computers and artificial intelligence. Shamefully his country later saw fit to prosecute and convict him for being a homosexual, following which he committed suicide in 1954, aged forty-one. Today Britain is very keen to patronise and impose our holier than thou ideas on the developing world. As with any situation where one seeks influence and change, perhaps a little more humility and awareness of our own past (and ongoing) failings would be more constructive.

CARAT

Counselling, Advice, Referral, Assessment and Throughcare. Acronym used in HM Prison Service (of the UK) referring to prison drug services and the programmes therein. The term (sometimes understandably mistaken to be CARROT) also extends to the assistance and workers involved in the delivery of prisoner drug abuse treatment and rehabilitation. The acronym does not signify a sequential process, but instead the elements contained within it. The actual sequence would typically place the Assessment element ahead of Advice and Referral, but the resulting CAART was presumably not memorable enough, or perhaps too close to the slang term 'cart', meaning prison or gallows, derived from the the late 1500s when horse-drawn carts were used for prisoner transport, and which is the origin of the modern expression 'in the cart' meaning to be in trouble or difficulty. The element called Throughcare might alternatively be represented as Aftercare (after release). We must assume that Throughcare was preferred because devising a useful mnemonic with three A's, a C and and R would have been impossible. There is an interesting lesson in this, aside from illustrating the elements of a rehabilitation process, namely that a good acronym should be memorable and distinct in its abbreviated and full form, and unfortunately CARAT is not, despite the very worthy aims and activities which underpin it.

CASH

Computer Assisted Self-Help. An acronym for the modern age. Computer-based methods for self-improvement, even therapy, are becoming increasingly viable, effective and common. Actually, and logically, Businessballs is a Computer Assisted Self-Help website, despite its limited functionality. Computer Assisted Self-Help can be very effective with or without the support of a real person, and we should expect to see significant development and availability of CASH products and services, offered via data storage devices and online through websites and intranets, etc. The additional ongoing development of artificial intelligence and its incorporation within computer-based applications will ensure that CASH websites and services become progressively sophisticated and widespread, across many different fields, from stress-management to life-change, marriage guidance to addictions counselling, and just about any other attitudinal or behavioural change you can imagine. (With acknowledgements to Steve Cottrell.)

CBI

Completely Bloody Ignorant. 'Backronym' apparently popularised by some Civil Service staff in response to remarks by Digby Jones (as Director General of the Confederation of British Industry) about Civil Service (public sector) pay and pensions. (Ack N Spargo)

CHAOS

Chief Has Arrived On Scene. From the Fire Rescue Service in Georgia US, and no doubt used elsewhere too. If not then it should be. For interfering bosses everywhere. (Ack J Attison)

CHAV

Council Housed And Violent. Note this is not the origin of the word chav, it's a modern mischievous 'bacronym' based on the chav slang slang word for a vulgar and/or anti-social person (male or female). The bacronym meaning is entirely made-up, but reflects a certain view in society of the description. See the likely actual word origins of chav. See also TPT for what is arguably the US equivalent.



CHINA

Chick Hunting In North Africa. Naval acronym, suitably toned down because the original meaning is too rich for this page. Possibly the most outrageous acronym in this listing. (Ack S Dancer)

CHIP

Come Home I'm Pregnant. Another acronym gem from the 2nd World War, and potentially applicable today for husbands on prolonged residential training courses, drilling rigs and overseas work assignments - see also ITALY, HOLLAND, SWALK, BURMA and NORWICH, etc. (Thanks Sandy Fox)

CLAMPS

Challenge, Location, Advancement, Money, Pride (or Prestige), Security. Employment and recruitment industry acronym: the six acceptable reasons for leaving your job if asked why in a job interview, cited by MJ Yate (interview guru and author). See the job interviews questions and answers page.

CLM

Career Limiting Move. A reminder to think twice before embarking on any action that has an obvious whiff of disaster about it. (Ack R Gesling and S Phillips)

CNA

Cleaning Nasty Arses/Asses. (ODSA) Alternative 'backronym' intepretation instead of usual meaning, which is Certified Nurses Assistant, whose duties typically extend to feeding, changing linens, bathing, shaving, etc., and whose wages commonly do not far exceed minimum wage. (Ack Nick H)

COBOL

COmmon Business Orientated Language. Acronym-derived name for the early computer language. (Ack RL) See also BASIC.

CPFR, CPFDR

Collaborative Planning, Forecasting and Replenishment. Relatively modern supply chain management term, sometimes more fully expressed as CPFDR (Collaborative Planning, Forecasting Demand and Replenishment). Alternatively and less likely: Continuance Policy - Domestic Relations Division (related to legal process in Philadelphia County USA). Or it's also a US Engineering qualification, or a microbiological term for a Mitochondrial-type Ferredoxin Oxidoreductase, when it would be shown as CpFdR.

CPS

Criminal Protection Society. Sarcastic alternative meaning to the official Crown Prosecution Service, the government body responsible for bringing criminal prosecutions on behalf of the state, (thanks J Heeley). CPS stands for many more relatively unexciting terms, notably in business Cost Per Sale, and in computing Cycles/Characters Per Second.

CPT, CPI and CPC

Cost Per Thousand, Cost Per Inquiry and Cost Per Conversion. Advertising terms and crucial measures of advertising and selling performance. CPT refers to the cost of reaching each thousand people of the target audience with the advertising message. CPI is the cost of each inquiry received, ie total advertising cost divided by the number of inquiries received. CPC is the total cost of each converted sale. Lowest CPT doesn't necessarily produce the lowest CPI, neither CPC. Lowest CPI doesn't necessarily produce lowest CPC. Conversion ratios or percentages between CPT, CPI and CPC are what count.

CRAFT

Can't Remember A Flipping Thing. Polite version. This acronym has various uses: for example Monday morning after Glastonbury or the Prague stag/hen weekend; those 'Senior' moments experienced by folk of advancing years. Or a tedious training course or meeting, or one of those awful 'pep up the workers' roadshow presentations by the new board of directors. (Ack L Speden, R Dale)

CRITWATNF

Currently Residing In The Where Are They Now File. The full expression perhaps originated, certainly features and achieved prominence in Rob Reiner's 1984 classic rock band spoof masterpiece movie This is Spinal Tap. A radio DJ refers to the band in this way. It's not the most easy to pronounce acronym, but is a fine example of the genre nevertheless. The term is widely applicable for all ideas, fashions, trends, personalities, must-haves, etc., which were once actually or hoped to be significant, but are now lost, hidden or conveniently forgotten. Use it to illustrate the fleeting nature of success, the whimsical nature of swarming humankind, or the fact, simply, that every dog has its day. What can seem in people's lives utterly crucial today, will almost certainly be insignificant given a little time. (Thanks P Smith for suggesting it.) See the CRITWATNF game

CRS

Can't Remember Shit/Stuff. (Thanks T White.) Alternatively Chinese Restaurant Syndrome, for that too-much-monosodium-glutamate-feeling. Perhaps the two feelings are related in some way.

CSN

Computer Says No. Needs no explanation.

CSR

Corporate Social Responsibility. A central aspect of capability and process within all all good organizations, and one of several related concepts within the 'ethical organisations' philosophy.

CT

Cerca Trova. Latin for 'Seek and and you shall find'. Highly civilised and academic alternative to GAAFOFY, and WIOFYFS.

CTD

Circling the Drain. Healthcare acronym. Technically and originally Close To Death. Transferable to a wide variety of lost causes. (Ack L Russell)

C**T

Computer User Non-Technical. Outrageous of course. Apparently from the IT services community, see also DISFOB and PEBCAK. Alternatively, Can't Understand New Technology, or Can't Utilise Normal Thinking. (Ack JB and CL)

CUOA

Compulsive Use Of Acronyms. Not guilty....... There is the true story of the meeting that took place in a particular government office to discuss the effects of EMU. Some considerable time into the meeting it was discovered that half of the participants thought they were there to discuss the European Monetary Union, while the other half were thinking about Environmental Monitoring and Utilisation. (With thanks to Kevin Thomas.)

DAGMAR

Defining Advertising Goals for Measured Advertising Results. The principle that the effectiveness of advertising can only be measured if the aims of the advertising are clearly specified before it takes place.

DELTA

Doesn't Ever Leave The Airport. Sardonic reverse acronym at the Delta airline's expense. I'm sure they are every bit as punctual as all the other airlines. (Ack M Navaroli) See several other interpretations of the DELTA acronym in the airlines and aviation backronyms list.

DIAGEO

Don't Imagine Any Great Employment Opportunities. Not true of course... See the full entry in the corporation backronyms ('corporanyms') list. (Thanks JV for correction.)

DIARRHOEA

Dash In A Real Rush, Hurry Or Else Accident. A daft bacronym to remember how to spell one of the most difficult-to-spell words in the English language. The American spelling is diarrhea, which is only marginally easier to remember. The word is very old indeed, from the ancient Greek equivalent diarrhoia, and diarrhein, meaning to flow through, from the Greek words dia (through) and rhein (flow), which incidentally is from the earliest European language roots from which related words like river, run and (the German river) Rhine are ultimately derived. This highly memorable memory device is a fine example of the technique of using bacronym constructions to remember difficult words.

DIF (analysis)

Difficulty, Importance, Frequency. DIF Analysis is a method of assessing performance, prioritising training needs and planning training, based on three perspectives: Difficulty, Importance, and Frequency. The system can be used in different ways, commonly entailing a flow diagram and process of assessing (scoring) each activity according to the three elements, Difficulty, Importance, and Frequency, in that sequence. At a simple level, an activity that scores low on all three scales is obviously low priority; whereas an activity that scores high on all three scales is a high priority. Weighting (significance of each factor relative to the job purpose/aims) is required in order to optimise the usefulness and relevance of the system, especially if applied to a group or organization. Quicker simpler alternatives of prioritising training are the Essential/Desirable (one or the other) grading of activities or job competencies, whereby essential skills take priority over desirable ones; or the use of a matrix of high/low task importance and high/low skill capability, to identify priority training on the basis that there is a high need (low skill capability) in an important task or competency. DIF Analysis has roots in military training, where traditionally training and development tended to be oriented according to task effectiveness and organizational efficiency, rather than driven by individual personal development needs.

DIKWIAD?

Do I Know What I Am Doing? Useful reminder to check readiness before starting anything which might cause problems if under-prepared. See also IKWIAD.

DILLIGAFF

Do I Look Like I Give A Flying Fig? Polite version. Alternatively again DILLIGAF, which omits the 'Flying' element. And the variation (ack A Burger) Does It Look Like I Give A Fig? The possibilities are almost endless. Popularly used for emphasising a lack of time or concern for a particular issue arising. DILLIGAFF illustrates a personal view which could result from pure apathy, or more excusably from having more essential responsibilities and priorities, hence the expression's use in the modern heathcare industry, and similar sectors where there's more demand than resource to meet it. DILLIGAFF is the opposite to empathy, and can also be used to illustrate the 'apathetic worker' syndrome. (Ack Dr N Roney and S Didlick and the many others.)

DIMWIT

Don't Interrupt Me While I'm Talking. I rarely publish newly created acronyms in this listing, but this one is so good I had to include it. This was created and sent to me by writer Sandra McCarthy, thanks. An alternative interpretation (thanks P Myers) is Dual Income Mortgage We're In Trouble.

DIN

Do It Now. See JFDI.... For procrastinators everywhere. As the famous quote says: 'We all know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over..' (Aneurin Bevan).

DINA

Description Is Not Analysis. Simple yet profoundly useful acronym for anyone involved in helping others to think and interpret rather than simply paraphrase or describe. Commonly used by teachers when encouraging students to be more creative in answering questions. Readily transfers to corporate training and evaluation, business report writing, strategic planning, etc. (Ack Leena Cohen)

DINK/DINKY

Double Income No Kids/Yet. The only people these days who can remotely afford to buy a few bricks of and a couple of fence panels towards their first house. The Y for 'yet' was a later addition based on the pluralised DINKIES version of the base DINK expression.

DISFOB

Digital Interface is a Shit FOr Brains. Tenuously and amusingly constructed, and an obviously insulting term, allegedly used by certain members of the computer technical support community to describe an inept user. The loose construction of the acronym - which technically should be the very unmemorable DIIASFB - probably owes much to it bringing to mind the word 'dysfuntional'. Appalling of course. (Ack GJ) See also the ID 10 T code, PEBCAK, PICNIC, DISFOB, BDU, ESO, EBCAD and UBAD.

DMAIC

Define opportunity, Measure performance, Analyse opportunity, Improve performance, Control performance. The Six Sigma process improvement model, used by Six Sigma project teams, as defined by Motorola Inc. An acronym - or strictly an abbreviation - from the 1980s. One would have expected that such an all-conquering management movement, as Six Sigma seems now to be, could have come up with a more memorable mnemonic...

DNA

Deoxyribonucleic Acid, represented by the famous double helix, and the Human Genome Project which successfully mapped human DNA in 2003. DNA (Deoxyribonucleic Acid) was first identified in salmon sperm by Friedrich Miescher in 1869, and was generally accepted to carry genetic code of all living things following the published work of Crick and Watson in 1953. A mischievous alternative interpretation to the usual meaning of DNA is National Dyslexia Association, which is of course cruel if used as such, but does offer the opportunity to explain a little about Dyslexia, which is widely misunderstood. As regards the word Dyslexia, its meaning, 'difficulty with words' is derived from Greek (lexis is Greek for speech), and that's what it means - difficulty with words, notably spelling and reading - it does not mean that the person is daft or stupid, in fact often the opposite is closer to the truth. Dyslexia is often called a gift, since for many 'sufferers' that's what it is. Interestingly as many as 10% of people at work are thought could suffer with this disability to one extent or another (source: British Dyslexia Association - not the National Dyslexia Association, which is a made-up organisation to fit the acronym). Two important points about dyslexia: Dyslexia is technically a disability as well as a 'gift', so employers quite rightly have to make appropriate allowances for sufferers or risk falling foul of disability and discrimination laws. An innocently intended workplace joke or email, like the outrageously non-pc "Dyslexics of the world - Untie!" (thanks L Scott..) would be grounds for a disability discrimination claim, or perhaps even a bullying tribunal, so be careful. Secondly and more positively, dyslexia sufferers tend to have special strengths resulting from the way their brains work, notably in problem-solving, innovation, creativity, trouble-shooting, entrepreneurialism, intuitive feelings and judgements, sport, politics, and artistic expression of various sorts. Famous dyslexics include Albert Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Pablo Picasso, Andy Warhol, David Bailey, General George Patton, Robin Williams, John Lennon, Nigel Kennedy, Cher, Muhammad Ali, Steve Redgrave, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Woodrow Wilson, John F Kennedy, Richard Branson, Henry Ford, William Hewlett, Charles Schwab, Tom Cruise, Keanu Reeves, Erin Brockovich - see, it's a gift. This aspect of alternative strengths relates to multiple intelligence theory, which like the whole area of individuality, is much neglected in education and work. Employers, teachers, and individuals seeking more information about dyslexia should visit the BDA website. Finally, and nothing to do with Dyslexia, DNA might alternatively be employed (thanks S McCarthy) to mean Do Not Ask, which aside from other purposes is a witty response for anyone seeking the full scientific explanation.

DONFI

Day Off, Not Flipping Interested. Polite version. Most commonly used by off-duty staff of amenities such as hotels, swimming pools, holiday camps, bars, etc., towards fellow staff to signify their non-availability while using the facilities. (Ack R Banham)

DRAW

Dignity and Respect At Work. Acronym mnemonic for workplace culture, attitude, behaviour, values, etc. (Ack M Andrews)

DREAM

Dedication, Responsibility, Education, Attitude, Motivation. The DREAM acronym (technically a bacronym) has featured notably on rubber wrist bands, and is linked with Kevin Carroll, former NBA trainer, motivational speaker and author. According to Steve Wulf, an executive editor of ESPN's The Magazine (Oct 2005), "... Carroll, working at Nike at the time, noticed that clear DREAM bands were being put as giveaways in boxes of Kevin Garnett shoes..... Carroll asked if he could use them in the motivational talks he gave at schools and camps. Part of his spiel, in fact, had to do with the acronym DREAM: 'Dedication, Responsibility, Education, Attitude, Motivation.' Pretty soon, Carroll was handing them out by the thousands..." Also according to Wulf, the wristband penomenon can be traced back to the 1960s, when it was "just a series of rubber bands that urban basketball players put on their wrists as both a fashion statement and a shooting aid.... every athlete was wearing elastic cloth-covered wristbands.... But it wasn't until 2001 that the fashion statement took on some meaning.. " The DREAM acronym is now a well-established maxim for personal development and aspiring to be better. See also the NIGHTMARE acronym, which can be used alongside DREAM, to explore various fundamental attitudes, central to achievment and fulfilment, which are generally matters of personal choice and so can be altered at will given suitable enlightenment and purpose.

DRIB

Don't Read If Busy. Only the email generation could have developed the need for such an acronym....

DRIVE

Define, Review, Identify, Verify, Execute. Influential and useful acronym within the Quality Management field. (See Quality Management process improvement tools.)

DRIVER

Documents, Records, Interviews, Visuals, Evaluation, Review. For checking or auditing a control process, especially for vehicles and maintenance systems (thanks J Hadler). In detail: Documents - check documentation is correct; Records - check procedures are recorded; Interviews - check staff understand and are committed to the system; Visuals - visually double-check that the system has not missed anything (records and interviews do not guarantee everything is covered); Evaluation - has the system worked properly?; Review - periodically involve all - especially staff - to identify system improvements.

DRM

Digital Rights Management. DRM might seem one of the most boring abbreviations in this list, but Digital Rights Management is a hugely far-reaching issue. Digital Rights Management is basically the means by which intellectual property (IP) is protected and its usage is controlled. This particularly applies to intellectual property of the digital age: music, film, news, and arguably more significantly: information, software, and technology. The implications of Digital Rights Management extend ultimately to the way that knowledge and created works of all sorts are spread and made available around the world, the process of which of course contributes to the development of human civilisation. The 'web 2.0' age of the internet (community-generated content and technology provision and sharing) is now challenging how we all think and behave towards intellectual property. The internet offers unprecedented opportunities for sharing knowledge and extending access to created works of all sorts, whereas many IP owners and exploiters have an entirely different priority, namely profit. The transference of knowledge and technology among people around the world, and from one generation to the next, is what determines human progress. And yet typical corporate interpretations of DRM essentially seek to frustrate this process. Where DRM is restrictive and greedy, so knowledge and human advancement are suppressed. Where DRM is open and giving, so knowledge and advancement are expansive. The begs certain questions of IP owners and also of those who might challenge their behaviour and motives. For example, to what extent can people and organisations who have already made vast fortunes from their intellectual property be a little more willing to share for free? Could multi-billionaires start helping the world earlier, before accumulating such an incomprehensible level of personal wealth? Does accumulating money and power and corporate success make people mean and greedy, or are they mean and greedy to start with, and that's what makes them so effective at protecting and exploiting what they create? What is most important: making a ton of money, or making the most of what you can offer the world? These and other unfathomable questions will not be answered here and now, but in the way future generations look back on it all. And anyway, will anyone actually want to pay money for Cliff Richard's music in 80 years time?..

DRT

Dead Right There. (ODSA) Doctors and nurses shorthand acronym for a patient found dead at the scene.

DRTTTT

Dead Right There, There, There, and There. (ODSA) Nurses and doctors abbreviation, as DRT above, but used for pedestrian-train incidents. This outrageous acronym is an example of the human species' tendency to use humour when dealing with horrific trauma.

DRTAGTSTW

Dead Right There And Going To Stay That Way. Extended version of DRT used by certain US police and fire-rescue personnel in incidents involving catastrophic injuries. (Ack J Attison)

DTS

Danger To Shipping. Another healthcare coded shorthand term for particularly obese patients, very transferable (and equally insulting) to anyone who ate all the pies. Use with great care, in fact best not use it at all. (thanks D Chadwick)

DUTCHIE

Defer Until The Christmas Holiday Is Ended. Seasonal acronym explaining why most business comes to a grinding stop for two whole weeks at the end of the year. See also LUCID.

E&OE

Errors and Omissions Excepted. Shorthand disclaimer notice, used as a rider at the bottom of invoices and other documents with potentially legal and contractual implications. Effectively means that no liability is accepted for mistakes and omissions. (Ack N Whiteley)

EBCAD

Error Between Chair and Desk. ITC helpdesk shorthand, but of course not necessarily restricted to IT applications. EBCAD (Thanks P Bretnall) is a lovely variation on PEBCAK, and actually is far more widely useable since it better defines the human element (carelessness, ruthlessness, greed, laziness, etc) typically found to be at fault when things go tits up. Even the great noughties Credit Crunch and the beginning of the end of the free market economy as we once knew it can ultimately be distilled to a single simple common EBCAD error, albeit replicated across the most significant executive offices of the financial and regulatory world. See also PICNIC.

EBITDA

Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization. One of a series of esoteric 'EB' (Earnings Before..) financial acronyms, eg, EBT = Earnings Before Taxes; EBIAT = Earnings Before Interest after Taxes; EBIT = Earnings Before Interest and Taxes; EBITD = Earnings Before Interest, Taxes and Depreciation; and the completely unrelated EBRD = European Bank for Reconstruction and Development. (Earnings are profits from operating and non-operating activities.) More financial terms and definitions on the financial terms and acronyms section.

EDINBURGH

Elated Darling, I'm Near, Book Usual Room, Grand Hotel. Lovers code from way back. You see, people have been using social and flirting short-hand for generations - before texting was ever imagined, see also SWALK, NORWICH, etc.

EDIP

Explain, Demonstrate, Imitate, Practice. This is such a brilliant simple teaching and learning model. Apparently (thanks G Webber) EDIP is used in explaining teaching methods to trainee instructors at the UK Fire Service College. It's applicable just about everywhere else too.

EFTPOS

Electronic Funds Transfer at Point Of Sale. Retail acronym (thanks L Starkey). This is an extension of earlier EPOS (Electronic Point Of Sale) technoloogy which was initially concerned with stock management. Modern point of sale systems allow payment by electronic credit or debit method via connection to a central banking agency. It is now frighteningly easy to buy things, and this ease progressively increases. In fact the efficiency of the technology will inevitably and literally (with the replacement of PIN codes by iris recognition) turn the moment of purchase into a mere blink of the eye.

EGYPT

Eager To Grab Your Pretty Toes/Tits/Testicles. Non-pc armed forces acronym code used in letters to sweethearts at home, as other examples NORWICH, SWALK, HOLLAND, BURMA, CHIP, etc. (Ack R Tickner)

EPACA

Evaluate, Plan, Action, Check, Amend. And so on.... The helix of continuous improvement.

EPOS

Electronic Point Of Sale. The retail industry term for auto-readers - normally of bar-codes - at store checkout tills. EPOS caused a retail revolution, enabling massive advantages for retailers and sellers, including automated stock control and re-ordering, sales tracking, market research, staff de-skilling, customer service, customer spending profiling and loyalty card systems. Sometimes referred to as EPS. See also EFTPOS.

ERCP

Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangio-Pancreatoscopy. (ODSA) Healthcare acronym. A way of examining the bile ducts/gall bladder and pancreatic ducts using an endoscope. However, if a newly admitted patient dies suddenly before they have been examined ('clerked') by the ward doctor, the 'admission' notes may be written up post-mortem (after they should have been, in other words), in which case the acronym takes on a more mischievous interpretation: Emergency Retrograde Clerking of Patient. (ack ET)

ERIC

Emotional Reaction Impedes Control. Acronym version of the rule of 'counting to ten' to avert feelings of rage or distress. It is certainly true and generally forgotten in the heat of an argument or other stressful situation, that becoming overly emotional is rarely helpful, and usually damaging to all concerned. The theory and learning relating to Transactional Analysis is especially useful in understanding what causes emotional reactions and how to manage these feelings when you feel them rising up. Here is an ERIC poster pdf version of this fine maxim. (Thanks George Chamberlain, who in all likelihood originated this excellent mnemonic and aid to self-improvement around 1975. Incidentally the cartoon is from that time, and was drawn for George by Colin Howard.)


ESO

Equipment Superior to Operator. Coded acronym written on a work-order by a technician that means 'There's nothing wrong with this equipment - the problem is the owner.' See also PEBCAK, BDU, PICNIC, UBAD. (ack PM Christian)

ETAM

Everything To Attract Men. It was suggested to me a while ago that this is the origin of the ladies fashionwear chain name. It isn't, but it's an amusing acronym all the same. I am grateful to Alain Xhignesse for explaining that ETAM in fact derived from the company name ETAblissements Mayer, which in 1916 created the first ETAM store - a hosiery boutique in Germany - which later grew into the famous ETAM chain.

2FC/2

Too Flipping Clever by Half. Polite version. One of the more creative acronyms. Alternatively shown as 2FC over 2, as illustrated right. Various uses for self or for others, to warn against complacency, arrogance, over-engineered solutions, pride comes before a fall, etc. (Ack S Bignall) See 2BC/2.


F11K

Flip If I Know. Polite version. The mysterious 'F Eleven K' code has been appearing on technical query reports for many years. (Ack DR) See also the 'ID 10 T' code.

FAB

Features, Advantages, Benefits. A widely used selling techniques acronym within the traditional selling process and related sales training. People are more interested in what improvements a product or service will bring rather than a description of what is being sold. While modern sales methods have eclipsed the significance of the FAB principle, the fact remains: it's more important to focus on what a proposition will do for the listener, beyond merely what the proposition is.

FART

Fecal Air Rectally Transmitted. Daft and amusing restrospectively devised acronym, so it's technically a 'backronym'. The word fart in fact is derived from Old High German 'ferzan' (pronounced fertsan) from older Germanic roots 'fertan', both of which are clearly onomatopoeic (sounds like what it is), as is the modern-day word, unchanged in English since the 1200s. Words and language might change over time, but the sound of a fart is one of life's more enduring features.

FAS

Fat And Stupid. Healthcare coded patient notes acronym. Use with caution, although safely describes those 4 inch thick system manuals, written by experts, which don't actually explain anything about how to use the system. (Thanks S Fox). Also means Feasibility Analysis Study, which is rather less contentious.

FAT

Final Acceptance Testing. Marketing or product development technical term, (ack. Don Clark). Crucial stage often overlooked by egocentric owner-managers and corporate chieftains, expensive designers and advertising agencies, politicians and government project commissioners, etc., who become seduced by their own magnificence, and make disastrous assumptions on behalf ordinary people who then decide not to buy/vote/turn up, etc. FAT also may stand for Factory Acceptance Test, for example in the quality control of contracted manufacturing facility, (thanks DC).

FBO

Failing Better Offer. A caviat for many occasions - business negotiating, social diaries, time management and planning, quality management, percentage management - a great alternative to simply saying maybe or perhaps, or yes, when you really mean FBO. (Ack. Ben Ball)

FCNK

Fur Coat No Knickers. And with similar meanings, see also BHNC and AMAT. (Ack M Price)

FDGB

Fall Down Go Boom. Hospital accident and emergency notes acronym often referring to a patient's injuries caused by alcohol abuse. (Thanks B Villona) See also PAFO.

FEAR

Forget Everything And Run. Polite version. One of the best reverse acronyms (bacronym/backronym is the modern term) ever devised (thanks A Davice). The acronym explains what happens when the fear response takes over, and the primative brain switches to auto-pilot. Great for presentations training and 'training the trainer', to emphasise why nobody ever does anything really well under extreme stress except shut down. There are fruitier interpretations of the word Forget of course. An alternative acronym meaning which addresses the point that fear is 'all in the mind', and therefore not to feel so threatened by it, was popularised by Zig Ziglar: False Evidence Appearing Real. See the domino trick for a demonstration of false evidence. Additionally I am informed (thanks C Lane, who originated this clever alternative) of another excellent interpretation of the FEAR acronym, for use especially in teaching public speaking and presentation skills, where one's natural FEAR response can be seen instead in terms of nervousness benefits: Focused Energized Alert Ready.

FFFF (or the 4F's)

Find 'em, Feel 'em, Fondle'em, and Forget 'em. Polite version. This expression is in this listing for historical reference only and is not recommended for use anywhere. The Four F's probably originated and certainly came to prominence in the British Armed Forces, WWII. In its day the expression was of course gender specific but now in this age of gender equality is not necessarily so. (Ack G Day)

FIDO

Forget It and Drive On. An acronym made populr by motivational writer and speaker Zig Ziglar. Dwelling on past disappointments or seeking revenge is self-destructive. It's far better to concentrate effort on the next challenge. See also SUMO and BUFFS.

FIAT

Fart In A Trance. Every organization has a person who seems to be perpetually in FIAT mode. Most of us experience being in this state at least a couple of times a week, especially Mondays after heavy weekend, or while captive in corporate presentations or boring training sessions. Alternative to MEGO. (Ack Tony Lomas)

FIFO

First In First Out. Originally an accounting term, to provide a convention for writing down the balance sheet value of assets of the same type. Applies to any situation where the oldest go first and the newest stay longest, but a perilous policy in terms of staff. See ageism. More controversially (ack GR) FIFO describes the uncaring autocratic culture of certain employers - Fit In or F Off.

FILO

First In Last Out. Again originally an accounting term for depreciation practice, whereby the oldest assets are the last to be written off. The term has wider applications, particularly rock festival car parks, overcrowded tube trains and airport buses.

FILTH

Failed In London, Try Hong-Kong. Before handover of Hong-Kong by the UK to China in 1999, this acronym sardonically reflected the treatment by certain multi-national employers of under-performing or out-of-favour staff. (Ack JW)

FIGJAM

Flip I’m Good, Just Ask Me. Polite version. Superb acronym, with Australian origins apparently, for show-offs and big-heads everywhere. Ideal code for referring to person or behaviour when someone holds a very high opinion of themselves, through self-delusion, arrogance, or because they happen to be held in unreasonably high esteem by a superior. '...he's full of FIGJAM...' (Ack NB)

FIGS

French, Italian, German, Spanish. Shorthand used by some in considering or targeting the traditional four main languages of the European market and the demographics and communications variations required to address it.

FINE

Fanatical, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. Alternative ironic acronym response to the universal question, "How are you?.." (Ack D Jenkins). FINE carries an alternative meaning, more as a comment on someone else's mood: Feelings Inside Not Expressed, notably in the context of attitude, communications, coaching, life-change, etc. People commonly respond to the question, "How are you?" by saying "Fine," when they perhaps are anything but fine, (thanks K Freeman). Alternatively, ruder, and toned-down accordingly - Flipping Incapable of Normal Emotion, (thanks W O'Leary).

FIRE

Find Inform Restrict Extinguish. One of those wonderful acronyms in which the new word actully relates to the subject; this one for student fire-fighters, and anybody else for that matter, since it represents the essential rules and process of dealing with fires. (Ack JH)

FISH

First In Stays Here. Stock control expression, similar to FIST. (Ack A Chapman - no relation)

FISH & CHIPS

Fighting In Someone's House & Causing Havoc In People's Streets. Army infantry acronym for urban warfare.

FIST

First In Stays There. Financial and stock-holding term, describing the practice of not rotating the stock, so that the first pieces of stock stay in stock and 'on the books' for ever. (Ack J Taylor)

FITH

Fecked In The Head. Marginally more polite version than the common form. One of many no-nonsense nurses' acronyms to describe a patient's condition in terms that fall some way short of being politically correct. (Ack Charli)

FLA

Four Letter Acronym. Arguable contradiction in terms, and companion acronym for TLA. See also UTLA and UFLA.

FLK

Funny Looking Kid. (ODSA). Used by medical and healthcare folk to describe an infant or newborn whose looks are unlikely to provide a passport to fame and fortune. Perhaps (aside from dark humour at work) this is a manifestation of some sort of envy, given that 'funny looking kids' often grow to be some of the loveliest people you could ever wish to meet. Where we fear and ridicule funny looking people, deep down perhaps we see in them a strength and resolve that normal looking folk don't possess, because we've never had to. (Ever read Mary Shelly's Frankenstein?...)

FLKFLP

Funny Looking Kid, Funny Looking Parents. Healthcare acronym. See above. (Ack S Pennington)

FLUF

Fat Little Ugly Fellow. Polite version. For a short boss with Napoleonic syndrome. (Ack D Harrison)

FLOFTUS

First Lady OF The United States. Acronym for the president's wife, used by Whitehouse staff according to Richard Clarke, in preference to the more obvious and widely referenced FLOTUS. It's a mystery why the F is employed - perhaps FLOTUS means something else as well? Answers on a postcard please... First suggestion (ack Kit Watson): "I can think of a reason why they use 'FLOFTUS' and not 'FLOTUS'. Flotus is very close to the word 'Flatus', which refers to the gas passed in flatulence..."

FMCG

Fast Moving Consumer Goods. Nothing to do with skills development, just an acronym that lots of people have heard and don't know what it means.

FND

Flipping Nearly Died. Polite version of healthcare term, transferrable to descriptions of any traumatic aftermath, eg, sales conferences involving overnight stays and obliging night porters; excessive outward bound courses; car journeys with the firm's worst driver, etc. (Ack. A Carr)

FNG

Flipping New Guy. Polite version. Increasingly common acronym for the new recruit, especially in certain institutional environments (armed forces, police, etc) where new people stick out more prominently than the seasoned staff. Less relevant in organisations with a quicker staff turnover where the majority of the workforce can be FNG's. Alternatively expressed (ack T Birt) as a made-up word based on the phonetic quality of the FNG acronym: 'Fnoogy'.

FOAK

First Of A Kind. An acronym to illustrate the development or attainment of uniqueness, relevant to developing sales and business propositions, USP's and value-added offerings. (Ack PL) See also GOAT.

FOBIO

Frequently Outwitted By Inanimate Objects. Ideal for anyone struggling with one of those ridiculous picnic tables, flat-pack self-assembly furniture, crisis situations caused by errant cars, computers, mobile phones, and the ultimate FOBIO challenge - removing the cellophane from a new CD.

FOCUS(ED)

Futuristic Observation Creates Unique Solutions (Enabling Development). Training and presentations acronym to emphasise that vision is essential for creating unique solutions and development. (Ack PL)

FOB

Free On Board. FOB is an import/export term relating to the point (outgoing port or airport usually) at which responsibility for goods, insurance, and costs of transport, passes from seller (exporter) to buyer (importer). The FOB expression originates from the meaning that the buyer is free of liability up to the point that the goods are loaded on board the ship. In recent years FOB is used less specifically, even to the extent that other meanings are inferred from the acronym, most commonly Freight On Board (which appears in many online dictionaries and acronyms listings), and I've also heard of Fixed On Board. These distortions reflect the fact that the FOB principle is not readily recognised or understood by the Free On Board original (and quite old) meaning. When language doesn't make obvious sense people are apt to change it, which is how language evolves, which is okay so long as explanations are given. If you use or hear the term it's sensible to clarify precise meaning. More explanation about FOB in the financial terms section.

FOC

Free Of Charge. Widely used acronym promising a good deal, however see TANSTAAFL.

FOFO

Feck Off and Find Out. Regrettably there is no easy polite alternative to the F Off term. I'm doing my best to tread a narrow line without resorting to those silly ****s all over the place. One of the great training and management acronyms, it emphasises the opportunity or requirement for people to find answers themselves rather than be spoon-fed, which achieves little. Generally the process of development is much strengthened using FOFO principles wherever possible. Nevertheless, use it with care and with humour - see the Transactional Analysis guidelines on keeping communications adult-to-adult. If in doubt use GAAFOFY instead (see GAAFOFY). See also WIOFYFS. (FOFO: Ack. Neal Stothard)

FOOSH

Fall On Out-Stretched Hand. Medical acronym describing cause of injury to hand, wrist, etc. (Thanks B Villona)

FORCE

Focus On Reducing Costs Everywhere. From USA industry. An acronym that can be applied anywhere. Perhaps not the most progressive strategy ever invented, but sometimes necessary and helpful, provided the cost-cutting does not prevent activities that would otherwise bring good and fast returns on investment, and also provided that the long-term well-being of operations and people are not sacrificed. (Ack P Lock)

FORD

Found On Roadside, Dead. Apt and amusing acronym (backronym actually) to describe a project, idea, etc., not worth bothering with, due to high probabilty of ultimate failure. A quick explanation for not pursuing the non-viable. An excellent reminder of the need to invest one's time productively. (Ack D Compton) Alternatively, in relation to the car make, Found On Rubbish Dump. (Ack T Day). Alterntively and amusingly: Fix Or Repair Daily (Ack AJ), or arguably a more grammatically correct expression Fix Or Replace Daily (Ack SM). Then there is Flip Over, Read Directions, also First On Race Day, and how about For Outstanding Reliability and Dependability... (ack PL) See further automotive acronyms.

FRACS

Fornicates Regularly And Chain Smokes. (ODSA) The polite version is arguably better than the rude one. Nurses and doctors acronym for covert patients notes. (Ack L Speden)

FRED

Flipping Ridiculous Electronic Device. Polite version. An increasingly popular acronym that many people now use to describe a computer or other gadget causing frustration or technical difficulty for the user.

FUBAR

Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition. Polie version. Sister acronym to FUBB below, dating from way back and like FUBB popularised by American forces in the 2nd World War. The more polite version is commonly altered to Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition. (Thanks M Cook) FUBAR is now particularly used in the IT industry and healthcare sectors, for example (it is alleged) to describe a patient with specialised needs who has been treated by non-specialist doctors, and for whom now it is impossible to tell what signs/symptoms are due to the disease and what are to the inappropriate treatment. The expression is sometimes combined with BUNDY, ie., FUBAR-BUNDY = a FUBAR, for whom it is now too late for effective treatment. See also related terms such as SNAFU and VSF, etc. (Ack E Thomas and the many others)

FUBB

Fouled Up Beyond Belief. Polite version. An old acronym that is just as useful today as when first devised. Probably originated in the 2nd World War.

F**K

Finest Universal Cleaner Known/Fornication Under Consent of the King/For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge. First, let's deal with the 'Finest Universal Cleaner Known' bacronym. Apparently this was initially a Royal Navy acronym (bacronym) to describe 'elbow grease' and a reminder that physical effort generally produces the best results of all, irrespective of modern technology. The meaning behind this wonderful acronym is supported by the following story (thanks N Spargo): Apparently just before the Second World War, the British armed forces adopted new webbing, (the belt and harness to carry ammunition, water bottle, bayonet, etc). The new webbing was made of heavy canvas (khaki for the Army, blue-grey for the Air Force, white for the Navy), with numerous brass buckles and strap tabs. Of course the webbing had to be kept clean and bright, for which sailors were issued Blanco (whitening) and Brasso (brass polish). Early examples of the new webbing were particularly difficult to clean, whereupon official instruction from the old Chief Petty Officers was to use plenty of 'elbow grease', given that this was the 'Finest Universal Cleaner Known'. The sailors soon recognised the significance of the initials and developed a typical piece of folk wisdom: "If Blanco don't whiten it and Brasso don't brighten it then FUCK it.." See also BUGGER. Separately FUCK has been interpreted as a bacronym with the meaning Fornication Under Consent of the King, and separately (thanks B Murray) also For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, around both of which various stories assert that these expressions are the roots of the word itself, although sadly, none is true. See the fuck entry in the words and cliches page.

FUCT

Failed Under Continuous Testing. In other words, broken. One of the all-time great acronyms, and nothing rude about it at all, surely. Used especially by technical people in the entertainment industry and deserves usage and recognition on a global scale. Also expands to FUCT UP (Failed Under Continuous Testing Under Pressure). Arguably both are reverse acronyms, however you can't argue with them being very funny and elegantly succinct. In addition to the acronym itself, a particularly amusing example of usage was sent to me (thanks P Giles): 'F U C T U P' written one letter each across the six broken channels of a lighting control desk.

FUD

Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. Acronym from the marketing world, in which propositions leveraged by FUD create additional motivation for the target audience to buy or act - for example Y2K computer scare stories, various types of insurance, extended warranties and guarantees, security and surveillance offerings; typically most preventative products and services. (Thanks M Adamson)

FUGAZI

Foul Up, Got Ambushed, Zipped In. Polite version. Seemingly the FUGAZI acronym was first coined by US troops in Vietnam. FUGAZI is potentially transferable to other disasters resulting from poor preparation and over-confidence, eg., training sessions which turn into mutinies and customer meetings which force the supplier to give away massive concessions. FUGAZI was a Marillion album title (they knew what it meant) apparently, and is also a band (who didn't know what it meant - apparently). See also P6, etc. (Ack M Andrews)

FUJIYAMA

Feck You Jack I'm Alright. Marginally polite version. A fruity old acronym that's not a precise abbreviation, instead partly a clever phonetic structure in which the 'IYAM' element equates to the words I am, or 'I'm. The expression is from the rank and file soldiers of the 2nd World War, notably and almost certainly originating in the Pacific war zones. Interestingly this acronym also provided the origin of the more recent expression and humourous boast, at the expense of a lumbered mate: 'I'm alright Jack', which of course means the same as the full orignal FUJIYAMA version.

GAAFOFY

Go Away And Find Out For Yourself. Now this one looks like it's going to be packed full of swear words, but strangely it's not. A motto for self-reliance and taking personal responsibility. The quest for empowered people in organisations cuts both ways - the organisation needs to give people more freedom, and people need to take responsibility for finding their own answers and solutions. Managers of course need to support the process of achieving all this (see delegation and Tannenbaum & Schmidt). GAAFOFY is also a super acronym for daft questions received in a training, teaching and coaching context. It's a reminder that we all need to seek our own answers rather than rely on 'received wisdom' or someone else's solution that might well be overdue for improvement. See also WIOFYFS. For a free GAAFOFY colour poster see the free businessballs posters page.

GAAP

Generally Accepted Accounting Principles. To non-accountants this may seem a contradiction in terms.

GAAR

General Anti-Avoidance Rule. Pertaining to taxation and the avoidance thereof.

GAAS

Generally Accepted Auditing Standards. Perhaps only marginally less contradictory than GAAP, but they do exist, honestly.

GADD

Generation-Attention Deficit Disorder (Generation-ADD). Amusing if slightly insulting (and ironically, envious) reference to the modern generation of young people who need and can effectively absorb information, learning, entertainment, advertising, etc., much more quickly than older folk. Previous generations (X, Y, Baby-boomers for example) were brought up reading whole books, writing memos, and attending meetings, so their brains tend to be less well-tuned to the dramatically abbreviated communications and speed of life which characterise the blackberryfacespace age. GADD people even have their own language - largely free of vowels, punctuation, capital letters, etc - which older people criticise, but this is exactly how life and society changes. Each successive generation becomes quicker and more efficient at sending and receiving information, and this also extends to entertainment and leisure activities. To older people this faster lifstyle seems like laziness or carelessness, but in fact it is more a reflection of the progressive sharpening of human brainpower. Interestingly, genius minds of any generation have very low spans of attention: a sharp mind grasps a concept extremely quickly, becomes bored very quickly, and naturally seeks alternative stimulus if the present issue starts to drag. Despite what we might read about the worsening standards of education, young people are very sharp indeed. Civilisation advances proportionately to knowledge transfer and human collaboration. Quick brains facilitate this, therefore so-called 'attention deficit disorder' among youngsters is a healthy indication that civilisation continues to progress, which is gr8. See the generational theory model.

GADLAFTAC

Gates Are Down, Lights Are Flashing, Train Ain't Coming. Reference to a person or group exhibiting encouraging signs of understanding and capability, and then failing to act or respond due to some sort of serious and usually permanent malfunction. See also LOBNAH, PEARL, MEGO

GAK

God Alone Knows. Originally British First World War doctor's shorthand on a traumatised soldier's medical report for shell-shock or other nervous disorder (this prior to any official recognition of nervous condition resulting from months or years active service under fire and bombardment). Nowadays GAK serves as an incredulous reponse to any unfathomable question. See also NYDN.

GASP

Group Against Smokers Pollution. Nothing to do with business, but a really great acronym.

GIGO

Garbage In Garbage Out. Originated as a computer metaphor but deserves a much wider exposure. Use freely for any situation at all that involves effort and output (esp. design, recruitment, purchasing, etc.) Variations include CICO = Crap In Crap Out, and SISO, which you'll be able to work out for yourself. (Ack. GJ)

GLM

Good Looking Mum. Healthcare industry shorthand. Less earthy and somewhat more detached than the MILF alternative.

GLAM

Greying, Leisured, Affluent, Married. Another wonderful demographics acronym.

GMC

Garbage Made Carefully. A wonderful example of industrial warfare by acronym (no offence intended). "Lil' som'thing back from the Ford guys...." (Ack S Clory)

GMY

Godt Mitt You. (God be with you) The only Anglo-German hybrid abbreviation I know, used today as a sign-off in certain naval communications, notably still among Swedish vessels. Some believe its origin dates from the 2nd World War, when the message was sent between British and German enemy submarines operating in surface mode, when traditionally they would not engage, other than to communicate their mutual respect through this expression. (Ack Robert Stael Von Holstein) Others possible origins are suggested: That GMY was a greeting between German Wolfpack submarines during WWII who used the mixture of German and English words to confuse the allies; it was a traditional greeting between commercial ships; it stems from old unofficial telegraph code; is was an invention of a Swedish naval officer. Apparently the signal GMY is mentioned in "I nationens intresse", a novel by Jan Guillou. A retired WWII navy officer ascribes the origin of the signal to Christer Kierkegaard, who died 1999. There is apparently no mention of GMY in British or German signal books from WWII. (Ack Pieter Kuiper) If you can read Swedish these's more about GMY here.

GOAT

Greatest Of All Time. An acronym from the sporting commentators' book of superlatives, and transferable to all. Everyone can be GOAT at what they do and who they are. An alternative and related meaning for GOAT, as referenced by positive thinking writer Douglas Miller, is Goals, Objectives, Aims, Targets. In his excellent book about positive thinking, Miller uses the metaphor of 'herding' your GOAT's to explain the importance of organising personal activities so that they are focused on clear meaningful outputs, and in this respect there is a certain resonance between both GOAT acronym interpretations: decide what you want to be great at and then organise your plans accordingly.

GBC

General Body Crumble. (ODSA) Healthcare acronym to describe an elderly person with no specific diagnosis, but just generally deteriorating. (ack ET)

GOCO

Government Owned, Contractor Operated. An admission by government that they have the expertise to run the country (supposedly) but not anything as practical as a hot-dog stall.

GOFER

Genial Old Farts Enjoying Retirement. Super demographics acronym, allegedly originally seen on the back of a caravan touring Australia; now much used at retirement parties. Alternative meaning in similar context is Genial Old Fisherman Enjoying Recreation. (Ack LA)

GOK

God Only Knows. (ODSA) Apparently a popular healthcare diagnosis from many years ago, used especially on bank holidays/weekends, after midnight or when there was an important football match on TV. After a very quick visit to A&E the junior doctor would diagnose GOK and admit the patient to a ward, often adding LTNWIO (let the nurses work it out). Such patients not infrequently later had an ERCP. (ack ET)

GOLF

Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden. For chauvinists everywhere. Especially at the golf club. This is a bacronym, not the origin of the word golf. (Ack C Judd)

GOMER

Get Out of My Emergency Room. (ODSA) Abbreviation used on ungrateful, unworthy patient's notes; another superb contribution from LA nurses. (Ack KT)

GOSPA

Goals, Objectives, Strategies, Plans, Activities. A simple blueprint and order of thinking for business planning of any sort, even for large complex challenges and entire businesses. (Thanks Chris Starke)

GOYA

Get Off Your Arse/Ass. Acronyms are especially appealing when they are also a known word or name (see bacronym), although in this case the Spanish painter Francisco Goya was actually quite prolific and probably needed no such encouragement. Any connection is purely coincidental, as the saying goes. The acronym seems to have originated in the US military. (Thanks M Grasso)

GPO

Good for Parts Only. Healthcare acronym. Not the most optimistic diagnosis.

GROLIES

Guardian Reader Of Limited Intelligence, Ethnic Skirt. (ODSA) See FLK and other ODSA's. Use with care if you must use is at all, and whilst not necessarily recommended, there is a potential application for explaining the more technical aspects of customer profiling.

GROW

Goals, Reality, Options, Will. A maxim from the life-coaching industry, which makes a lot of sense, and is relevant to any situation that requires realistic objectives to be established, and then the planning and determination to achieve them.

GUBU

Grotesque, Unbelievable, Bizarre, and Unprecedented. GUBU is a sort of maxim of political and corporate infamy, effectively invented by Charles, J Haughey, Taoiseach of Ireland (Prime Minister) for three separate terms between 1979-92. Charles Haughey became embroiled in several outrageous scandals related to abuse of his position and financial affairs, and when questioned on one occasion prior to his eventual fall from grace he responded that the accusations were "...grotesque, unbelievable, bizarre, and unprecedented..." GUBU has since become a popular acronym in Ireland, and it is listed here because the underlying meaning and message is obviously transferable to all sorts of corporate and political so-called leaders, who abuse their power and insult the intelligence and tolerance of ordinary people, and then shamelessly deny their shortcomings and deceit with the GUBU defence. (Ack S Doherty)

GWR

Goes When Ready. A 'bacronym' popular in the days of the original Great Western Railway (which makes it over 50 years old - see full entry in corporanyms section) and of course transferable to many situations and people which act when ready and not before. As such GWR is a novel way to describe or present a personality or system which cannot be moved or changed without suitable preparation and patience. GWR people tend to be process and detail oriented. GWR situations tend to be big complex systems or networks (large old organizations and institutions) with lots of entrenched practices and attitudes.

HARTL

(This is now in the corporate backronyms 'corporanyms' list)

HASELL

Height, Airframe, Security, Engine, Location, Lookout. Checklist system popular in private pilot licence training for stall recovery and also used prior to aerobatics.

HCM

Human Capital Management. Arguably the same as HRM (Human Resources Management), although many (especially in the HCM field) would disagree, pointing to various 'new' HCM components linked to such terms as 'new economy', but which strictly speaking could be covered simply by a modern view of HRM. As with many labels, differences between HRM and HCM largely depend on your own situation and interpretation. If it suits your context/audience to differentiate between traditional HRM and more open and progressive methods (HCM) for managing people within an organization, then using the HCM title might bertter emphasise the difference or change you are aiming to achieve. If are studying modern HR practices and methods then again you will tend to find such ideas being presented under the HCM heading. But don't be kidded that the label itself changes anything. Good HRM will always be better than crap HCM. The use of a new title doesn't automatically ensure a successful initiative or implementation. On a more specific point, you will see the word 'Reporting' commonly appended to the Human Capital term, which indicates the additional emphasis on analysis and accountability that perhaps most distinguishes HCM from the traditional HRM in practice, although there is nothing to prevent well run Human Resources activities enabling and generating just the same reporting needs and outputs. What these things are called is not the issue - it's what actually goes on that matters. Cynics would say that HCM is not so much a different field, it's more a different way to sell more services, books, training, and the like. The HCM term has arisen in recent years, as new buzzwords and abbreviations tend to, when sufficient people embrace the idea that a new approach is warranted or opportune, in which case a new brand or packaging usually happens. How long the HCM expression lasts, and the notion that it is very different really from modern Human Resources Management, remains to be seen. As ever, it's not the label, but the precise definition and practice that counts. That said, if anyone would like to suggest any aspect of HCM that is not possible under HRM, please feel free, and I'll gladly publish the comments, or better still put together some sort of matrix by which the two terms can usefully be compared.

HEW

High Earning Worker. Demographic acronym, representing the UK's 534,000 people who earn more than £100,000 per household and yet regard themselves as 'working class', according to the Future Foundation (May 2006).

HIP

High Involvement Product. A marketing term for a product which requires a high amount of thought before purchase, cars, holidays, etc. By definition the selling approach must be different for HIPs compared to FMCG's and LIP's for instance.

HIV

Hair Is Vanishing. Amusing alternative interpretation (thanks EP) contrasting with the seriousness of the more usual meaning of Human Immunodeficiency Virus.

HIVI

Husband Is Village Idiot. (ODSA) Classic nurses' shorthand.

HOLLAND

Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies. Acronym from the envelopes of wartime home-bound love letters (see also CHIP, ITALY, SWALK, EGYPT and NORWICH). Text messaging ain't got nothing on it...

HOPEFUL

Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life. Another poignant demographics acronym. Could be a great name for the next governement initiative on pensions...

HR

Human Remains. Cynical interpretation of the more conventional Human Resources meaning (thanks Gwen). Additionally, alternatively, and ironically, also: Hardly Relevant (thanks Nikki).

HTH

Hope This Helps. Email abbreviation when replying to requests. Potentially counter-productive if the recipient doesn't understand what it means...

HTTP

Hyper-Text Transfer Protocol. Destined to become one of those abbreviations which nobody knows the origin of in thirty years time, and here mainly lest we forget.

HTML

How To Make Love. Amusing alternative interpretation of the more conventional HyperText Markup Language meaning of HTML, normally representing the code which underpins the workings of much of what we see on the internet. Alternative created and contributed by writer by S McCarthy, thanks.

HUHA

Head Up His/Her Arse/Ass. Not a good place for one's head to be and arguably a lot worse than up in the clouds. (Ack P Farrant)

IAMS

It's About Me Stupid. Elegant and wonderful acronym for many and various situations, especially explaining and understanding human relationships and communications. A great reference point for explaining the 'emotional contract' and the false notion that people will do what you say just because you tell them so. See also WIIFM, and the sections on empathy and Transactional Analysis.

IBM

I Blame Microsoft. A 'backronym' with different applications, aside from having a dig at MS, for example to highlight where a person finds it difficult to accept responsibility for their own actions, or more usually, inactivity. (Ack to Dr Neale Roney.) IBM is also interpreted (ack P&J) as I've Been Married, in dating circles, and in some jobs, for example the police service, which for some competes strongly with marital responsibilities. And with no slight intended to the IBM corporation (ack S Adam), since this can apply anywhere, Idiots Become Managers. More IBM acronyms (in fact backronyms or 'corporanyms') for IBM as used for the IBM corporation are listed in the corporate backronyms list.

ICE

In Case of Emergency. While the acronym has had this meaning for a while, in recent times the termonology has assumed additional significance: apparently modern practice is increasingly to identify a special 'ICE number' within one's mobile telephone 'phone book' listing, so that in case of suffering a debilitating accident or emergency, a person assisting anyone in their moment of need is able immediately to contact the nominated friend, spouse, parent, etc. (Ack D Kugler)

ID10T

Idiot. Not an acronym obviously but worthy of inclusion. The 'ID Ten T' code has been used by technical service people for years, and probably explains very well a large proportion of user-reported faults and queries. See also UBAD, ID10T, BDU, PEBCAK and PICNIC.

IDEA

Identify, Design, Execute, Augment. Process for changing anything. Identify the issues, priorities, constraints, resources; Design the plan; Execute the plan; Augment, refine, adjust and improve activies to consolidate change. (Ack. Dean Whitehead.)

IDEAL

Identify, Define, Explore, Action, Lookback. Process for solving problems: Identify the problem, Define it, Explore possible solutions and effects, Action the chosen solution, and Look back at the SNAFU you've brought about (not really - Look back at a 100% successful outcome and a job well done). (Ack. Don Clark)

IIP

Investors In People. The UK system of human resources quality and development accreditation system. Or more amusingly, Intellectually Impaired Person (or Passenger or Protester) - being the unofficial term allegedly used by some London Transport staff to describe a person aggressively questioning staff and appearing not to understand the information or explanations provided. (Ack AB) See also PITSA.

IKEA

Ingvar Kamprad, Elmtaryd, Agunnaryd. Ingvar Kamprad, from a place called Elmtaryd, in Agunnaryd, Sweden, founded the IKEA retail chain. Not a lot of people know that. Great quiz question. (Thanks SJ for the spelling correction)

IKWIAD

I Know What I Am Doing. Mantra for self-determination and reinforcing self-confidence. The expression logically extends to DIKWIAD? (Do I Know What I Am Doing?) for when a check of competence and preparation is helpful before embarking on new initiatives and challenges, etc. (Thanks B Heyn)

IKIWISI

I'll Know It When I See It. Ironic and actually very prevalent alternative approach to WYSIWYG. The IKIWISI principle is not a great help when working with specialists who require a decent brief. People exhibiting IKIWISI behaviour generally need help to try thinking a little about aims and outcomes. See also IKWIWWISI below.

IKWIWWISI

I'll Know What I Want When I See It. Variation on the above theme. The procrastinator's motto. Instead: sit down, think, write down some ideas or aims, and then you will get good results.

IMCIS

Identify, Manage, Change, Improve, Show. The basis of the Japanese approach to TQM, as in: Identify customer-supplier relationships, Manage processes, Change culture, Improve communications, Show commitment. (Acknowledgments to John Oakland.)

IMHO

In My Humble Opinion. We don't list many acronyms and abbreviations used in web-messaging, emails and texting, etc, because there are millions of them and other sites do it better; however the IMHO acronym has a certain resonance for life and communications generally, and it's been around for ages, so it is worthy of inclusion here. (Thanks DH)

INSET

In-Service Education and Training. On-the-job training in other words, just sounds a bit more technical.

IOWA

Idiots Out Walking About (or Wandering Around). For all those executives who haven't got a clue what's really going on in their companies, and think that a quick stroll among the workers will boost morale and uncover some great idea how to save or make the next million. (Ack Tom Calvert)

IP

Intellectual Property. A common term meaning copyrighted or trademarked or otherwise protected work, owned by the originator unless sold or transferred. Most international law recognises the originator's rights in any type of original work or idea - in whatever media. If you doodle on a napkin or take a photo or write a poem this is all automatically your intellectual property. If you write a book or a play or a training programme or you design a better mousetrap, this would all automatically be your intellectual property (unless of course it replicates intellectual property already belonging to someone else). IP is a widely used abbreviation referring to any work of original creation. It's a complex area however. Many employers quite reasonably insist that any IP developed by their employees relating to their paid employment automatically belongs to the employer (since the employer has paid for it). Some employers seek to extend this to employees' ideas and creations that are not related to the work, which is less reasonable. For more detail relating to IP issues attached to important or potentially significant personal or organisational liabilities, licensing, etc., it's best to seek qualified advice.

IPATTAP

Interrupt, Patronise, Argue, Threaten, Terminate, Apply Penalties. A less than ideal customer service process for dealing with complaints and dissatisfied customers - widely exhibited, especially by large organizations in the finance, insurance and telecoms sectors. The acronym is useful to remind all exponents of poor customer service how not to do it...

IPO

Initial Public Offering. Stock Exchange and corporate acronym for the initial sale of privately owned equity (stock or shares) in a company via the issue of shares to the public and other investing institutions. In other words an IPO is the first sale of stock by a private company to the public. IPOs are typically small, young companies raising capital to finance growth. For investors IPO's can risky as it is difficult to predict the value of the stock or shares when they open for trading. An IPO is effectively 'going public' or 'taking a company public'.

IPTV

Internet Protocol TeleVision (Internet Protocol TV). I wonder if an acronym ever had a more serious fundamental meaning than this one? Full convergence between computers and TV is fast approaching, and its effects will be wide and deep. Nick Negroponte saw something like this coming nearly twenty years ago (they called it the 'Negroponti Switch'). Now it's almost upon us, bigger and scarier than he ever imagined. Just as VOIP (Voice Over Internet Protocol) is revolutionizing the phone and mobile communications markets, so TV over the web will do the same for TV, and the incredible implications of combining unlimited on-demand content, a high-speed virtually free internet, and mobile communications. Look out especially for Joost, being pioneered by Zennstrom and Friis, who have already succeeded with two sector-rattling developments - Kazaa and Skype - now safely launched and divested. Other modern age entrepreneurs are now emerging alongside Joost to challenge the traditional 'old economy' media giants, who will all have their work cut out to keep pace with their quicker more efficient rivals in the battle for a share in this unimaginably dynamic market. If you want to try imagining the possibilities, consider combining all types of TV and video content, computer games, virtual reality, web 2.0 interactive internet technology (and the artificial intelligence of web 3.0 when it comes), and wireless anytime-anywhere high-speed high-capacity mobile connectivity. And that's just for starters...

IRBIA

I'd Rather Be In Ambridge. You've seen people with that 'IRBIA' look on their face, when the real world is getting to be too much. When they'd rather be somewhere else, far away from the pressures of a particularly tedious meeting or training course. (Ambridge is the fictional and normally idyllic home to Radio 4's 'The Archers'. There's even an IRBIA Mug.)

ISDN

Innovations Subscribers Don't Need. Amusing alternative interpretation of the abbreviation's original meaning: Integrated Services Digital Network, in other words a digital telephone line. Another alternative meaning: I Still Don't Know. (Ack Q Armitage) And another amusing meaning of ISDN: It Still Does Nothing. (Ack D McNally)

ISO

International Standards Organization. The international standards-setting organization chartered by the United Nations, more properly called the International Organization for Standardization, whose 'initials' prefix various published standards, typically four digit numbers, for example ISO9000, the quality standard. The words 'International Standards Organization' are, fascinatingly, a retrospectively applied meaning - ISO was not originally an acronym. The word derives from the Greek 'isos', meaning equal (as in 'isobar' - meaning a line on a weather map denoting the same atmospheric pressure, 'isometric' - meaning equal measure, and 'isosceles' as in an 'isosceles triangle', which you will remember from your school-days is a triangle with two equal sides).

ITALY

I Trust And Love You. Wartime back-of-envelope lovers code. (See also NORWICH, SWALK, and HOLLAND)

JAFO

Just Another Flipping Observer. Polite version. A prominent acronym from the days leading up to 'Y2K' (computing and business term for the year 2000) when everywhere large tense business meetings grappled with measures to avert catastrophic computer problems associated with the date change. Anyone unable to contribute to the meeting typically introduced themselves as 'Just here as an observer..', and were known as a JAFO. The acronym is a fitting term for non-participants, hangers-on, etc., where others are taking responsibility. (Ack T Smith) The term however pre-dates Y2K by some years; for example, it appears in the 1983 film 'Blue Thunder', in which the character Richard 'JAFO' Lymngood (actor Daniel Stern) is presented with a hat bearing the acronym then spends most of the film trying to find out what it means. That the subject matter of the film is US military and flying perhaps provides indication as to the true origins of the term. (Ack Keith Young)

JAPAN

Jump And Pump All Night. Australian origins apparently. Various applications. Presumably something to do with bicycles and trampolining. (Ack R Knight)

JFDI

Just Flipping Do It. Pronounced 'Jifdi', this acronym is the antidote to procrastination, and a reminder that simply getting on with it is often the best answer to most moments of self-doubt. JFDI is a must for management training, time management and a maxim for self-reliance and empowerment.

JICNARS

Joint Industry Committee for National Readership Surveys. The body which established and runs the ABC social grades classification system, much used by media and marketing folk. See the demographics section.

JIT

Just In Time. JIT normally describes operational or production methods based on minimizing stock levels, the aim of which is to reduce capital employed in stock, which also has knock-on benefits to reducing storage space, decreasing dependence on logistics, easier supply chain management, and better overall quality. That's the theory anyway. JIT is a lot trickier than it sounds. Certain industries and technologies are far more amenable than others to Just In Time management, and the concept is typically most useful when viewed as a benefit or flexibility arising from strategic improvement within a business operation, than a cause of improvement itself, which it is not. Introducing Just In Time methods without creating the required efficiencies and reliabilities beforehand is not a viable change. There is no room for errors when employing Just In Time management methods, so where an operation is incapable of accommodating JIT methods the description 'disaster waiting to happen' is more apt. Be mindful of this risk whenever you see such examples or suggestions. JIT management requires total commitment to quality and efficiency or the supply chain breaks down and operations come to a halt. The term and methodology were developed within the total quality management field by the Japanese as a next step on from 'materials requirements planning' (MRP). The Japanese original terminology is 'kanban', and it is a vital part of the 'lean production' process methodology. The aim of kanban is actually zero inventory. JIT was and is used successfully by highly efficient manufacturing corporations, notably the Japanese, and has been enabled by computerization especially to analyse and manage timings rather than stock levels. Noted authors to have covered the subject include Edwards Deming, Taiichi Ohno, and Yasuhiro Monden. More generally, similar Just In Time principles can be applied to other functions besides manufacturing and stock and materials management; really any activity where cost and resource can be saved by minimizing leeway and contingencies relating to supply deadlines. The term arises in formal and cynical variations by adding suffixes with the initial letters of the particular Just In Time (or dangerously starved) activity or resource, for example: JITS = Just In Time Stock, JITT = Just In Time Training, JITIA = Just In Time International Aid, etc. Humorous antonyms include JTL = Just Too Late, and the frustratingly JTFL = Just Too Flipping Late.

JOB

Just Over Broke. Acronym for economic and financial life-change. A useful spur if you are contemplating self-employment, starting your own business, buying a franchise, becoming a consultant, plumber, etc. (Ack P Gosling)

KAS

Knowledge, Attitude, Skills. The constituents required for people to succeed at what they do, individually and collectively. Knowledge and Skills can largely be trained; Attitude can't - it's a factor of personality, emotion, personal circumstances, and the organizational environment - accountants and bosses can't measure it, so it's often overlooked, and then the boss and the accountant wonder why people aren't performing. (Ack. Don Clark) See also KASH below.

KASH

Knowledge, Attitude, Skills, Habits. Another useful acronym for trainers to explain different aspects of learning. Generally skills and knowledge are easier to develop and change than attitude and habits. (Ack SD) If you know the origins of the KASH acronym please contact us.

KEV

Key Ethical Value. More typically shown in plural as KEVs, referring to the Key Ethical Values of an organization or proposition.

KEY

Keep Extending Yourself. Coaching and motivational maxim. A reminder of the importance of striving to improve yourself, and always to be seeking new challenges.

KIPPERS

Kids In Parents' Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings. See also SKI-ing for the antidote. (Ack. D Rowland)

KISS

Keep It Simple Stupid. One of the all time great acronyms, and so true. A motto and reminder that simplicity works - in communications, design, philosophy, relationships, decision-making, meetings, management and life generally. Apply and promote KISS to any situation to deter unnecessary complication, excuses, bureaucracy, red-tape, and to encourage practical positive outcomes, no-nonsense communications, integrity, truth, beauty, and honesty. (See also 'JFDI'). Variations on the KISS theme include Keep It Short and Sweet, Keep It Simple Sunshine, Keep It Simple and Straightforward, Keep It Simple Sister, Keep It Simple Sweetheart, etc. For a free KISS colour poster see the free businessballs posters page.

KITA

Kick In The Ass/Arse. Motivation at its most basic. In fact not motivation at all. (See also AKUTA). Managers persisting with this idiocy will find that after a KITA session the recipient will be motivated to move only the small distance that Newton's Laws of Motion provide for them to do so, and then will do one or more probably a number of certain things:

• sprawl to the floor in a useless heap (metaphorically) and be less committed and productive than they were pre-KITA, and/or

• turn around and return their manager's KITA with a PITG (Punch In The Gob) and/or

• say nothing, go home and begin preparations to STEFABOD (Sue The Employer For A Barnful Of Damages).

KLOE

Key Lines Of Enquiry. System much used now by the UK Audit Commission (and no doubt by other highly centralised and high-control culture organizations) to set down extremely specific criteria for inspectors assessing and reporting on local government services. So much for empowerment... (Ack MC)

KOALA

Kit Off And Legs Akimbo. Various applications, most obviously referring to sexual readiness. Incidentally the word akimbo normally refers to arms not legs - hands on hips, with arms bent at the elbow. (Thanks S Smith, possible/probable originator, c.2002) Early recollections of this acronyms welcome. Please send them.

KPI/KSI

Key Performance Indicator/Key Success Indictor. A measure, target or standard, used to manage and gauge the performance of an activity, process or project. Establishing a series of KPI's or KSI's is a very useful way to manage, monitor and assess the effectiveness of any organizational activity or process (Thanks for reminder Nick Whiteley). KSI (= Key Success Indicator) is a less common version of this acronym.

KYHAFTY

Keep Your Hands And Feet To Yourselves. For the youngest of audiences, or unruly adult ones. Originally a teachers' acronym but much too good to restrict to school assemblies. (Acknowledgments to Anstey Latimer School, Leicester, England.)

LADDER

Longitudinal And Directional Distance Extremity Reacher. Perhaps one of the silliest and most wonderful reverse acronyms ever to have been devised. (Ack M Rand)

LADIES

Life After Divorce Is Eventually Saner. Motto for independence and self-determination, from the so-named activist group.

LAMP

Lower Academically-Minded Person. Euphemistic reference to an idiot, or someone who's behaviour resembles one. (Ack P Garbutt) LAMP® also refers to the Miller Heiman organisation's Large Account Management Process, which is an altogether more serious use of the abbreviation (see the sales training section).

LANO

Lights Are Not On. For people who aren't concentrating or simple unable to do so. See MEGO, PEARL and RHINO. The shorthand coded version of 'The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead'. (Ack L Speden) Alterntive acronym is: LONI = Lights On, Nobody In. (Ack MG)

LASER

Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation. Should technically be LABTSEOR, but it would never have caught on. (Thanks KBS)

LAST

Listen, Advise, Solve, Thank. A good aid for training customer service and complaints handling. (Ack Tumby). Certain organizations continue to pursue less positive methods, notably the IFO technique (Ignore and Fob-Off) or the IPATTAP model (Interrupt, Patronise, Argue, Threaten, Terminate, Apply Penalties).

LBIAC

Left Brains In Airport Carpark. As used by airport and airline ground handling staff the world over, and also very good for inattentive delegates who've had to make an expensive air trip just to fall asleep on your training course. (Ack. David Rawsthorn)

LDL

Low Decision Latitude. LDL is an occupational health term, increasingly finding its way into mainstream management discussion. Low Decision Latitude among staff fundamentally undermines performance and welfare at work. Latitude here means scope or flexibility. Low Decision Latitude refers to lack or loss of personal control and choice in the way a job is done. Low Decision Latitude contributes significantly towards workplace stress, and potentially other health problems such as heart disease. Despite this, many organizations persist with management and operational strategies which greatly restrict individual freedoms as to how tasks are done (called Job Decision Latitude), so that workers experience LDL and consequent productivity problems - the opposite of what the management pressure sought to accomplish. Restriction of choice and control is in itself stressful; also stressful is the restriction or imposition of working/thinking style. LDL causes both. Low Job Decision Latitude is a longer version of the term. (Thanks P McAndrew)

LEAR

Listen, Empathise, Ask, Resolve. A fine mnemonic for customer service and other problem-solving communications, which appears in John Stanley's highly regarded book Just About Everything a Retail Manager Needs to Know (thanks Stephen Carr, Dec 2007). John Stanley is a retail expert, writer and speaker. Here is more detail of the model represented by the LEAR acronym:

1. Listen - You must show serious and honest concern for the customer seriousl, which you will begin to do by listening. By listening actively you also take the first step towards diffusing customer upset or anger.

2. Empathise - Put yourself in the customer's shoes and see the situation from their perspective. Showing genuine concern and understanding is vital for empathy. Understanding is not necessarily the same as agreeing, which can be important where the issue needs investigating before finally resolving.

3. Ask - Ask Questions: ask open questions (what, how, etc) to diagnose the situation or request, and never attempt to interrupt, or justify your point or argue. The customer is not interested in your point of view - the other person wants you to understand them, not present a defence or a counter-argument.

4. Resolve - Resolve the problem to the customer's satisfaction as quickly as possible. Consider the value of the customer and not the cost of resolving this particular issue.

(Thanks Stephen Carr, and acknowledgements to John Stanley, who confirmed to me that to the best of his recollection he devised the acronym in the 1970s. Here is John Stanley's website, which will be useful especially if you are interested in the retail industry.)

LEDO

Listen, Empathise, De-personalise, Offer. Mainly for customer service, and also good for any conciliation or conflict resolution: listen to the complaint, empathise with the customer, de-personalise the situation (both of you stand back and look at it objectively), and then offer a solution. Brilliant and simple. (Ack. Matt Booth)

LIFER

Lazy Ignorant Fool Expecting Retirement. One of the many amusing acronyms with miltary origins, with wider potential applications. The armed forces offer relatively short timescales by which staff can retire on a full pension, hence the expression to describe people who fail to make the most of their opportunities and efforts. The term has also been spotted in the education sector. (Ack DR)

LIP

Low Involvement Product. Marketingspeak for a product which doesn't require much thought before purchase. Question: Are all FMCGs LIPs as well?

LITE

Load, Individual, Task/Travel, Environment. Health and Safety manual handling checklist mnemonic. Consider the item characteristics (shape, weight, ease of handling, etc); the person (age, gender, ability, training, etc); the procedure and distance (awkwardness, duration, frequency, etc); and the surrounding situation (conditions, temperature, logistics, pressure, etc). (Thanks C Davis)

LOBNAH

Lights On But Nobody's At Home. Great extension of LANO, LONI or as an alternative to PEARL. Also for people who say that they've been listening when really we know they haven't.

LOL

Lots of Love. (Or) Laughing Out Loud. Ubiquitous acronym found in email, chatroom and texting communications. Very probably the most common acronym in use today.

LOFT

Lack Of Flipping Talent. Sardonic put-down or comment upon a daft action of a colleague found in banter across City trading floors and sales offices where such aggressive and competitive behaviours are part of the scene. (Ack R Werrett)

LOMBARD

Loads Of Money But A Real Dickhead. As if any confirmation were needed; inheritence or accumulation of wealth doesn't necessarily correlate with decency and integrity. A good acronym for Maslow and Herzberg emphasis. (Thanks DM for reminder) Lombard in fact is a very old word for a pawn broker, derived from Lombardy in Italy where the system first flourished due to religious constraints surrounding money-lending.

LONI

Lights On, Nobody In. Alternative acronym to LANO from the 'wheel is turning but the hamster is dead' category. (Ack MG)

LUCID

Leave Until Christmas Is Done. Yuletide acronym, when procrastinators everywhere are joined by most of the western world in deferring anything other than a life-threatening emergency until the Christmas blow-out is properly organized and maximum enjoyment extracted.

MAAH

Mad As A Hatter. (ODSA) This healthcare acronym has a certain onomatopoeic quality... (Ack E Thomas)

MAEW

Moves All Extremities Well. (ODSA) Nurses and doctors acronym used on patient notes. The term is perfectly transferable to over-active team members, and delegates at meetings or training courses. See also KYHAFTY.

MACINTOSH

Most Applications Crash. If Not, The Operating System Hangs. Largely unfair but very clever reverse acronym.

MBA

Master of Business Administration. Not everyone knows what this actully stands for, and when you think about it, 'Master of Business Administration' arguably gives a somewhat lop-sided impression of what modern business management is all about. Too late to change it now though..

MBO (or MBO's)

Management By Objectives. The classic management, delegation and development technique, but which people's activities and aims - and the coaching support given - can be geared to organizational targets and priorities. See also SMART and SMARTER, and the techniques for effective delegation. (Thanks for reminder SD)

MBWA

Management By Walking About (or Wandering Around). Depending on who is doing the walking about and whether you are in the vicinity this could be either a good thing or a bad thing. If you are a manager and like to manage by walking about make sure you do it with humility and genuine interest. Better still why not actually do the job on the factory floor for a week and you'll really find out what's going on. (Thanks Tom Calvert for pointing out this omission.) See also IOWA. The term MBWA is generally acknowledged to have been coined by Tom Peters (In Search Of Excellence, 1982), but the MBWA style, and it's extended variant MBWAL, were part of a new management ideology which seems to have been first pioneered by a few bright American companies as far back as the 1940s (eg Varian Associates, the healthcare company), along with Management By Objectives and Open Door Management. The style was later adopted and further evangelised from the late 1950s onwards by David Packard and William Hewlett, the founders of Hewlett Packard (who incidentally seem to have learned it from working at some stage with Edward Ginzton of Varian). This modern approach is also known as Silicon Valley Management - SVM - because that's location of the first companies who used it, and where its effectiveness was first proven. The SVM style, and its contemporary variations, now a mainstay of recently successful big organizations like Cisco and Sun, is also indirectly referred to as the 'HP Way'.

MBWAL

Management By Wandering Around and Listening. Extension of the MBWA management technique.

MEGO

My Eyes Glazed Over. Watch for this sign from your audience at your next presentation. If spotted you could need more acronyms.... See PEARL and LANO also.

MELVIN

Mediocrity, Ego, Limits, Vanity, Incompetence, Name-calling. Non-productive aspects of workplace behaviour and attitude. Various MELVIN terms (eg 'NO MELVIN', 'Don't be a MELVIN', 'No MELVIN's here', etc) help remind people of the behaviours to avoid, especially in blame cultures or negative-thinking environments. (Ack P Lubbers) Sits well alongside other motivational and positive attitude maxims, many examples on the quotes and leadership sections, and links well with the philosophies of Covey's seven habits, Carter-Scott's rules of life and Ruiz's Four Agreements.

MILE

Maximum Impact, Little Effort. Acronym to express the principle of optimising productivity, and the value of identifying 'high-yield' areas on which to apply 'high-yield' methods and techniques. Especially helpful in sales and marketing training. See also PAY and MOFMOF. See Pareto Principle (The 80:20 Rule). (Ack PL)

MILF

Mom I'd Like to Fondle. Polite(-ish) version. Thank you to the several million people who have pointed out this omission. Outrageous of course. Mom I'd Like to Feel offers some variety aside from the obvious and better known version. These are not references to incest. MILF came to prominence in the 1999 teen-movie American Pie, hence US spelling Mom instead of Mum. Variations include MILT (Mom In Leather Trousers), MILE (Mom I'd Like to Enjoy), SMILE (Soccer Mom I'd Like to Enjoy), SMILT (Soccer Mom In Leather Trousers) and DILF (work it out). Please don't send any more. Oh alright then.. (Acknowledgements are too numerous to mention. You know who you are..)

MIP

Mobility Impaired Person. Semi-official acronym used by London Transport staff to describe a person who may have difficulty using stairs or escalators because of some physiological condition or because they are burdened with heavy luggage and/or children. (Ack AB) See also VIP.

MMM or 3M

Measurable, Manageable, Motivational. A great tri-pod or three-legged stool analogy - the three essential struts for any contracted arrangement or understanding, or delegated task. Remove any of the three legs and the structure falls over. See also SMART, and the Smartie Hunt team building game. Alternatively: Mrs, Mother, Martyr, with an optional fourth M for Mistress if appropriate. (Ack E Gidley)

MOFMOF

Minimum Of Fuss, Maximum Of Flavour. The MOFMOF principle and acronym are advocated by, and should be attributed to, Italian chef Antonio Carluccio. The MOFMOF maxim is however extremely transferable to work, management, business, and to life generally, since it essentially emphasises the concept of focusing your effort on what matters most. 'Minimum of Fuss' equates to minimum effort, investment, time, resources, etc. 'Maximum of Flavour' equates to maximum return, result, reward or effect, etc. This is the secret of productivity, sustainable success, and effectiveness in all fields, not just cooking, and is one of the most widely neglected simple rules of achieving anything. The wonderful Pareto Principle (80/20 Rule) provides a useful scientific perspective to support the MOFMOF analogy, in which '80' equates to the reward and '20' equates to the effort. Thus, the aim is not to achieve absolute perfection (which is invariably a subjective judgement anyway), but instead to seek the best ratio between input and output - best output relative to input. See also the acronyms MILE and PAY, which convey similar ideas. The Law of Diminishing Returns is another (converse) way of exploring or illustrating this principle, i.e., that beyond an optimum 'MOFMOF' level and type of effort (investment, resource, time, etc), which is commonly the crucial 20% of the maximum possible, the rate of return declines, such that, for example, the final 1% of improvement might easily require a whopping 75% of the total possible investment. N.B. The MOFMOF principle is not to be confused with or regarded as undermining Total Quality methodologies such as Six Sigma and TQM (Total Quality Management) which concern near-to 100% quality and reliability necessary in critical processes such as manufacturing and other activities with important safety and reliability implications. TQM and Six Sigma deal with absolute situations, where performance and quality is viewed in isolation. MOFMOF and Pareto Analysis are useful in relative situations, where performance and quality do not have to be perfected in every single absolute respect, rather optimised to produce the best result or effect, relative to the investment.

MOODLE

Modular Object-Oriented Dynamic Learning Environment. Moodle is a very popular open source VLE (Virtual Learning Environment) internet website platform. Platform in this sense means the technology and code on which a website operates. Apparently the M first stood for Martin, after Martin Dougiamas, the originator of the Moodle system. Also, apparently, the word moodle is now a verb too, referring to the process of improvisation and discovery leading to enjoyable personal development and learning. Moodle.

MOLAD

Matter Of Life And Death. Acronym for extremes and emergencies. (Thanks A Sanderson)

MOP

Measure Of Performance. Critical and essential aspect of all sorts of business activities (training, delegation, planning anything, product development, etc), often overlooked, which invariably produces unsatisfactory and un-measurable results that then surprise the perpetrators. (Ack. Don Clark)

MTBCM

Mean Time Between Changes of Mind. Originally an engineering abbreviation, which is actually applicable to all project work and delegated tasks, from the perspective of the delegate, or person expected to carry out the work. When designing, performing or carrying out any activity at the request or instruction of another person or group, it is usually best to wait a given time (the MTBCM) until the specification has stabilised. A few situations and instructions have a MTBCM of zero (for example when you have left your car in the CEO's car-park space); most other tasks (for example creating a new corporate brochure or a company-wide training programme) tend to change in nature considerably, and many times, before agreement is possible on final specification. The MTBCM factor does not allow of course for those projects which need to be started before a precise specification can be agreed, which is another matter altogether.... (Ack MG)

MUPPET

Most Useless Police Probationer Ever Trained. Not a recommended trainer's term, given the acronym's obvious disrespectful tone. (Thanks NT). See also Muppet in the word origins.

MUPPIE

Middle-aged Urban Professional. Amusing twist on the YUPPIE theme. Another demographic social class acronym from the 1980s.

NAAFI

Navy, Army and Air Force Institutes. Again, one of those acronyms whose origins are not widely known. The NAAFI traditionally run shops and bars within forces establishments. NAAFI has been alternatively and mischievously interpreted within parts of HM Forces as Naff All Ambition F' all Interest or Not At All Flipping Interested in referring to certain NAAFI staff who display a lack of motivation, arguably resulting from low incentive, and by comparison with their customers, a relatively safe existence. (Thanks R Bolden and S Keightley)

NACTAC

Not A Chance Til After Christmas. Understandable response from overworked despatch departments and customer services staff when attempting to explain quite reasonably that it's not possible to process urgent last-minute orders received at lunchtime on the day before holiday shut-down. Variations include NACTAE (Easter), NACTAT (Thanksgiving), etc.

NAD

Nothing Abnormal Discovered/Detected. (ODSA) Nurses and healthcare staff acronym to describe test results that are within the normal range. However, NAD is alternatively often used when superiors ask for the results of tests that no-one thought to order, in which case it means Not Actually Done..... This form of the acronym is of course eminently transferable to all orgnisational situations where managers fail to notice their mistakes, and also fail to notice the generosity of their staff, who bail them out and never mention a thing.... (ack E Thomas)

NALGO

Not A Lot Going On. Retrospectively applied meaning to the NALGO trade union name. The acronym's original meaning was National Association of Local Government Officers, which merged with NUPE and COHSE in 1993 to form UNISON, now the largest UK trade union representing over a million public service workers and volunteers. (Ack R Tickner)

NATO

Not A Team Operator. Excellent reverse acronym for emphasising verious aspects of team-working, and specifically for glory-hunters and autocrats everywhere (Ack. L Speden). Also mischievously interpreted as No Action, Talk Only (thanks G Cook), which given the meaning has far wider application than references to NATO, which properly stands for the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. NATO comprises 26 countries (as at May 2008), all supposedly '...committed to fulfilling the goals of the North Atlantic Treaty, signed on 4 April 1949...' If you are interested in what the treaty is and what NATO is technically for, here it is below. I love the irony where it says "...to settle any international dispute in which they may be involved by peaceful means in such a manner that international peace and security and justice are not endangered, and to refrain in their international relations from the threat or use of force in any manner inconsistent with the purposes of the United Nations..." The interpretation Not A Team Operator is rather fitting don't you think in terms of certain NATO and UN members' behaviours in modern times.

The North Atlantic Treaty - Washington D.C. - 4 April 1949

The Parties to this Treaty reaffirm their faith in the purposes and principles of the Charter of the United Nations and their desire to live in peace with all peoples and all governments. They are determined to safeguard the freedom, common heritage and civilisation of their peoples, founded on the principles of democracy, individual liberty and the rule of law. They seek to promote stability and well-being in the North Atlantic area. They are resolved to unite their efforts for collective defence and for the preservation of peace and security. They therefore agree to this North Atlantic Treaty : Article 1 The Parties undertake, as set forth in the Charter of the United Nations, to settle any international dispute in which they may be involved by peaceful means in such a manner that international peace and security and justice are not endangered, and to refrain in their international relations from the threat or use of force in any manner inconsistent with the purposes of the United Nations. Article 2 The Parties will contribute toward the further development of peaceful and friendly international relations by strengthening their free institutions, by bringing about a better understanding of the principles upon which these institutions are founded, and by promoting conditions of stability and well-being. They will seek to eliminate conflict in their international economic policies and will encourage economic collaboration between any or all of them. Article 3 In order more effectively to achieve the objectives of this Treaty, the Parties, separately and jointly, by means of continuous and effective self-help and mutual aid, will maintain and develop their individual and collective capacity to resist armed attack. Article 4 The Parties will consult together whenever, in the opinion of any of them, the territorial integrity, political independence or security of any of the Parties is threatened. Article 5 The Parties agree that an armed attack against one or more of them in Europe or North America shall be considered an attack against them all and consequently they agree that, if such an armed attack occurs, each of them, in exercise of the right of individual or collective self-defence recognised by Article 51 of the Charter of the United Nations, will assist the Party or Parties so attacked by taking forthwith, individually and in concert with the other Parties, such action as it deems necessary, including the use of armed force, to restore and maintain the security of the North Atlantic area. Any such armed attack and all measures taken as a result thereof shall immediately be reported to the Security Council. Such measures shall be terminated when the Security Council has taken the measures necessary to restore and maintain international peace and security . Article 6 (1) For the purpose of Article 5, an armed attack on one or more of the Parties is deemed to include an armed attack: on the territory of any of the Parties in Europe or North America, on the Algerian Departments of France (2), on the territory of or on the Islands under the jurisdiction of any of the Parties in the North Atlantic area north of the Tropic of Cancer; on the forces, vessels, or aircraft of any of the Parties, when in or over these territories or any other area in Europe in which occupation forces of any of the Parties were stationed on the date when the Treaty entered into force or the Mediterranean Sea or the North Atlantic area north of the Tropic of Cancer. Article 7 This Treaty does not affect, and shall not be interpreted as affecting in any way the rights and obligations under the Charter of the Parties which are members of the United Nations, or the primary responsibility of the Security Council for the maintenance of international peace and security. Article 8 Each Party declares that none of the international engagements now in force between it and any other of the Parties or any third State is in conflict with the provisions of this Treaty, and undertakes not to enter into any international engagement in conflict with this Treaty. Article 9 The Parties hereby establish a Council, on which each of them shall be represented, to consider matters concerning the implementation of this Treaty. The Council shall be so organised as to be able to meet promptly at any time. The Council shall set up such subsidiary bodies as may be necessary; in particular it shall establish immediately a defence committee which shall recommend measures for the implementation of Articles 3 and 5. Article 10 The Parties may, by unanimous agreement, invite any other European State in a position to further the principles of this Treaty and to contribute to the security of the North Atlantic area to accede to this Treaty. Any State so invited may become a Party to the Treaty by depositing its instrument of accession with the Government of the United States of America. The Government of the United States of America will inform each of the Parties of the deposit of each such instrument of accession. Article 11 This Treaty shall be ratified and its provisions carried out by the Parties in accordance with their respective constitutional processes. The instruments of ratification shall be deposited as soon as possible with the Government of the United States of America, which will notify all the other signatories of each deposit. The Treaty shall enter into force between the States which have ratified it as soon as the ratifications of the majority of the signatories, including the ratifications of Belgium, Canada, France, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, the United Kingdom and the United States, have been deposited and shall come into effect with respect to other States on the date of the deposit of their ratifications. (3) Article 12 After the Treaty has been in force for ten years, or at any time thereafter, the Parties shall, if any of them so requests, consult together for the purpose of reviewing the Treaty, having regard for the factors then affecting peace and security in the North Atlantic area, including the development of universal as well as regional arrangements under the Charter of the United Nations for the maintenance of international peace and security. Article 13 After the Treaty has been in force for twenty years, any Party may cease to be a Party one year after its notice of denunciation has been given to the Government of the United States of America, which will inform the Governments of the other Parties of the deposit of each notice of denunciation. Article 14 This Treaty, of which the English and French texts are equally authentic, shall be deposited in the archives of the Government of the United States of America. Duly certified copies will be transmitted by that Government to the Governments of other signatories. The definition of the territories to which Article 5 applies was revised by Article 2 of the Protocol to the North Atlantic Treaty on the accession of Greece and Turkey signed on 22 October 1951. On January 16, 1963, the North Atlantic Council noted that insofar as the former Algerian Departments of France were concerned, the relevant clauses of this Treaty had become inapplicable as from July 3, 1962. The Treaty came into force on 24 August 1949, after the deposition of the ratifications of all signatory states. (As at May 2008 - see www.nato.int for the whole shooting match, so to speak.)

NB

Nota Bene. Abbreviation of the Latin expression commonly used to emphasise the importance of a statement, literally meaning 'observe well'. Or less politely and more amusingly, No Bullshit.

NEET

Not in Employment, Education or Training. During 2009 the number of UK under-25s in this category rose to above one million people. It seems strange that when so much needs doing there are so many people not doing anything, and the authorities are incapable of matching one with the other (especially given so many managers out of work not doing anything either).

NFL

Normal For Londoners. (ODSA). Flexible and disparaging reference to a group of people deemed to be less intelligent or capable than those using the term. The third word is widely substituted for other areas, towns and cities (for example NFN = Normal for Norfolk, NFS = Normal For Selby, and NFF = Normal For Fife). Beware potential discrimination litigation hazards, ie., nationalities are not recommended for third words. The acronym potentially extends to corporate, organisational and inter-departmental rivalries, whereby third word options include: management, marketing, salesmen, engineers, officers, solicitors, accountants, etc.

NICAM

Near-Instantaneously Companded Audio Multiplex. I bet you never knew that.... A great one for quizzes and smart aleks. 'Companded' is a technical compound word made from 'compressed' and 'expanded', like modem and codec, also featured on this page. (Ack KBS, and D Harte for further details). Alternatively and sardonically employed by some sound reproduction purists to mean Not Intended to Carry Any Music (Ack P Kirkpatrick).

NIGY

Now I've Got You. An acronym specifically relating to Transactional Analysis 'games', however, the term is widely applicable beyond this, eg, uncovering deceipt or duplicity, solving a problem, mastering a new skill, etc.

NIGHTMARE

Negative, Ignorant, Greedy, Hopeless, Thankless, Miserable, Angry, Rude, Envious. A bacronym which can be used alongside the aspirational DREAM aconym model. The 'NIGHTMARE' characteristics enable discussion of their implications as human traits, notably when exhibited by 'role-models' in the media and news, etc. This leads to exploring the opposite positive meanings of the traits, in terms of a moral/life code and philosophy, and the notion of transforming nightmarish tendencies and expectations into aspirational ones, given that such attitudes are usually a matter of personal choice. For example:

• Negative (instead - be positive - 'always look on the bright side')

• Ignorant (instead - seek knowledge and wisdom, and people will seek you)

• Greedy (instead - give rather than take - karma - what goes around comes around)

• Hopeless (instead have hope - dream - imagine who you can be and how you'd want to be remembered)

• Thankless (instead be grateful - appreciate life - we are blessed compared to most of the world)

• Miserable (instead be happy - spread smiles - be fun to be with)

• Angry (instead, tolerance and patience are very powerful habits in life)

• Rude (instead be kind and considerate to others - 'do as you would be done by')

• Envious (instead, strive to be someone others look up to - envy nothing and no-one - be your own person)

Note: In this context the word 'hopeless' means lacking hope and aspiration, not 'useless'.

(Thanks M Dorgan)

NIMBY

Not In My Back-Yard. Term given to a person or group having the audacity to complain about a nuclear waste recycling plant or high security prison being built close to their homes. Gave rise to the term 'nimbyism' which is generally used by people to criticise others who are behaving in exactly the same way as would those making nimbyism accusations, were they to find themselves in similar circumstances (this type of person known as a PIGINIMBY - Phew I'm Glad It's Not In My Back-Yard). See also BANANA.

NINJA

No Income, No Job or Assets. A relatively recent acronym which achieved prominence during the summer 2007 'sub-prime' loans crisis, in which banks and financial markets questioned (for a day or two anyway) the wisdom of lending too much money to people who would be unlikely to be able to make the repayments, especially when interest rates rose. (Ack S Gilbert) The term 'sub-prime' is a banking euphemism for dodgy, risky, unethical, idiotic, short-sighted, reckless, irresponsible, etc., (delete as applicable). The leaders of the big corporate banks don't actually really care if the loans are risky and irresponsible because their corporations are expert at laying off these debts elsewhere, and ultimately are effectively immune from even the most extraordinarily high levels of self-inflicted bad debts, because the losses can always be recovered from their millions of other fee-paying customers who are far too passive and trusting for their own good. You will gather that I am not a great fan of the big banks, and I enjoy very much the following question and answer: What do you call twenty 20 bankers at the bottom of the sea?......... A good start. I am sure there are one or two ethical corporate bankers out there who have experienced feelings of human kindness and consideration at some time in their lives - if only towards their wives and children, or maybe as infants themselves prior to suffering their own desperate childhood sadness and neglect as tends to produce a fixation on greed and exploitating others - but they are a rare breed indeed. "A power has risen up in the government greater than the people themselves, consisting of many and various and powerful interests, combined into one mass, and held together by the cohesive power of the vast surplus in the banks." In essence nothing much has changed - other than the situation has gone global - since the American politician John Calhoun made this observation in 1936. The banks - and other similarly large and greedy industries (oil, construction, defence notably) - hold the well-being of our world, and the testicles of our politicians, in their hands. God help us all.

NKDA

No Known Drug Allergies. (ODSA). Nursing and healthcre staff acronym, alternatively the abbreviation is used to mean Not Known, Didn't Ask. (ack ET)

NLP

Neuro-Linguistic Programming. A modern scientific model for communication and self-development. See the NLP section for more information. 'Neuro' refers to the way your brain and senses, interprets and process your experiences. 'Linguistic' refers to the interpretation of experience through language. 'Programming' refers to and implies your actual or potential ability to affect your mind's control over your behaviour and language, and thereby to 'program' yourself.

NOCD

Not Our Class Dear. Upper-class, snobbish, derogatory term for something of unacceptable quality. See NTD and PLU.

NORWICH

(k)Nickers Off Ready When I Come Home. As featured on countless thousands of wartime envelopes from the front-line, to sweethearts back home. It's a wonder that the silent K survived in the word .... Still, 'KORWICH' doesn't have quite the same ring. (See ITALY, SWALK and HOLLAND). NORWICH is also a bacronym for Name One Reason Why I Came Here, used notably by opposing football club fans visiting the city (thanks I Walters).

NONCE

Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise. A slang prison word for a sex offender, derived supposedly from the term chalked above a culprit's cell door by prison officers, meaning that the prisoner should be kept apart from others for his own safety. Alternatively the acronym came after the word, which was derived as a shortening of 'a little bit of nonsense' being a prison euphemism for the particular offence.

NOONG

Not One Of Nature's Gentlemen. Excellent term for covert customer service communications. Sarcastic acronym referring to a rude man, as used by various customer-facing roles, eg, nurses, waitresses, call-centre staff, etc.

NQR

Not Quite Right. (ODSA) Nurses' shorthand acronym to describe a patient in such condition. An abbreviation applicable the problems we all encounter which defy reliable analysis, and so it's transferable to pretty well all situations beyond the medical world. (Ack Charli)

NTD

Not Top Drawer. Upper-class people's expression refering to something of less than acceptable quality. See NOCD and PLU for other snobbish code.

NSFW

Not Safe For Work. Acronym to warn others (or remind oneself) that the information or content being sent, recommended or revealed is on the wrong side of political correctness or decency, and is liable to adversely affect career progression or even job retention, especially dodgy emails, websites. The acronym is of course transferable to a variety of other high risk behaviours or revelations, for example, certain fashion statements and haircuts; certain stories about your weekend exploits; revealing weird personal facts or accomplishments such as drunken tattoos or body piercings, possessing a huge collection of belly-button fur-balls, etc. The expression has also been applied to people themselves. (Ack C Purdom)

NTBR

Not To Be Resuscitated. In hospitals in the past one occasionally saw NTBR on patients' notes (thanks G Philp), presumably when life/value expectations were at a low level, and before ambulance chasing lawyers began earning money from medicine and ethics. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not believe that such a note, rightly or wrongly, would be seen in modern times in the UK. As a follow-up to this (thanks I Walters) in the US, and so conceivably elsewhere in the world, where a very sick person's 'living will' dictates, the acronym DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) may be written on the patient's chart or notes.

NTSC

National Television System Committee. Although the video and TV abbreviation is widely used, the meaning and origins are not commonly known. The abbreviation refers to colour television standard developed in the USA decades ago, and still used all over the world, despite its propensity to 'colour drift' (whereby the colour reference signal wanders off-frequency). This tendency gave rise to the amusing alternative derogatory meaning given to the abbreviation (allegedly by boffins at the BBC): Never Twice the Same Colour. (Ack D Harte) See also SECAM and PAL acronyms.

NVQ

National Vocational Qualification. NVQ's are of course a significant presence in UK training and development. Some people love them, others loathe them. To help understand why this is look at the notes relating to multiple intelligence types and learning styles, also Kolb's learning styles, and the big section on personality types and models. NVQ's are wonderful for very many people: Several million certificates have been awarded since NVQ's were first introduced in 1986 by the then NCVQ (National Council for Vocational Qualifications - incidentally, since 1997 and as at 2006, NVQ's now come under QCA, the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority). But NVQ's don't suit everyone, (kinesthetic learners for example) particularly if delivery and assessment methods make no allowance for folk who not naturally inclined to the structured and strongly administrative bias that NVQ accreditation typically demands. (More explanation about NVQ's will soon appear on this site.) Of the people who are not overly impressed with NVQ's, especially if they happen to feel a little enviously or resentfully towards other people's NVQ achievements, the NVQ acronym has been known (ack O Golamaully) to be interpreted instead to mean Not Very Qualified, which is of course very unfair and is not to be recommended at all - even if the proud new owner of an NVQ level 1 in Paint-Balling is parading it around the office like a Harvard doctorate. (I don't believe there is actually an NVQ in Paint-Balling yet, which is a pity...)

NYDN

Not Yet Diagnosed - Nervous. British Army Doctor's shorthand from the First World War, used on medical reports of soldiers suffering from shell-shock. Prior to official recognition of the condition, the term GAK (God Only Knows) was used. By December 1916 more than 17,000 British troops were officially diagnosed as suffering from nervous or mental disability (we'd say shell-shock or post-traumatic stress disorder these days), despite which the British military authorities continued to charge and convict sufferers with cowardice and desertion, and sentence to death by firing squad many of those found 'guilty'. In all, between 1914 and 1918, 346 British soldiers (including Commonwealth soldiers serving with the British army) were shot by firing squad. Over 300 of these men received the death sentence for what amounted to being incapable of fighting due to shell-shock and mental illness. The firing squads typically were made up from their own reluctant comrades. Most of the victims were very young men - some even less than the official recruiting age. Many had previously distinguished themselves for many months or years in the most savage conditions ever experienced in warfare. Few if any of the convicted men had proper representation at their 'trials'. Most were informed of their fate a few hours before the execution, even though the decision to carry out their sentence had been made some days or weeks prior, thus appeals were effectively prevented. Relatives were rarely informed prior to the execution and afterwards were refused access to any papers or details, incredibly because permission was required by the condemned man (difficult to believe, but true). Widows were denied normal pensions and rights, and many were ostracized by their communities. Other countries either did not shoot their own soldiers, or have long since issued full pardons, and in many cases have commemorated the victims. Only in 1989 did the British Government agree to release full details of the trials and the circumstances of the executions (on a rolling 75 year basis, so as to reduce the embarrassment and reaction). After decades of lobbying and campaigning by mostly ordinary people, on 16 August 2006, the British Government agreed to pardon 306 of these men (seemingly the number of British soldiers considered shot for 'cowardice' or 'desertion'), subject to ratification by Parliament, which came on 7 November 2006. It's a pity it took so long. The many government ministers who up until this time refused to do the right thing, and worse, who reinforced the 'guilt' of the victims and prolonged the suffering of their families, should search their own souls and learn from their failings. More about this subject is at the deeply disturbing website for the Shot At Dawn Campaign. More is also in the wonderful book 'The Thin Yellow Line' by William Moore, first published in 1974, revised in 1999, and still one of the most stirring accounts of institutional inhumanity and injustice that you will ever read. It took 90 years for this wrong to be reconciled. The story emphasises two things: first, that people in authority have a responsibility to behave with integrity; and second, that where people in authority fail to act with integrity, the persistence and determination of ordinary people will eventually force them to do so. See also the stories page for suggestions of how this all relates to ethics and responsibilities, and the related discussion ideas.

OAP

Over Anxious Person. (ODSA) Original doctors' shorthand seen on prescription notes, but applicable far more widely, and an alternative to the conventional Old Age Pensioner interpretation, which I predict will be deemed politcally incorrect within the next few years... OAP is might alternatively and mischievously be interpreted (thanks S McCarthy) to mean On Another Planet. Beware of ageism risks if relating this to the conventional meaning.

OBE

Other Buggers' Efforts. This alternative meaning probably began in the British Army (thanks M Jackson) where it was a jibe at senior officers said to have been awarded the OBE by virtue of their troops' work. The usage is transferable to commerce and other walks of life, although of course some OBE's are actually awarded to very worthy and deserving people. Incidentally OBE technically stands for Order of the British Empire, and in years gone by also carried the meaning One Button Exposed - a reference to a man's open trouser fly (thanks P&J and N Spargo).

OBASHI

Ownership, Business processes, Applications, Systems, Hardware, Infrastructure. A methodology, and related aspect of Business Process Modelling, for mapping and developing how IT systems relate to organisational operations and enterprise, and optimising perfromance as a result. (Apparently devised in 2001 by UK consultants Fergus Cloughley and Paul Wallis.)

OCEAN

Openness to experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion/introversion, Agreeableness, Neuroticism. The 'Big Five' personality dimensions, by which modern day psychologists believe every person's personality and behaviour tendencies can be measured. Interestingly, between 30% and 50% of the variation between people's measurements in these characteristics are attributable to genetics (ie., 'nature' - inherited genes from ancestors and specifically parents), and the remainder to environmental factors (ie., 'nurture' - the way we have been brought up and our experiences). This means that in terms of the 'nature versus nurture' debate, on average 'nurture' factors have more influence over our personality than 'nature'. That said, certain character traits are more likely to be caused by inherited (nature) than others, and extremely subtle differences exist, for example, propensity to hold serious religious belief is more likely to be genetic (nature) than propensity to have strong political attitudes, and propensity to drink coffee or alcohol is more likely to be genetic (nature) than propensity to smoke tobacco. (Source: Nature Versus Nurture by Matt Ridley)

ODSA

Original Doctors' Shorthand Acronym. There are lots of them, first used by GP's, consultants, nurses and other healthcare staff as secret coded comments about the patient. These dark and wonderful acronyms are now available for us all to use and enjoy, as most of them are applicable far beyond the medical world. 'ODSAs' are marked as such throughout this archive. (Ack Dr Phil Hammond for many)

OGRO

O Great Responsible One. Sardonic acronym for committee chair-people, project leaders, department managers, etc., who have delusions of grandeur or difficulties delegating and sharing with their teams. (Ack PS)

OHP

Over-Head Projector. These days a much under-rated piece of equipment, like a pencil and paper, and a flip-chart.

OINKY

One Income, No Kids Yet. Amusing demographics acronym from the dating industry.

OP

Oscillating Plumbism. 'Swinging the lead'. Very cleverly sarcastic medical note referring to a patient deemed to be 'swinging the lead' - meaning that the patient's sickness or injury is not genuine, he/she merely has an aversion to work. A plumb is a ball of lead - see swing the lead. (Thanks to the person who sent me this.)

ORCHID

One Recent Child, Heavily In Debt. These people are at Maslow Hierarchy of Needs level 3, so don't try appealing to their level 4 needs. See Maslow.

OSINTOT

Oh Shit I Never Thought Of That. Rarely admitted but often thought. Osintot (thanks KT) arises especially in the context of planning and project management of all sorts. The best demonstrations of the Osintot principle are generally provided by leaders and politicians who believe they are somehow immune from its risks, or similarly protected or excused by their chosen god.

PAC

Parent, Adult, Child. The three alter-ego states defined in Eric Berne's theory of Transactional Analysis. See the Transactional Analysis pages on this site.

PAFO

Pissed And Fell Over. Healthcare acronym. Applicable in other situations, e.g., excessive indulgence at corporate hospitality events, conferences, weddings, etc. See also FDGB.

PAL

Phase Alternate Line. Television standard embraced and popularised by the BBC (not actually 'developed by the BBC', as previously stated here - see note below), as a more stable (self-correcting) technology than NTSC for handling the colour-carrier TV signal, by inverting its 'phase' on every line as the picture is drawn down the screen, (thanks DH). See also SECAM. In the television context PAL has also been given the alternative ironic meaning Pale and Lifeless (thanks R Blunden), and additionally Paid for Added Luxury, which is a reference to the (then) extra cost of the 'delay line' required to make the PAL receiver work, (thanks Mike). Also, unrelated to TV technology, PAL more generally stands for Price/Availability List.

PAL footnote (kindly sent by Jim McDonald): "...PAL, or sometimes Peace At Last, was developed by a German, Walter Bruch, at Telefunken. In essence he adapted NTSC to a 625-by-50 scanning system, and came up with an elegant (if slightly pricey) fix for NTSC's sensitivity to phase distortion. I never had the honor of meeting Mr Bruch, but know people who have and reported him to be a fine person as well as a dedicated engineer, and it is fitting he be credited. Incidentally, SECAM actually predated PAL, in concept at least. It was developed by Henri de France and patented in 1958, 4 years before the PAL patent was awarded to Bruch." (Ack Jim McDonald)

PANIC

Pressured And Not In Control. Descriptive and useful acronym for all sorts of situations. A reminder also that pressure alone does not produce panic - it's whether you can control it. (Ack G Christie-MacAllan)

PAY

Prioritise Activities by Yield. The principle of 'working smart'. The word 'yield' means the result or productive effect of an action or activity. In life and business it's helpful to focus your efforts on tasks and activities that will give the highest return on your efforts. Identify and then work on things that will produce the best yield in your chosen area. When you plan how to spend your time, plan to spend it on efforts that will produce the highest yield according to whatever you are trying to achieve, be that business results, profit, etc, or any other desired impact, effect, benefit, greater good, etc. See also MILE and MOFMOF, and the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80:20 Rule. (Thanks S Billbess)

PBP

Proctodynia By Proxy. (ODSA) Highly amusing healthcare abbreviation to describe a condition suffered by clinical staff. Proctodynia is the medical term for rectal pain, so a patient/colleague who is very demanding/unreasonable is a pain in the backside for the other staff, causing them PBP. The PBP expression is therefore extremely transferable to all types of work, relationship and service situations. (ack ET)

PCMCIA

People Can't Memorise Computer Industry Acronyms. Far more amusing and useful alternative abbreviation than the normal IT industry interpretation, which for the record is: Personal Computer Memory Card Interface Adapter. (Ack A Fourie)

PDA

Public Display of Affection. Courtesy of Prince Andrew, Duke of York, as quoted in a press interview, circa early 2000, as part of an explanation as to why he can't hug his children. (During his formative years - nor now for that matter - PDA was not the done-thing in the royal household.) PDA is actually very good for the soul, whether you're a royal or not. Try it, you'll like it, and so will the recipient. Alternative meaning - Personal Digital Assistant (a small electronic personal organiser) - which is not nearly so interesting.

PDK

Polyester Double-Knit. A derogatory term for someone who is out of fashion, from USA 1980s campus society.

PDQ

Pretty Damn Quick. Or Pretty Darned Quick. Simple and often effective abbreviation, for accelerating and prioritising projects, activities, requests, etc., actually from the late 1800s. (Thanks MR for reminder)

PEARL

Pupils Equal And Reacting To Light. Original nurses' shorthand, and a sardonic form of MEGO. A good presenter should never hesitate to subject a bored seminar delegate to the PEARL test. See also PERRLA below.

PEBCAK

Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard. One of the great modern acronyms. Usage not restricted to the computer operators - apply to any situation where the human element contributes the weakest link. (ack Don Clark) See also PICNIC, UBAD, DISFOB, and the ID 10 T code.

PEP

Paternalistic, Economic, Participative. The three main motivational styles found in organizations and management.

PERRLA

Pupils Equal, Round, Reactive to Light and Accommodate to distance. Technically fuller version of PEARL above, used by nurses and doctors on patients notes.

PERT

Program/Programme Evaluation and Review Technique. PERT is a specialised project management method. It is also referred to as Project Evaluation and Review Technique. In a more general and less technical context it might also be called Performance Evaluation and Review Technique. PERT is a specialised project management method, especially in project planning, in which its extensive diagrams enable a very detailed analysis of lots of related activities, especially the timings, implications and opportunities arising from connected events. PERT techniques were probably devised originally in the 1950s by the DuPont corporation (although some sources suggest the General Dynamics Corporation) as a cost/time analysis tool within the broader Critical Path Analysis project planning and management method (also referred to as Critical Path Method/Modelling). PERT was subsequently adopted by the US Navy and refined further, around 1958, supposedly for Polaris submarine development. PERT contains various standardized symbols within its diagram format. The method is not a trademarked or protected concept, although various proprietary systems and applications exist which make use of its principles. PERT remains closely related to Critical Path Analysis, for modelling effects in detail of large numbers of related timed events within a project. PERT is potentially helpful for big complex projects which have crucial deadlines, within which budgets may be more flexible than usual, and where there is a major need to exploit opportunities to shorten timescales by improving the integration of interdependent activities. PERT is a specialised tool within project management and so tends to be used alongside, or as a detailed feed into, broader project management methods.

PEST

Political, Economic, Social, Technological. Classic situational analysis headings, guaranteed to prompt nods of approval when used in business presentations. You may see 'Environmental' used instead of 'Economic' depending on the context. Either version is actually a very useful analysis and interpretation tool for business and marketing situations. PEST is sometimes extended to 'PESTELI' in which the headings: Ecological (or Environmental), Legislative (or Legal), and Industry Analysis are added. See the free PEST analysis template. See also 'SWOT'.

PhD

Pubic Hair Design/Piled Higher and Deeper. Wonderfully mischievous interpretations of the usual PhD meaning of academic excellence and qualification (thanks respectively T Early and L Sarriola). Incidentally the conventional version Doctor of Philosophy is from the literal Latin origin Philosophiae Doctor. The two less serious versions are normally used quite independently of each other in different situations, although together they do have a certain ring, if that's an acceptable word in this context, which it probably isn't.

PICNIC

Problem In Chair Not In Computer. Shorthand of IT technical support staff to describe 'confused' users. Sister acronym to PEBCAK (Ack D Chadwick) See also BDU, ID10T, UBAD, ESO, EBCAD, and DISFOB.

PIG

Pride, Integrity and Guts. A reverse acronym (see 'bacronyms') created, it is said, by police in the US as a positive interpretation of the common derogatory reference to their noble profession. There is a lesson here to us all, in always seeking ways to turn negatives into positives. We cannot control how others treat us, but we can certainly control how we respond. (Ack P Caron)

PIGINIMBY

Phew I'm Glad It's Not In My Back-Yard. A type of hypocrite who thinks they sit at the right hand of God, and loudly goes around accusing others of nimbyism (see NIMBY).

PIMS

Profit Impact of Marketing Strategy. Important reminder of the aim, just in case the marketing effort threatens to disappear up its own rear end.

PINS

Persons In Need of Supervision. From the educational and social care sectors. Quite an apt expression for emphasising responsibility and grown-up behaviour. For example, training session syndicate work when groups leave the watchful eye of the facilitator, or for positioning unsupervised tasks and assignments.

PIOTA

Pull It Outa The Air. Think of a number (or a word, or an answer...). For those situations when not a lot of thought is required, or is being exhibited, in trying to come up with an answer or start-point.

PISA

Permanent and Irrecoverable State of Alcoholism. (ODSA) Medical acronym used by doctors and healthcare staff to describe patients with serious drink-related problems. (Ack MP)

PITA

Pain In The Arse. US version typically is Pain In The Ass. Various uses. (Thanks S Reid)

PITSA

Person (or Passenger) Intoxicated Through Substance Abuse. Allegedly a London Underground tube system acronym used by certain staff to describe a member of the public found un-conscious or semi-conscious on station premises. The product of the victim's over-indulgence when present on the platform is known colloquially as a 'Platform Pizza', leading to occasional word play with the similarity in the sounds. (Ack A Butler)

PLMK

Please Let Me Know. An example of an abbreviation designed with the aim of saving time for the writer, but which often turns out to be a false economy when the reader doesn't understand the request. (Ack B Butcher)

PLOKTA

Press Lots Of Keys To Abort. Emergency IT acronym. Completely useless yet a widely practised computer trouble-shooting method.

PLU

People Like Us. Upper-class reference to describe others who have similar high-class aspirations and standards. See also NTD and NOCD for other semi-secret upper-class coded terms.

PNG

Persona Non-Grata. Abbreviation for the ageless Latin term for an unwelcome or disagreeable person, meaning literally 'person not pleasing'. (Ack ED)

POB

Passenger(s) On Board. Primarily a taxi-cab drivers expression used when reporting back to base that they've picked up a fare and have the customer(s) safely aboard (Ack MP). The acronym transfers extremely well to describe certain work teams, and to explain the importance of teamwork (ie., if a team is a 'POB' team, then it contains at least one 'passenger', not contributing as fully as they might be). Also a reminder for team leaders and facilitators of the importance of setting up work teams and syndicate groups for team-building games so that all members of the teams are engaged in the activity (see the team building activities guidelines).

POETS (day)

Push Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday. Polite version. Original rude version is Piss Off Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday. Work expression originating in the UK, possibly London, first recorded in the 1970s (Cassells) but likely to be earlier in actual use, referring to Friday. In the UK piss off means go away or leave, as well as annoy. Usage for example would be: "Where is everyone this afternoon?" ...... "Gone to the pub - it's Poets day." (Thanks R Brennan)

POHM

Prisoners Of Her/His Majesty. Acronym alleged by some to be the original meaning of the Australian term 'Pom' or 'Pommie' for English folk; (many early English settlers in Australia were deported criminals). Alternatively (ack Gerry) it is shown as POME, interpreted as Prisoner Of Mother England. In fact a common view among etymologists is that pom and pommie probably derived from pome meaning a fruit like apple or pear, and pomegranate (pomme of course is French for apple), and that POHM and POME are retrospectively-arrived-at acronyms, or 'bacronyms'.

POLO

Pants Off Legs Open. Teen mating terminology, apparently. I am not aware of this being used in medical or gynaecological circumstances, despite the obvious possibilities. If you know better please tell me.

POS

Point Of Sale. Retail term, being the physical point at which products are displayed on shelves or paid for at the checkout, as in the EPOS acronym.

POSH

Port Out Starboard Home. Again, not really a business acronym, but interesting. The derivation is supposed by many (erroneously probably) to relate to the detail printed on P&O tickets denoting the more expensive cabins on sailings from England to India. See POSH in the clichés origins section.

POSTAD TV

Priorities, Outcomes, Sequence, Timings, Attendees, Date, Time, Venue. Nothing to do with Eastern Bloc broadcasting, these are the essentials for a good meeting, and what must appear on the agenda. ('Outcomes' meaning required outcomes, ie discussion, decision, etc.)

POTUS

President Of The United States. Acronym used by Whitehouse staff. See also FLOFTUS.

PPC

Product Price Close. The ultimate simplification of the selling process. And yet many still fail to remember even these fundamental steps. (Ack M Booth)

P4 (PPPP)

Purpose, People, Planet, Probity (or Purity or Principles). Four cornerstones of sustainable success and a maxim for modern management and organisational philosophy. (Probity means honesty, uprightness - it's from the Latin word probus, meaning good). 'Purpose' is an apt replacement for 'Profit' and thus makes the acronym appropriate for use in not-for-profit organisations. Profit-focused corporations can of course substitute 'Profit' for 'Purpose'. More detailed explanation of the P4 model of modern leadership.




PPPP or The Four P's

Product, Price, Promotion, Place. The essential ingredients of the marketing mix, and the start of 75% of all marketing presentations.

4P (also PPPP)

Piss-Poor Prior Planning. Military abbreviation which spawned several variants, see PPPPPP, P6, P7, etc, below.

After an absence of many months, we are proud to present the return of the great Piss-Poor Performance chase...

PPPPPP (aka P6 - and more...)

Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance. Extension of the P4 military abbreviation, eminently transferable to business and life, particularly time management. (Ack AD) See also FUGAZI. Alternatively, and arguably more grammatically elegant (can planning be anything other than prior?...), Proper Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance, which inevitably opens the possibility of a P7 = Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance, or P7 = Prior Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance, which in turn suggests a P8 = Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance. P9 = Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Potentially Prevents Piss-Poor Performance, and in the context of training delivery, P10 = Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Potentially Prevents Piss-Poor Presentation and Performance (Ack S Thurlow). Alternatively and more politely P10 = Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes Perfect Performance Preventing Poor Production (Ack P Valee). Now things start to get a bit more serious...

P12: Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes Perfect Performance Preventing Piss Poor Production Processes (Ack M Verpalen).

P14: Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes Perfect Performance Preventing Piss Poor Production Processes and Plummeting Profits (Ack S Spaulding).

P15: Potentially, Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes Perfect Performance Preventing Piss Poor Production Processes and Plummeting Profits (Ack S Shaw).

P16: Potentially, Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes Perfect Pristine Performance Preventing Piss Poor Production Processes and Plummeting Profits (Ack Nick Fox). Sorry, this one has been down-rated I'm afraid from P17 to P16 due to removal of a repeated word..

P17: Potentially, Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes Perfect Pristine Performance Preventing Piss Poor Perfunctory Production Processes and Plummeting Profits (Ack Steve Cuff).

P19: Potentially, Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes and Predicates Perfect Pristine Positive Performance Preventing Piss Poor Production Processes and Perenially Plummeting Profits (Ack Nick Spargo)

P19: Proper Prior Planning and Purposeful Preparation Potentially Promotes Perfect, Pristine and Precise Performance Preventing, Primarily, Piss Poor Production Processes and Plummeting Profits (Ack Andrew McArthur, especially for grammatical assistance), these last three of which combine to produce...

P23: Proper Prior Planning and Purposeful Preparation Potentially Promotes and Predicates Perfect, Pristine, Positive and Precise Performance Preventing, Primarily, Piss Poor Perfunctory Production Processes and Perenially Plummeting Profits. (Ack AM, SC and NS)

P24: Persistent Proper Prior Planning and Purposeful Preparation Potentially Promotes and Predicates Perfect, Pristine, Positive and Precise Performance Preventing, Primarily, Piss Poor Perfunctory Production Processes and Perenially Plummeting Profits. (Ack M Andrews)

P26: Persistent Painstaking Proper Prior Planning and Purposeful Patient Preparation Potentially Promotes and Predicates Perfect, Pristine, Positive and Precise Performance Preventing, Primarily, Piss Poor Perfunctory Production Processes and Perenially Plummeting Profits. (Ack J Crowthers)

P27: Persistent Painstaking Proper Prior Planning and Purposeful Patient Preparation Potentially Promotes and Predicates Perfect, Pristine, Positive and Precise Performance Preventing, Primarily, Piss Poor Perfunctory Production Processes and Perenially Plummeting Profits, Period. (Ack S Vallely)

P29: Persistent Painstaking Proper Prior Planning and Purposeful Patient Preparation Potentially Promotes and Predicates Perfect, Pristine, Positive and Precise Performance Preventing, Primarily, Problematic, Piss Poor Perfunctory Production Processes and Perenially Plummeting Pre-tax Profits, Period. (Ack N Elliott)

The stakes are being raised...

P33: Perspicuous Persistent Painstaking Proper Prior Planning and Purposeful Patient Preparation Potentially Promotes and Predicates Perfect Pristine Perspective, and Positive and Precise Performance, Preventing, Primarily, Problematic, Pernicious Piss Poor Perfunctory Projects and Production Processes, and Perenially Plummeting Pre-tax Profits, Period. (Ack S Kanive and HSX382, combined)

P36: Perspicuous Persistent Painstaking Proper Prior Planning and Purposeful Patient Preparation Potentially Promotes and Predicates Perfect Pristine Perspective, Principally Presenting Positive and Precise Performance, Perhaps Preventing, Primarily, Problematic, Pernicious Piss Poor Perfunctory Projects and Production Processes, and Perennially Plummeting Pre-tax Profits, Period. (Ack S Thurlow)

P40 anyone?...... (Let me know.)

The 29 P's of surviving bird-flu..

Proper Prior Planning and Preparation Promotes Pandemic Preparedness, Preventing Piss Poor Performance, Pernicious Pestilence, Pervasive Public Panic, Probable Personal Petulance, Pulmonary Pathogens, Poor Patient Prognosis, Preventable Pain and Poohing your Pants when it all goes Pear-shaped. (Ack I Miller)

PRIC

Problem, Rectification, Investigation, Correction. Known as the corrective action loop. The essential four stages for good quality management practice, customer service development, quality of service, and general personal development. The main point is that rectifying the problem is only half the story; you need to ensure there is no recurrence.

PRIDE

Personal Responsibility In Delivering Excellence. A bit of an acronym cheat because 'for' would sound much better than 'in', but PRFDE doesn't have quite the same ring to it. (Courtesy Mr Bull, of the England Rugby Union national team coaching staff.)

PRINCE/PRINCE2

PRojects In Controlled Environments. As the UK Office of Government Commerce explains, the PRINCE methodology "...was first developed by the UK government in 1989 as the standard approach to IT project management for central government. Since then, the method has been enhanced (and named PRINCE2) to become a generic, best practice approach suitable for the management of all types of projects, and has a proven record outside both IT and government sectors. PRINCE2 has been widely adopted and adapted by both the public and private sectors and is now the UK's de facto standard for project management..." PRINCE2 aims to enable:

• consistency of approach

• control and organisation at all times

• regular reviews against plan

• continuing business justification

• flexible decision points

• management control of deviations

• appropriate and timely management and stakeholder involvement

• effective communications between project and all involved and affected

• identification of and learning from project lessons

• options for project management skills improvement for all staff

PURE

Previously Undiscovered Recruiting Error. A relatively recent new employee who is not quite working out as expected... Remember - it ain't their fault - it's the organisation which makes the decision to hire, not the candidate.. (Ack R Gesling)

QUALGO

Quasi Autonomous Local Government organization. Younger brother to QUANGO, and not nearly so famous.

QUANGO

QUasi Autonomous Non-Governmental Organization. Now also ironically and alternatively interpreted (ack AM) as Quite Unacceptable And Nasty Government Offshoot. Either way, the QUANGO acronym is now firmly established as a word in its own right. In generations to come, folk will muse over its origins and whether the wrestler of the same name (Johnny Kwango - phonetically the same that is), who used to polish his forehead with a towel before administering his trademark head-but, had anything to do with the term.

QED

Quod Erat Demonstrandum. The literal translation from the Latin is 'which (or what) was to be proved', and in this strict sense the expression has been used in physics and mathematics for centuries. However the QED expression has become more widely adopted in recent times generally meaning 'thus we have proved the proposition stated above as we were required to do', or perhaps put more simply, 'point proven'. Originally QED was used by Greek mathematician Euclid, c.300 BC, when he appended the letters to his geometric theorems. A modern ironic interpretation (thanks N Nasir) is Quite Easily Done.

QFD

Quality Function Deployment. Japanese quality and service development model.

RADAR

RAdio Detection And Ranging. One of the best known acronyms to have entered the language isn't a true acronym at all, but then RDAR doesn't trip off the tongue nearly so well. RADAR also represents the quality management assessment process used in connection with the European Quality Management Model: Results, Approach, Deployment, Assessment, Review.

RABADAD

Running A Business And Doing A Degree. Members of this kind of virtual club (otherwise known as SISA - self-inflicted social abstinence) will recognise the need for such a concept. (Thanks Jane Penson).

RAPC

Run Away People Coming. Properly RAPC stands for Royal Army Pay Corps. The mischievous alternative (thanks Malcolm Jackson) reflects the age-old tendency for soldiers close to the action to make fun of those further away from it. Similar dynamics are commonly exhibited and the subject of inter-departmental banter within commercial organizations too, for example between sales and administration functions.

RFI

Request For Information. Sales department shorthand. Special priority when use in conjunction with RFN (see below).

RFP

Request For Proposal. More sales department shorthand. Also high priority when accompanied by RFN (see above).

REME

Rough Engineering Made Easy. More convenionally the acronym stands for Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers. (Ack IB)

RHINO

Really Here In Name Only. An acronym for when we'd rather be somewhere else, and a reminder for us when arranging activities for others: people usually have other priorities, so respect and make the best possible use of other people's time. See also MEGO, LANO, PEARL.

RICE

Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation. Medical acronym for the treatment of certain leg and foot injuries. I've obviously revealed the meaning now, nevertheless wanted to share the elegant way this was sent to me, a lesson in humorous and succinct communication in its own right: "Following from reading your entry under ASDA, I sprained my ankle and was advised by my doctor to use rice. What, eat it or rub it in? Nope, apparently it's for Rest, Ice, Compression and Elevation..." (Thanks P Hallums) Two lines, made irresistible to the reader. The power of words and language is fascinating and amazing.

RISK

Reasonable? Identify, System, Knowlege. Devised cleverly (by Colin Pitman in 2009, thanks) as a quick checklist/process aid for managing risk in organizations and teaching in this area. The elements enable adaptation for local practices, for example:

• R - Is it reasonable to classify the issue(s) as a real risk?

• I - Assuming the risk is reasonable identify its nature, implications, avoidance, and remedial measures.

• S - Develop a system for this, or incorporate into existing risk systems (e.g., describe, assess, manage, evaluate.. 'DAME' - or alternative system according to local situation.)

• K - Ensure knowledge of the above is extended appropriately.

ROB

Rich Ordinary Briton. Demographic acronym, wealthy people who regard themselves as 'working class', according to the Future Foundation, accounting for 2.67m of the UK population (May 2006), and the top 20% according to monetary worth.

ROI

Return On Investment. Fundamantal measure of business performance (of a whole business, a part of a business, a business activity or decision - anything with a cost and attributable profit). See the explanation in the Financial Terms section.

ROMEO

Retired Old Men Eating Out. A simple acronym which helps tell a very big story. The acronym is commonly credited to Tom Brokaw in his 1998 book The Greatest Generation (Thanks G Thompson), although the term and the custom surrounding the concept of 'Retired Old Men Eating Out' (alternatively Rich or Respectable Old Men Eating Out, or Enjoying Outings) seems to pre-date this, indeed a growing 'Romeo Club' sub-culture exists in the US and is bound to increase and spread in one form or another everywhere given demographic projections (many people living longer, getting richer, and being more active and useful in later years). The big story lies in the social and economic implications of the Romeo phenomenon, which are actually considerable and potentially very positive, if ways can be found for rich/retired old men (and women) to help a little with the next and needy generations. This challenge of 'generational utilization' is now one of the greatest opportunities for humankind - whereby people can (must) achieve greater fulfilment in old age, while and through sharing wisdom, experience and maybe even a bit of wealth too with others where it's needed. Generational transfer of knowledge and help has always been significant in human evolution. Interestingly some assert that this effect (and benefit) was responsible for the evolution of the female menopause (women who lived longer because they could no longer bear children ensured improved survival of their descendents and therefore their genes). In modern times however humankind benefits not just by people living longer, but also by the better availability of knowledge and practical help - first through books, and now through the internet, which will (and must) provide progressively improving connections and inclusiveness for generational teaching and learning.

RORO

Roll On Roll Off. Originally and still a type of cross-channel ferry, whereby cars and trucks board one end and disembark at the other. Now more widely applied to any form of relatively indiscriminate and fast-turnaround no-nonsense high-volume human processing method (eg., NHS dentists, general practitioners, Spanish holiday tattoo parlours, etc.)

ROTFLA..

Rolling On The Floor Laughing And... Internet and texting abbreviation prefix with too many variations to mention here, aside from two of the better examples: ROTFLABIC = Rolling On The Floor Laughing And Biting Into Carpet, and ROTFLAPIMP = Rolling On The Floor Laughing And Peeing In My Pants.

RPM

Resale Price Maintenance. The UK Net Book Agreement, as was. Means by which retail prices are controlled by primary suppliers. (Alternatively, Revolutions Per Minute, as in engine speed and 78, 33 and 45 records. In years to come how many people will know that LP stood originally for Long Player?)

RSVP

Repondez S'il Vous Plait. Properly in French: Répondez s'il vous plaît - meaning 'please reply', RSVP is traditionally printed on invitations to weddings and parties, etc., as a request for the recipient to reply. Literally translated as 'reply if it you pleases', or more recognizably, 'reply please', since 's'il vous plait' has long meant 'please' in French, literally from the earlier full construction of 'if it pleases you'. See more about RSVP in the cliches origins page. (Thanks MK for raising RSVP, and thanks C Smith for spelling and diacritical corrections.)

RTFM

Read The Flipping Manual. Original computer-speak that has now established itself in everyday language and is used to point out the obvious solution to anyone complaining that they are unable to operate a modern-day appliance such as TV, burglar alarm, dishwasher, etc) using purely intuitive methods. (Thanks to L Lawrie and many others for pointing out this omission.)

RTQ2

Read The Question Twice. A very useful reminder for text-based exams of all sorts, notably multiple choice tests, to help avoid making silly mistakes when the answer is known but given incorrectly due to rushing and misreading the question. (Thanks D Ward)

RTFQ2

Read The Flipping Question Twice. Polite version of more emphatic twist on RTQ2, which is perhaps appropriate for folk who require telling twice. Where the answer is not known, no matter how many times you read the flipping question, the WAG tactic is a reasonable option. (Thanks A Wilkins)

RUB

Rich Urban Biker. Another amusing demographics social category acronym. See also GLAM, HOPEFUL, DINKY, ORCHID, etc

7S

Skills, Strategy, Structure, Style, Systems, Staff, Shared values. The McKinsey organizations's famous 7S model for organizational culture, analysis and development. The idea is that the first six S's combine to form the seventh: 'shared values' (Ack S Dockerill)

S2D2 (SSDD)

Same Stuff Different Day. Toned down version. This motto of the downtrodden has been around for decades. If your work really makes you feel this way then perhaps it's time to suggest a few changes or move on. We are all here on this Earth only once (depening on your religious outlook) - whatever, life is too short to waste it doing a job that you hate. And if you are managing people who feel S2D2 about their jobs then for goodness sake do someting about it. A free SSDD colour poster is available from the free businessballs posters page for anyone suffering in a S2D2 organisation and wishing to give a bit of free feedback to the hierarchy. And if you are a CEO and see a few SSDD posters appearing around the place then perhaps ask yourself why. It's not the people who are bad - it's the organisation, and that's down to you mate. The S2D2 mathematical acronym interpretation may well have first been suggested by author Tom Clancy (Ack V O'Grady and L D Gray) - if you know more please contact us.

SABENA

Such A Bad Experience, Never Again. This now widely applicable acronym was seemingly pioneered by Belgian people, referring, in English interestingly, to the Belgian Sabena airline company (which for the record was properly titled 'Societe Anonyme Belge d'Exploitation de la Navigation Aerienne'). See also DELTA. (Ack Anon and M) Other airline-based acronyms.

SABU

Self Adjusting Balls Up. The problem will work itself out (thanks F Lawton). The acronym reminds us that many crisis situations become less of a crisis given time and tolerance.

SADFAB

Single And Desperate For A Baby. Modern demographics acronym, reflecting changing times. The world is becoming a lonelier place seemingly.

SAL

Suburban Asset Lightweight. Demographic acronym, representing not so well-off people who regard themselves as 'middle class', according to the Future Foundation, accounting for 1.84m of the UK population (May 2006), and the bottom 20% according to monetary worth.

SATs

Stupid Ass Test(s). Ironic and wholly understandable misinterpretation of the many different possible 'correct' original meanings of the SAT/SATs acronym, referring to the controversial testing systems in school-children's education, US and UK, particularly so in the UK. In America the SAT testing system has been known by various full names, beginning with Scholastic Aptitude Test, changing later to Scholastic Assessment Test, and now (2009) seemingly called the SAT Reasoning Test, in which the actual meaning of the 'SAT' element seems no longer defined, and technically produces a full term containing the word 'Test' two times, for example 'Scholastic Assessment Test Reasoning Test', nonsense deliciously ironic given the context. In the UK the situation is even more confusing, both in terms of the meaning of the SAT acronym, and aptly, the meaning and value of the entire testing regime, which has done for a generation of British children what our great leaders have in the same period for world peace (see FUCT). No one seems to know why SATs are so called in the UK. Possible origins include Standard Assessment Tasks, Statutory Assessment Tests, Standard Attainment Tests, and Standard Assessment Tests, and any of the several US interpretations which perhaps provided the misguided inspiration for the wonderful UK notion that it is possible to improve something merely by measuring the hell out of it. Aside from all this, the abbreviation SAT has probably one of the longest lists of various possible different meanings of all TLAs. Other SAT acronyms may refer to, for example: Science And Technology - Sorry About That - Substance Abuse Treatment - Self-Assessment Test/Tool - Systems Approach to Training - Security Awareness Training - Site Acceptance Test/Testing (thanks DC, see also FAT) - Surgery, Anesthesiology and Trauma - Suspended Acoustic Tile - and many more. The lesson is to seek clarification whenever you see the acronym used, because it could mean just about anything.

SCART

Syndicat des Constructeurs d'Appareils Radiorécepteurs at Téléviseurs. It must be said that this acronym is here for interest rather than humour. It's a good quiz question, especially if you insist on the accents over the letter e's. It's also an example of an acronym entering everyday language whose origins are unknown by 99.99% of the population. A SCART cable or lead is of course the 21-pin device for linking TV and audio and video equipment, developed from the French standards group represented by the root words above. (Ack M Andrews)

SCUBA

Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus. Classic acronym now established as a word in the language, and another good acronym for quizzes, (ack KBS). A wonderful contribution from Tim Boyd suggests an amusing alternative SCUBA interpretation, from a diving instructor in Hawaii, who suggests that the 'real' meaning of SCUBA is Swimmer Comes Up Barely Alive, which is a lot more fun than the technical origin. The diving instructor apparently trades as 'Charlie Dolphun'. Anyone able to shed any light on his true identity for proper attribution please let me know.

SCRIM

Shape, Colour, Registration, Identifying features, Make & model. Acronym for identifying vehicles involved in incidents, used by UK forces and services staff.

SECAM

Systeme Electronique Couleur Avec Memoire. The French virtual-equivalent to the UK-originated PAL TV broadcast standard, alternatively and amusingly known as System Essentially Contrived (from the) American Method, or perhaps more fittingly as System Essentially Contrary (to the) American Method, both probably originating from early US TV engineers who developed the forerunning US NTSC standard. The notion that the SECAM system probably owes less to the Americans than to the British method is lost, since although 'Anglican Method' fits the acronym more accurately, it would have entirely different connotations.... (Ak DH and Mike)

SEP

Someone Else's Problem. Originally from Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy; now in wider use: eg., customer service applications, inter-departmental negotiations as to ownership of issues and follow-up, etc. (Ack P Resheph)

SHIT

Ship High In Transit. This is a hoax bacronym which somebody somewhere created a while ago around which is built a convoluted story supposedly but entirely wrongly claiming to account for the etymology of the 'shit' swear word. See the shit entry in the cliches and words origins page.

SHOT IT

Should Have Ordered This In Time. Customer services and despatch expression, especially appropriate approaching department close-down for weekends, holidays, Christmas, etc., and a personal reminder not to leave things until the last moment.

SIAM

Sexual Intercourse At Midnight. Acronym bedfellow, so to speak, of BURMA, (thanks A Sanderson). Completely unrelated to the acronym interpretation, Siam is now Thailand (since 1939), and was birthplace (and thereby terminology derivation) of the original Siamese twins Chang and Eng Bunker (1811-74), brothers joined at the chest and by a fused liver. Interestingly Chang and Eng remained joined until their death, which was within hours of each other; apparently Eng woke one morning to discover Chang had died in the night, and Eng died of shock as a result, after refusing to be separated. It's easy to write and read casually about this now, but can you imagine the traumatic scene? Very strange. More intriguingly they both married (two different women) and fathered respectively ten and eleven children. Seemingly after a few initial relationship problems they sustained their respective marriages by alternating joint attendance (excuse the pun) between their two homes (and wives) every three days. Perhaps fewer modern marriages would fail if more people tried this sort of arrangement.

SID

Standard IDiot test. A risk reduction technique vital to the process of producing good instructions and user manuals, etc., whereby a non-expert layperson is shown the (proposed) instructions for a particular operation, to check whether the instructions actually enable understanding of the task/procedure and achievement of the desired result. SID checks should for example be part of the development of instructions for flat pack furniture, computer systems, and increasingly complex household equipment like TVs. Ignoring the need for a SID check tends to result in lots of impossible treeswings, square-wheeled bikes, and very many frustrated users/customers. Standard Idiot Test obviously translates as SIT, but SID is a more fun. The acronym is also a useful analogy for any initiative which would benefit from practical testing instead of relying on theoretical assumption. (Thanks A Allen)

SINA

Safety Is No Accident. Acronym of the clever double-meaning maxim from USA industry for health and safety training and promotion. (Ack P Lock)

SINBAD

Single Income No Boyfriend And Desperate. Demographics acronym from the Bridget Jones era. (Ack. John)

SINOAP

Solution In Need Of A Problem. Acronym describing any pointlessly over-engineered gadget, system or service for which no real or meaningful demand exists: a sledgehammer to crack a nut, or a sales-centred approach to relationships. SINOAP represents push and persuade, rather than facilitate and enable; it reminds us of the importance of understanding and empathy. SINOAP is a also product or service designed from the supplier's perspective rather than from the customer's view. The acronym warns against inappropriate marketing or selling, where the proposition fits the supplier's or sales-person's needs (for profit, sales quota, commission, etc) but not the needs of the potential customer. (ack J Tallon)

SISO

Sign In Sod Off. An acronym said to be used by certain British MEPs (Members of the European Parliament) in referring to their £180 daily attendance expenses allowance system. If true this is indeed nice work if you can get it, although the likelihood is that most MEPs and MPs are good people doing a good job. I would welcome clarification, confirmation, or denial of this slur on the integrity of those who presume to represent us. Aside from the MEP rumour, SISO is an excellent illustration of the attitude displayed by certain people (often in fortunate positions) who are more interested in what they can take from work than give to it. The uproar over UK parliamentary expenses (May 2009) demonstrates well that usually chickens one day come home to roost, and that whether such behaviour is human nature, within the rules, or largely a fuss created by schadenfreude-obsessed media - there is usually a personal price to pay for a monetary or material gain which has been extracted in less than wholly ethical ways. Karma - or we might say, the natural inevitable law of cause and effect - bites yer bum.

SITCOM

Single Income Two Children Oppressive Mortgage. For consumer customer profiling, Maslow Hierarchy of Needs examples, etc. Sitcom, meaning situation comedy, is in itself a 'made-up' portmanteau word (ack Noor). Alternatively SITCOM might be interpreted more desperately as Single Income Three Children 0 Money (thanks B Gardiner).

SKI-ing

Spending the Kids' Inheritance. Antidote acronym to KIPPERS. (Ack JW)

SLA

Service Level Agreement. A remarkably simple and effective mechanism for ensuring good working or trading relationships, typically between customer and supplier, but also between departments, partners or any parties co-operating to achieve a consistent result. A Service Level Agreement establishes mutually understood and acceptable expectations between two or more parties, for instance, quotation request response times; breakdown service response time; chargeable and non-chargeable support items. SLA's are useful also in establishing co-operation between departments, in order to maintain quality, efficiency and supply chain or order flow service quality, for instance complaint escalation timescales; survey requests; pricing requests, anything where one party expects something of another. There is no limit to the number of SLA's that can be established, although recording and publishing them in a sensible format are essential or they won't be observed. (SLA also stands for Strategic Link Analysis, the process which measures a website's search engine rating by virtue of the number and type of links to it from other websites.) See also trading agreements and templates.

SLEPT

Social, Legal, Economic, Political, Technological. 'SLEPT analysis' is a business review method similar to PEST or SWOT for assessing factors enabling or obstructing the business's performance, and typically its development potential.

SMART

Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic, Time-bound. If you're setting a standard, or an objective for yourself, or agreeing an objective with another person, the task or standard must meet these criteria to be effective. See for example the SMART planner template, for which more detailed explanation exists on the delegation page. Other interpretations of the SMART acronym exist, for example Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound. The version which includes 'agreed' is arguably more powerful because this represents the emotional contract with whomever is expected to meet the objective or standard. The SMARTER version below is more powerful and relevant for the moden world because it includes the essential philosophical aspect. Avoid interpretations that include both Achievable and Realistic because the words effectly mean the same so is a waste of a word. (See the Smartie Hunt team building game and MMM acronym.) See the different SMART and SMARTER posters on the posters page.

SMARTER

Specific, Measurable, Agreed, Realistic, Time-bound, Ethical, Recorded. The deluxe version of the SMART acronym, a blueprint for all objectives and responsibilities, especially delegation, for oneself or when agreeing objectives, tasks and projects with others. Traditional interpretations of the SMARTER acronym use 'Exciting' or 'Enjoyable' instead of 'Ethical', but in a delegation context, let's face it, it is not always possible to ensure that all delegated work is 'exciting' for the recipient. Whereas the 'Ethical' aspect is fundamentally important for everything that we do, assuming you subscribe to such philosophy. See the different SMART and SMARTER posters on the posters page.

SMOP

Simple Matter Of Programming. SMOP (acknowledgements to D Hall) is typically used in an IT or ITC context, but the principle extends widely: SMOP is a deserved dig at those who make commitments while ignoring the implications (workload) arising for other people. For example when a project manager casually tells a customer "Oh, that's just a Simple Matter Of Programming," when in fact the commitment entails considerable work for the programmer, who has not even been consulted and must then somehow absorb the additional work into normal hours. SMOP is a more impactful acronym than the full OTJASMOP (Oh, That's Just A Simple Matter Of Programming), although the long version does have a certain ring to it if you can remember it. SMOP - or OTJASMOP - is also a common tendency among sales people (or those acting in that role, like interfering CEOs), who, eager to clinch a deal or to satisfy a complaint, make promises which cause a lot of extra work for someone else in the delivery team which is not budgeted or recoverable. In such cases SMOP might be adapted - and can serve as an excellent illustration of negligence and poor decision-making in communications, management, etc., for example:

• SMOR - "Oh that's just a Simple Matter Of Re-engineering/Re-design/Re-wording/etc.."

• SMOP - "Oh that's just a Simple Matter Of Process/Production/Procedure/etc.."

• SMOD - "Oh that's just a Simple Matter Of Definition/Delivery/Distribution/Discipline/etc.."

• SMOCTS - "Oh that's just a Simple Matter Of Changing The Specification/Schedule/.."

• SMOCAFS - "Oh that's just a Simple Matter Of Cracking A Few Skulls.." (the autocrat's maxim)

• SMOPWAFF - "Oh that's just a Simple Matter Of Playing With A Few Figures.." (the banker's maxim)

SNAFU

Situation Normal - All Fouled Up. Obviously this is the more polite version, included here because of its historical interest. The acronym is from the second world war, when widely used by the Americans forces, and incidentally later used as name by 1970s UK rock band, SNAFU, obviously (incidentally the 1970s band was British not American as previously stated here - thanks for correction M Reynolds). SNAFU Remains a widely used description by front-line staff of an incompetent management. See the wonderful wall picture showing the SNAFU and AEOBE acronyms.

SNAG

Sensitive New-Age Guy. Demographics acronym and dating term.

SNERT

Snot-Nosed Egotistical Rude Teenager. Demographics acronym of sorts.

SOAR/SOARR

Situation, Opportunity, Action, Result, (Reflect). Action-based mnemonic with sound principles. Apparently favoured by the Royal Mail. (Ack M Andrews)

SOB

Shortness Of Breath. (ODSA) Commonly used medical acronym when writing patient histories. The abbreviation is occasionally doubled-up for amusing effect to describe a particularly obnoxious patient with the complaint, ie., SOB - SOB. (SOB alternatively and perhaps more conventionally means Son Of a Bitch.) (Ack DC)

SOGI

Senior Officer's Good Idea. Sardonic and amusing acronym from the military and emergency services. (See also WAGII - thanks Mick Whelan)

SOHO

Small Office/Home Office. Acronym expression for the 'virtual office' environment and characteristics found in self-employed and small businesses, that are increasingly prevalent in the modern business age.

SONAR

SOund NAvigation and Ranging. The SONAR acronym, which typically describes anti-submarine underwater detection technology, originated as an American term in World War II. The SONAR acronym, a natural sister expression to RADAR (neither is strictly a true acronym, more an abbreviation) like RADAR entered the language as a word in its own right many years ago. The British equivalent of SONAR, was ASDICS, which stood for Anti-Submarine Detection Investigation Committee. It is easy to see why the SONAR version was preferred.

SONTTAP

Say Only Nice Things To All People. Devised originally for school-children, this acronym touches on a fundamental principle for peace of mind and a happy fulfilled life. See particularly The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz (agreement 1 - Be impeccable with your word), also links to Buddhism, NLP, etc. (Ack Anstey Latimer School)

SOS

Save Our Souls. The international 'Mayday' radio distress call for help, which was originally transmitted in morse code by mariners in peril and otherwise endangered folk. For interest here is the Mayday word origin.

SOSTAC®

Situation analysis, Objectives, Strategy, Tactics, Action, Control. SOSTAC® is a business marketing planning system developed by writer and speaker PR Smith in the 1990s. A summary of the SOSTAC® model is here. Contrary to popular thinking, SOSTAC® is a protected trademark owned by the originator PR Smith, whom you can find at prsmith.org. As with any protected intellectual property the use of SOSTAC® methods and materials in the provision of training and development is likely to be subject to licensing conditions. If in doubt ask the IP owner. (ack PR Smith and T Rowe)

SPC

Statistical Process Control. Forerunning quality theory from the 1960s to TQC and TQM.

SPEW

Single Person Evaluation Worksheet. A timesheet, in other words. Sarcastic term for a list of activities and times, etc., that you have to submit to justify your existence within an organisation. (Ack R Oakley)

SPIN®

Situation, Problem, Implication, Need. One of the most enduring selling acronyms, developed by Neil Rackham during the 1970s-80s; the SPIN® Selling model is still a mainstay of his Huthwaite International training organization. The SPIN® selling process remains an extremely useful method for sales discussion with a prospective customer. Huthwaite actually say 'Need-payoff' instead of 'Need', but 'SPINP' just doesn't have the same cachet..... Incidentally, please note that the copyright rights in Neil Rackham's book, SPIN Selling, are owned by Huthwaite, Inc., (huthwaite.com). Depending upon the geographic territory, the rights in the trademarks SPIN® and SPIN SELLING® are owned by either Huthwaite Inc of the US, or Huthwaite International of the UK. Be advised that SPIN® and SPIN SELLING® methods and materials are not to be used in the provision of training and development products and services without a licence.

SPOF

Single Point Of Failure. A useful quality/reliability term, or aid to teaching project management and planning, etc., referring to a crucially isolated person or process step which were he/she/it to fail then disaster would inevitably follow. A reminder that any important process should contain checks so that no single point of failure exists. (Thanks C Davis)

SPOH

Safe Pair Of Hands. Describes trustworthy people and organizations, especially when valuable and important responsibilities are being delegated or awarded. Very modern business-speak, much loved by men in suits who use terms like 'a big win' (a new contract) and 'leverage' (being able to exploit a situation or aspect of strategy for advantage).

SQ3R

Survey, Question, Read, Recall, Review. Impossible to pronounce, but nevertheless a great discipline for the learning-through-reading process. It basically means quickly Survey the whole thing (ie look but not in detail), next note down your Question areas, then Read it in detail, Recall your questions and Review the material you've read. (Ack. Don Clark)

STEPPPA

Subject, Target, Emotion, Perception, Plan, Pace, Adapt/Act. The STEPPPA acronym represents a coaching (notably life-coaching in a business context) model devised and advocated by expert coach Angus McLeod, which is now central to much UK formal accredited life-coaching training. Based partly on NLP (Neuro-Linguistic programming) principles, the STEPPPA process entails:

• Subject - validate the subject (the issue or matter) for the person being coached (coachee).

• Target - validate or help to establish the specific target (or goal) of the coachee - called target identification.

• Emotion - ensure emotion is addressed and resolved relating to the coachee, the issue, and the target, which if appropriate should be re-evaluated.

• Perception - widen the perception and choice in the mind of the coachee.

• Plan - help the coachee establish a clear plan (process with steps, not choices).

• Pace - include pace (timescale and milestones) in the plan - (the two elements of plan and pace can be combined, and are sometimes expressed as P2).

• Adapt or Act - review plan, adapt if necessary, before committing to act on the plan (equating to action).

(N.B. STEPPPA is sometimes wrongly shown as STEPPA, reflecting the combination of the Plan and Pace elements. I am grateful for the confirmation from Angus McLeod Associates that STEPPPA is the correct form.)

ST FAGOS

Sod This For A Game Of Soldiers. Saint Fagos - the Patron Saint of thankless tasks. When you next hear someone utter the oath, 'For the love of St Fagos...', while struggling with a pointless report or piece of daft analysis, you will know what they mean. Also St Fagoc - conkers instead of soldiers... (Ack T Beecroft) A suggested origin of the 'game of soldiers' phrase (ack R Brookman) is as an old English and slang name for the game of darts, seemingly used in Yorkshire. See sod this for a game of soldiers in the cliches origins page. If you know more or better about the origin of this phrase please tell me.

STIO/SIO

SupraTentorial in Origin. Nurses' and Doctors' healthcare acronym. Supratentorial means above the neck, so the acronym is a covert way to say that the illness is all in the imagination. (Ack LR)

STM

Skill, Task, Measure. The classic process for developing skills in people: identify the Skill, agree a Task for the trainee to perform that will involve using the skill, and then Measure the performance, ie the trainee's command of the skill.

SUCCESS

Sense of direction, Understanding, Courage, Charity, Esteem, Self-confidence, Self-acceptance. Wonderful acronym devised by American plastic surgeon, writer, and advocate of cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz (1899-1975), who asserted that these listed qualities feature in the attitudes and thinking of successful personalities. Maltz was intrigued that many of his patients achieved increased self-esteem following plastic surgery to correct a significant bodily defect, whereas other people's feelings of inferiority persisted despite improvement to their physical being. Maltz explained his ideas in his 1960 book Psycho-Cybernetics.

SUMO

Shut Up Move On. Now a trademark associated with motivational speaker and author Paul McGee ('The SUMO Guy'), the SUMO acronym is a powerful maxim for a positive successful approach to life and work. SUMO has strong connections with the Transactional Analysis and NLP principles of self-reliance, emotional maturity, and focus on future not blame. See also FIDO.

SVM

Silicon Valley Management. Modern management style pioneered by David Packard and William Hewlett, HP founders, and other successful US companies based in the area of California known as Silicon Valley (so called after the silicon chips, central to the computer industries) including principles such as MBWA (Management By Walking Around), MBO's (Management By Objectives) and Open Door Policy/Management. See also MBWA.

SWMBO ('swambo')

She Who Must Be Obeyed. The theoretical partner acronym HWMBO has for some reason never really caught on... (Ack. D Pagett)

SWAG

Scientific Wild Arsed Guess. This is ideal for those situations when someone can't bring themselves to come up with an opening estimate, even though they're the best placed person to do so. Great for encouraging technical/detailed/finisher people who might be uncomfortable with the vagueness of the start of the creative process. WAG = shortened less scientific form. (Ack. Don Clark)

SWALK

Sealed With A Loving Kiss. A kind of wartime envelope text message to a loved one. (See also HOLLAND, EGYPT, CHIP, ITALY and NORWICH)

SWAN

Sell What's Available Now. Sales acronym from 1970s or perhaps earlier, the purpose of which is to encourage and remind sales staff to sell products or services which the sales company has within its range (or current stock), rather than selling solutions (or raising customer expectations for them) which do not actually yet exist, or are out of stock. (Thanks C Cassidy)

SWOT

Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats. Famous marketing analysis headings acronym, and actually a very useful framework for interpreting and explaining business situations. See the free SWOT analysis template and examples, and free SWOT exercise team building game. See also the PEST acronym. Use either or both in business presentations to impress and convince your audience that you know a bit about marketing.

TAPES

Technique And Practice (or Pressure) Equals Skill. Technique alone is not enough. Application of a new technique in a practice or pressure situation is required to turn the technique into a skill and then improve it.

TANSTAAFL

There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch. A double negative, but who cares - it's a great acronym. For anyone who needs reminding of the realities of the business world. (Ack Dr Neale Roney.) For detail of the origin of TANSTAAFL see the entry in the cliches origins section.

TARDIS

Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. Dr Who's company car, so to speak. I can confirm that it is 'Dimensions' not 'Dimension'. This begs the follow-up question as to whether the Dimensions are relative to each other or to time, or to both, or to something entirely different. Apparently this is complicated, as one would expect. Essentially it means (probably) that the Dimensions In Space are relative to each other, and perhaps also this refers to the fact that the TARDIS time machine was a lot bigger on the inside than the outside - because the inside and outside were in different spatial dimensions (thanks S &D Hiscoke). I welcome further speculation about this just as much as unequivocal confirmation. Please feel free to get in touch.

TATT

Tired All The Time. (ODSA). Great for dead products, over-used ideas, lazy employees, old dogmas and philosophies, the list goes on....

TAWSUTA

That's Another Week Shot Up the Arse. For fatalists and weekend lovers, an elegant and amusing alternative to POETS day. I should clarify that's lovers of weekends, not lovers who get together at the weekend. (Thanks D Hornby)

TBL (or 3BL)

Triple Bottom Line. The modern criteria for sustainable organisational and business success: the Triple Bottom Line - Profit, People, Planet. TBL (or 3BL) is fast becoming a highly significant and influential factor in the success of businesses and organisations. While the robustness of '3BL accounting' principles are still subject to much debate, there is no doubt that customers and staff are increasingly aware, and expect ever more, in terms of corporate responsibility and all that it extends to: business ethics, social and community responsibility, environmental sustainability, fair trade, etc. Organisations which understand and incorporate TBL principles into their fabric and behaviour are therefore more likely to thrive and grow, assuming staff and customers continue to assess and make decisions about supplirs and employers from a 'triple bottom line' perspective.

T-CUP

Total Control Under Pressure. Acronym to emphasise the need for concentration and focus, alternatively interpreted as Think Correctly Under Pressure, or Thinking Clearly Under Pressure, which according to interviews are versions used by the England rugby coaching staff, notably during their 2003 Rugby World Cup success.

TEAM

Together Everyone Achieves More. A simple truth, and a great acronym for training and team building. (Ack C Keeble) Alternatively Teach Everyone About Motivation. (Ack M Andrews)

TEETH

Tried Everything Else?..Try Homeopathy. Another ODSA, but perfectly admissable outside the medical arena, such as counselling or stress training. Also good for sales and marketing campaigns that never seem to work.

TED

Tell me, Explain to me, Describe to me.. Selling and communications (specifically questioning) acronym reminding sales people to ask customers open questions, which gather helpful information about the customer's requirements and needs. Open questions typically begin with what, how, which, when, who, why, and the TED phrases, and are used for gather information and building rapport (which is dependent on good listening). Closed questions, which generally prompt yes or no answers, typically begin with phrases such as: Is it..?, Do you..?, Have you..?, Are they..?, etc., and are used for filtering (determining the relevance or 'fit' of customer/offering) and for closing (for example, 'Would you like to go ahead...?') and for gaining commitment ('Do you the xyz aspect...?') and for clarification ('Do you mean in the next week or the next month...?). Sales people (and many other professional communicators) often use closed questions when they should be using open questions, and so TED is a very useful reminder. The TED questions, which for politeness can be prefaced with the words 'Can you please...' are especially effective when questioning senior capable people who are happy and comfortable to speak at length in giving a long explanation to a very short question. See questioning on the sales training page. See empathy also, for help with listening and building rapport and trust, and for diffusing conflict. (Thanks C Cassidy for TED)

TEPID

Tastes Expensive, Pension Inadequate, Dammit. Alternative to HOPEFUL.

TESOL

Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages. At first glance this acronym is only of use if you are involved in teaching English as a foreign language. There are other applications however, for example, to emphasise the need for technicians and bureaucrats to use plain English in writing technical manuals and instructions for users. Aternatively (ack LC) TEFL = Teaching English as a Foreign Language.

TGIF

Thank God It's Friday. (Ack E Swietlik) Polite and probably US version of the English 'POETS day' expression, and later adopted as a brand name for the TGI-Friday's American themed restaurant-bar chain founded in New York in 1965. TGIF also prompted the crude adaptation 'TFI Friday' name of Chris Evans' boundary-breaking 1990s UK Friday evening TV show.

THICK

Those Having Insufficient Cerebral Kinesis. Amusing, esoteric, and utterly non-politically correct term. If using this it's as well to understand exatly what it means to avoid being undone by someone bold enough to demand a proper explanation, so: in this context kinesis means broadly 'body activity', from the root Greek kinein, meaning to move. Cerebral of course relates to the brain and thinking, from Greek kara, meaning head, and later Latin cerebrum, meaning brain. (Ack F Guertler)

TIC

Taken Into Consideration. As found in legal margins. (Also Tongue In Cheek - a device for reducing the risks associated with using humour or sarcasm. Ack H Niklaus.)

TIP

Theory Into Practice. General call-to-action acronym. A good mnemonic for end-of-training or meetings, when responsibilities and accountabilities need to be attached to ideas and plans, with commitment to implementation and timescales. (Ack LW). See also the suggested origin of 'Tip' meaning 'gratuity' in the cliches origins page.

TINA

There Is No Alternative. For that extra bit of emphasis - interestingly attributed to Baroness Margaret Thatcher.

TLA

Three Letter Acronym. Of course.

TLR

Two-Legged Rat. Healthcare acronym referring a little unsympathetically to a patient undergoing treatment of an experimental or desperate nature.

TLAR

That Looks About Right. The TLAR standards - recognised all around the world - amusing and very important sounding Quality Assurance Standard acronym, ideal for giving humourous emphasis to sorts of issues relating to quality management and customer service. (Ack KH)

TMI

Three Meaningless Initials. Antidote to the TLA. Also 'Too Much Information'. (Ack M P)

TNT

Thanks, but No Thanks. Shorthand for the rejection letter pile, for unsuccesful job applicants, inappropriate sales propositions, or anything worthy of polite refusal (Ack S Parkes). In the world of chemical explosives TNT of course stands for Trinitrotoluene, which is neither memorable nor easily pronouncable until (like lots of things) you break it down into recognizable chunks: Tri-Nitro-Toluene. And now it's easy. See BID.

TOBASH

Take Out Back And SHoot. (ODSA) Superb nurses abbreviation shorthand for the worst patients. Commonly and covertly used in Los Angeles, and no doubt elsewhere. (Ack KT)

TOIS

Task Oriented Instructional System. The basis of experiential learning and training - as in 'I do and I understand' (see the Confucius quotation). Use in conjuntion with TAPES. The Task provides the Pressure element which when applied to the Technique produces Skill. (Ack. Don Clark)

TOTBAL

There Ought To Be A Law.... Sounds like it should be a TV game show. Cliche-based acronym and a good basis for discussions and exercises - see team building games.

TOTB (thus TOTBoxer and TOTBoxing)

Think Outside The Box/Thinking Outside The Box. A TOTBoxer is a person who thinks outside the box - i.e., very creatively. TOTBoxing is thinking outside the box. Cleverer than a straightforward TOTB acronym, the expression elegantly describes a creative thinker, or the creative act. (Devised and contributed by Janet Disney, thanks. First published here on 8 Jan 2009.)

TPT

Trailer Park Trash. Derogatory US reference to unsophisticated folk supposed to inhabit static caravan sites, especially in the Southern USA. The term became popular in the 1990s and (according to Cassells) derives from the 1800s black American slang 'White Trash' referring to white people considered socially dysfunctional, burdensome, ill-educated, etc. Trailer Park Trash and the shorter Trailer Trash expressions equate in some ways to the UK slang Chav, notably in that the slang increasingly describes people of a certain lifestyle or behaviour rather than according to a social class or where they live.

TPTB

The Powers That Be. Typically referring to autocratic managers or bosses at work, extending to all other figures of authority, especially those too arrogant or important to be seen by or talk face-to-face with the people under their control, (thanks DC). If you are one of TPTB ask yourself why people refer to you as this and how you might become more like a human being. Alternatively The People To Blame (an expression which can arise in anyone's vocabulary in moments of weakness) and Too Poor To Be... (whatever, which is a very neat way to sum up the inevitability of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and the fact that motivation at desperate levels tends to be determined by circumstances).

TQC

Total Quality Control. Forerunning theory from the 1970s to TQM, and successor to SPC..

TQM

Total Quality Management. Most people believe that the Japanese TQM philosophy, if not all the products, was home-grown in Japan. Not so. A little known fact is that the two American gurus, Juran and Edwards-Deming, taught the Japanese all they know about Total Quality Management in the 1950s. To the Japanese, they are both still revered as industrial icons.

TQMS

Total Quality Management System. Extension of TQM, describing the system by which a company manages Total Quality. Allegedly when the Lockheed Aircraft company introduced their own Total Quality Management System some years ago their engineers devised an alternative meaning - Time to Quit and Move to Seattle (home of competitor Boeing). (Ack SG)

TRIP

Transaction, Relationship, Information, Partnership. The sequential development of a successful customer-supplier co-operation.

TSSBAT (tissbat)

The Student Should Be Able To... This is a terrific acronym for emphasising and agreeing expectations of responsibility, capability, action plans, objectives, etc.; any situation where responsibility or knowledge is needs to be confirmed. (Ack. LW)

TTFN

Ta Ta For Now. In other words, see you later, or 'bye for now. TTFN became strongly associated with (along with BFN - 'bye for now) the daytime BBC radio DJ Jimmy Young who said it every day at the end of his shows in the 1960s, but TTFN originated in the BBC radio show It's That Man Again (known as ITMA), a popular 1940s weekly comedy launched in 1939 featuring Liverpool comedian Tommy Handley. TTFN was a catchphrase of Mrs Mopp the office char, played by Dorothy Summers. Ta-Ta meaning goodbye is first recorded in use as a nursery expression in 1837. (Thanks H Sinclair-Hyde for alerting me to this omission in the list, and to R Farley for pointing me towards the ITMA origin.)

TTS and CCC

Teams, Tools, Systems and Culture, Communication, Commitment. The hard and soft elements of the Total Quality Management model. Every quality company has these things in place.

TUBE

Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination. (ODSA). Allegedly seen occasionally on patients medical notes. Not recommended for use in any circumstances whatsoever. See the similarly disturbing BBSS. (Thanks P Gover)

TUPE

Transfer of Undertakings for Protection of Employment. The UK's TUPE regulations are employment legislation which dictate proper process and employer's obligations regarding the transfer of staff from one employer to another, for example in the case of transfer of staff to an outsourced (contracted out) services supplier. Employers transferring out and transferring in staff should ensure they understand these laws, especially before concluding negotiations about the sale, purchase or transfer of business interests.

TWAIN

Technology Without An Interesting Name. 'TWAIN' is the de facto compliance interface standard for scanning devices, and the name of the group formed in 1992 (by vendors such as Adobe, Ricoh, Xerox and Kodak) with the purpose of developing and promoting the 'TWAIN Initiative'. TWAIN actually originated as as a metaphorical name - not an acronym - based on literal meaning of twain, which is 'two' or 'two things'. Inspiration for this came from the opening line of Rudyard Kipling's 1889 poem, Ballad Of East And West: "Oh, East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet." Considering that the technology is concerned with connecting two functions - that of driver and application - this seems perfectly logical. However, the clever folks at TWAIN decided to use the word in upper case (apparently to improve its distinctiveness), which contributed first to the belief that is was an acronym, and next to a competition to create an acronym root phrase retrospectively from the word (sponsored by who or what I don't know), with the result that many now believe the word came from the acronym and not vice-versa. The TWAIN group iteself acknowledges that the expression continues to haunt the standard. Incidentally the next lines of the poem are:

"...Till Earth and Sky stand presently at God's great Judgment Seat;

But there is neither East nor West, Border, nor Breed, nor Birth,

When two strong men stand face to face, tho' they come from the ends of the earth!"

(Ack. M Rosling)

TWOC

Taking Without Owner's Consent. Legal and police acronym describing theft of some sort. This gives rise also to the use of the word in slang verb form: 'twoc' meaning to steal, or more euphemistically, to fail to return something borrowed. For example: "Did you buy that rather fetching hotel bathrobe or do you twoc it?....."

UBI

Unexplained Beer Injury. (ODSA) Drunk, with injuries of unknown origin. Acronym from Nova Scotia orthopaedics nursing, and widely applicable elsewhere. (Ack KP)

UFLA

Unidentified Four Letter Acronym. Companion acronym to UTLA.

UMBRO

yoU Must Be Really Old. Acronym remarking that someone's choice of attire or other tell-tale behaviour gives their age away; for example, mobile phones over a year old, wearing a coat in the winter, cooking fresh vegetables, phoning instead of emailing, never having heard of myspace.com, using a pen and notepad, walking anywhere, etc. (Ack P&J)

UNIVAC

Unusually Nasty Infection; Vultures Are Circling. (ODSA) Wonderful dark humour self-explanatory healthcare acronym from orthopaedic nursing in Nova Scotia, Canada. (Ack KP)

UPB

Unique Perceived Benefit. Your USP from the customer's perspective. What your USP means to your customer, which is a very different way of approaching selling than from the traditional angle of seller-oriented USPs. It's essential to discuss your offering in these terms with your customer. The UPB acronym and concept was developed by The Marketing Guild, who specialise in practical, innovative, and effective sales and marketing.

USP

Unique Selling Point (or Proposition). You can't be very successful in any business unless you have at least one USP, that is to say - you've got to be doing something that nobody else is doing.

UTLA

Unidentified Three Letter Acronym. More interesting than the straight TLA. See also UFLA above.

VEST

Very Egotistical Stupid Twit. Slightly toned down interpretation. Socialising/Dating terminology. Transfers easily to other environments, including work situations. Typically applicable to the male of the species, and especially applicable when subject is wearing said garment.

VIBE

Visual Book Enhancement. Visual Book Enhancement is video-based content to support or illustrate text-based material, for example a DVD with a book, or conceivably a video file within an online text-based tutorial. A simple powerful concept that (as at the early 2000s) we've not begun to see exploited widely yet, but surely will. This neat acronym cleverly conveys its meaning in the word since a VIBE adds sensory information to text. Older readers will recall that the word vibe was 1960s slang for atmosphere or feeling, derived from the word vibration. The acronym VIBE is however a very modern acronym from and for the digital age - rather like cartoon illustrations have been used traditionally to support text instructions or details, so video enables a wider sensory experience. I first heard the term VIBE used by Jackie Stewart in November 2007 when referring to his autobigraphy, Winning is not Enough, which contains a 'VIBE' - a DVD - to augment the words on the pages. If anyone knows who coined the VIBE acronym originally please tell me.

VIOT

Village Idiot On Tour. Informal acronym used by London Transport staff to describe certain types of visitor to London, particularly those struggling to comprehend the Underground system and blaming everyone but themselves for their confusion. (Ack A Butler)

VIP

Visually Impaired Person. Semi-official acronym used by London Transport referring to a blind or partially sighted person needing assistance. A fitting customer service variation on the traditional 'Very Important Person' meaning. (Ack AB) See also MIP.

WAFI

Wind Assisted Flaming Idiot. This interpretation is obviously the polite version. Essentially a maritime term, but actually transferable to anyone who blusters and blunders about, having no regard for the safety of others, and no control of the forces that they seek to dominate. The acronym originates (Ack E Creswick) from the UK Coast Guard, RNLI (Royal National Lifeboat Institution) and other maritime agencies, who use WAFI in marine VHF messages to describe an incident or potential incident at sea in which lives are at risk, usually due to the actions of an idiot in charge of a small sailboat getting into difficulty or causing trouble to others. The WAFI expression is however far more potent and meaningful when applied to certain leaders of governments and large corporations who embark on or maintain activities and policies which recklessly and arrogantly endanger and undermine people's well-being and safety everywhere. The WAFI leader is a sad phenomenon of the modern age that will come to an end when ordinary people use their collective power to change things.

WAG

Wild Arsed Guess/Wild Assed Guess. Shortened form of SWAG, and earlier in the creative process - even before the project makes it onto the cigarette packet or napkin. (Ack. Don Clark) WAG is not to be confused with WAGs, meaning 'Wives And Girlfriends', as seemingly first concocted by the UK tabloid press with reference to the partners of England's footballers at the 2006 World Cup in Germany.

WAGII

What A Good Idea If... Sardonic term from the armed forces, but eminently transferable and just as effective in describing any daft instruction from the idiots above. (Ack. Mick Whelan)

WAGNER

Wild Assed Guess, Not Easily Refuted. Extension of the SWAG and WAG acronyms. Perhaps based ironically and unfairly on the admirable Wagner Free Institute of the US which provides the oldest free adult education programme in America, as well as a huge library and information service covering scientific history. The acronym more likely originated as a means of poking fun at those who habitually quoted the Wagner Institute as a 'source' for statistics and research information. (Ack D Maguire)

WALOC

What A Load Of Crap. Multiple use acronym. Fascinatingly, the meaning is almost entirely conveyed phonetically in the abbreviation, such is the way many people, speaking lazily or fast, would pronounce the phrase, ie., " wa' lo' cra' ".

WANF

Wet Arse No Fish. Acronym to describe one of those days when you've planned to do all sorts of things and yet not managed to achieve any. (Ack A Humphreys)

WASP

White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. The first and original demographics acronym? As featured in countless American police chase movies when the good guys are rushing out the description of the bad guys in the first frantic APB. WASP is alternatively and amusingly interpreted (thanks S McCarthy) to mean Women Are Superior People.

WDIS

Where Do I Sign? An acronym said to be from 1980s Wall Street (New York's financial centre) used by brokers when referring to investors who fail to scrutinize what/whom they are investing in. The WDIS effect is the major factor in any large-scale financial scandal, at the top of which is an idiot or a crook, followed by lots of people who ask too few questions.

WHY

What Have You. Alternative to 'etc'.

WIFE

Wash Iron Fornicate Etc. Polite version. Alpha-males might not necessarily appreciate the supreme ironic quality of this acronym.

WIIFM

What's In It For Me? The essential element of all successful communications and organisational initiatives, and the principle of persuasion and influence. If there's nothing in it for the other person, they may hear but they won't really listen, and without the WIIFM factor they'll never commit to action. An example of the WIIFM factor in selling: Airman Peters was assigned to the Air Force induction training centre to explain and sell the Air Force Life Insurance to new conscripts. The office manager noticed that amazingly Peters' success rate was close on 100%, so he decided to listen to Peters' technique. After outlining the insurance policy basics to the new recruits, Peters was heard to say: "If you're killed in action and have the Air Force Insurance, the government has to pay £500,000 to your beneficiaries, whereas if you don't have the insurance, compensation is just the statutory £15,000." Peters paused, and then finished with the WIIFM line, "So which group do you think they are going to send into action first?..."

WINDOWS

Will Install Needless Data On Whole System. Classic ironic 'backronym'. Perhaps a little unfair, but need we say more?...

WIOFYFS

Work It Out For Your Flipping Self. Polite version. WIOFYFS is actually a wonderful maxim for developing personal self-reliance and for organisations who want their people to be self-reliant and always growing. Why wait for someone else to give you the answers if you can work it out yourself? Today's organisations need to encourage their people to take initiative, and modern managers need to support people in doing so, even if mistakes are made. (See the guides to delegating and the Tannenbum & Schmidt model relating to developing teams). See also GAAFOFY. WIOFYFS was allegedly (Ack Rob Carr) originated by a touring rugby team for tour T-shirt slogan. For a free WIOFYFS colour poster see the free businessballs posters page.

WLOG

Without Loss Of Generality. Mathematical term, and applicable more generally, to justify the use of an isolated case in proving an issue, when the need for wider evidence is not required or is irrelevant and would be a waste of time. (Thanks E Key)

WOFTAM

Waste Of Flipping Time And Money. Originated in the Australian Army and now deservedly in wider use. Eg, "I have to work the weekend on the latest company WOFTAM project." (Ack L Speden)

WOMBAT

Waste Of Money, Brains And Time. Another great acronym from down-under. Ideal for project management commentaries, certain corporate re-branding schemes, the latest government training initiative, etc. (Ack D Martin) The WOMBAT acronym is alternatively interpreted into meaning Women - Over Men, Beer And Television, a term used by women and men to describe a certain type of man who prioritises his fondness for women over and above the stereotypical 'bloke' pursuits. (Ack M Christiansen)

WOOF

Well Off Older Folk. Also referred to as WOOFs; A variant of WOOP below.

WOOP

Well Off Older Person. Also known as Woopie (as in Yuppie) The new focus of so many modern advertising campaigns. See GLAM, and WOOF above.

WOTCHA

Wonderful Old Thing Considering His/Her Age. Patronising alternative to HOPEFUL and TEPID.

WRAP

Wind, Reel And Print. Now used to denote the completion of any project ('it's a wrap'), this is supposedly originally a movie-makers' term, used when filming is completed.

XTLA

eXtended Three-Letter Acronym. Amusing ironic enhancement of TLA. Basically XTLA can mean any acronym of four or more letters. (Thanks P Gover)

XYZ

eXamine Your Zipper. Amusingly neat and discreet way to tell someone when his trouser fly is open. (Thanks Carmen)

WYSBYGI

What You See Before You Get It. Excellent variation on the ubiquitous WYSIWYG. Ideal for presenting concepts to stupid boards of directors, who don't understand the creative process (like the true story about the director of a $multi-million company who complained that a concept advertisement layout was full of gobbledegook. It was of course the random text that designers use instead of copy before the real stuff is written. True I assure you.) (Ack. Don Clark)

WYSIWYG

What You See Is What You Get. If you've accessed this archive via the Internet you'll probably know this one already, as WYSIWYG is now common computer jargon, although not always true. Nevertheless, this famous acronym has applications just about everywhere, and is an excellent reminder of the importance of visualising outcomes in order to achieve results. Contrast the planned, measured WYSIWYG approach to IKIWISI above.

WYGIWYD

What You Get Is What You Deserve. A maxim for life and personal responsibility: you get out what you put in - you reap what you sow. WYGIWYD is also a great reminder that people are more likely to perform to their fullest potential when they are given fair reward and recognition. Also relevant for project planning and all matters of investing in people, development, plant and equipment, etc: if you want good results then invest properly and act with integrity. WYGIWYD also emphasises the importance of communicating fully and properly with people whom you expect to produce results of any sort: internal and external staff and suppliers, designers, programmers, writers, etc. A free WYGIWYD poster is available from the businessballs free posters page. (thanks L Speden for the acronym)

YAHOO

You Always Have Other Options. While this is ostensibly a corporation backronym, this particular interpretation provides a wonderful mnemonic and aid for training and coaching - to encourage others to 'think outside of the box' and to visualise new directions and goals. The 'Eureka!' feel of the YAHOO word of course adds to the effect of liberating and lifting one's limits. For the other more ordinary corporation-oriented YAHOO backronyms see the corporation backronyms list.)

YAVIS

Young, Attractive, Verbal, Intelligent, Successful. Another demographic acronym.

YOYO

You're On Your Own. Obvious and wide-ranging uses, particularly for those moments when someone's digging a hole for themselves or trying to flog a dead horse. Also a great partner acronym for JFDI, to reinforce the notion of self-determination and self-reliance. (Ack. Don Clark)

YUPPIE

Young Upwardly-mobile Professional. Alternatively 'Young Urban Professional'. Perhaps the best known acronym-derived demographic term ever to have entered common parlance, but not strictly a full proper acronym. Should really be YUMP, which in some ways resonates more amusingly than YUPPIE, but would it have caught on?...... (Seemingly 'Young, Upwardly-Mobile Professionals' were originally called YUMPIES - but the term was quickly superseded by YUPPIES, which was alternatively defined as 'young urban professionals'. As is a factor in much of the development of language and expressions, the -y or -ie endings were added for greater euphony - ie., to make the words sound more pleasing to the ear - like the plural DINKIES (as an extension of DINK) to which incidentally restrospectively the 'yet' was added to make it DINKY. Ack JW)

If you have your own suggestions for this acronym finder please send them via the contact us page.


lifestyle and demographics profiles acronyms listing

Here in one section are all the lifestyle and demographics profiles acronyms that feature in the dictionary above. These amusing and occasionally less-than-PC acronyms and abbreviations are an increasing presence in our language. The expressions reflect social change and also changing attitudes to certain lifestyles and values. If you have examples of other lifestyle and demographics acronyms please send them. For fuller descriptions and contributors where applicable see the entries as they appear above.

BURP

Bankrupt Unemployed Rejected Person. See Maslow.

CHAV

Council Housed And Violent. Made-up 'bacronym', not the actual origin. See entry in main listing.

DIMWIT

Dual Income Mortgage We're In Trouble.

DINKY

Double Income No Kids Yet.

GLAM

Greying, Leisured, Affluent, Married.

GOFER

Genial Old Farts Enjoying Retirement. Alternative meaning in similar context is Genial Old Fisherman Enjoying Recreation.

HEW

High Earning Worker.

HOPEFUL

Hard-up Old Person Expecting Full Useful Life.

KIPPERS

Kids In Parents' Pockets Eroding Retirement Savings.

LOMBARD

Loads Of Money But A Real Donut.

LIFER

Lazy Ignorant Fool Expecting Retirement.

MUPPIE

Middle-aged Urban Professional.

NINJA

No Income, No Job or Assets.

OINKY

One Income, No Kids Yet.

ORCHID

One Recent Child, Heavily In Debt.

RABADAD

Running A Business And Doing A Degree.

ROB

Rich Ordinary Briton.

ROMEO

Retired/Rich/Respectable Old Men Eating Out/Enjoying Outings.

RUB

Rich Urban Biker.

SADFAB

Single And Desperate For A Baby.

SAL

Suburban Asset Lightweight.

SINBAD

Single Income No Boyfriend And Desperate.

SITCOM

Single Income Two Children Oppressive Mortgage.

SKI-ing

Spending the Kids' Inheritance.

SNAG

Sensitive New-Age Guy.

SNERT

Snot-Nosed Egostical Rude Teenager.

TEPID

Tastes Expensive, Pension Inadequate, Dammit.

VEST

Very Egotistical Stupid Twit.

WASP

White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.

WOOF

Well Off Older Folk.

WOOP

Well Off Older Person.

WOTCHA

Wonderful Old Thing Considering His/Her Age.

YUPPIE

Young Upwardly-mobile Professional.


healthcare acronyms listing

Here in one section are all the healthcare acronyms featured in the dictionary above. These outrageous acronyms and abbreviations (identified in the dictionary listing above by the term ODSA, which stands for Original Doctors Shorthand Acronym) are used - allegedly - in various parts of the world by certain doctors, GP's, consultants, nurses and other healthcare staff on patients' notes or in verbal references. Of course the use of most of these terms is not encouraged - they're here as amusing and interesting examples of modern communications, language adaptation, the use of dark humour to help deal with life's upsets, of customer service attitudes, and particularly these acronyms serve to demonstrate the importance of humour in stressful occupations. If you have examples of others please send them.

For further descriptions and contributors see the entries as they appear above in the fuller listing.

AOX3

Alert, Oriented times 3 (person, place, time).

AEIOU DDD

Apoplexy, Epilepsy, Injury, Opium or other drugs, Uraemia, Dead Drunk and Diabetes. (Healthcare mnemonic to aid memory of possible causes of unconsciousness.)

AFOL

All Fine On Leaving.

AGA

Acute Gravity Attack. (Patient fell over)

ASDA

Age, Site, Depth, Area. (Emergency burns assessment methodology - see entry in main listing.)

AVPU

Alert, Voice, Pain, Unresponsive. (First aiders training acronym used in casualty assessment, relating to a victim's level of response - see AVPU detail in main listing)

AWOL

All Well On Leaving.

AWTF

Away With The Fairies.

BBSS or B2S2

Big Boobs, See Soon. (Appalling obviously, and a bit scary too.)

BUNDY

But Unfortunately Not Dead Yet. (See also TF-BUNDY in the listing above under the BUNDY entry)

BVA

Breathing Valuable Air.

BWS

Beached Whale Syndrome.

CNA

Cleaning Nasty Arses. (alternative to usual meaning: Certified Nurses Assistant)

CTD

Circling the Drain/Close To Death.

DTS

Danger To Shipping.

DRT

Dead Right There.

DRTTTT

Dead Right There, There, There, and There.

ERCP

Endoscopic Retrograde Cholangio-Pancreatoscopy. Alternatively, if a newly admitted patient dies suddenly before they have been examined ('clerked') by the ward doctor, the 'admission' notes may be written up post-mortem (after they should have been, in other words), in which case the acronym takes on a more mischievous interpretation: Emergency Retrograde Clerking of Patient.

FAS

Fat And Stupid.

FDGB

Fall Down Go Boom.

FLK

Funny Looking Kid.

FLKFLP

Funny Looking Kid, Funny Looking Parents.

FOOSH

Fall On Out-Stretched Hand.

FRACS

Fornicates Regularly And Chain Smokes.

GAK

God Alone Knows.

GBC

General Body Crumble.

GLM

Good Looking Mum.

GOK

God Only Knows.

GOMER

Get Out of My Emergency Room.

GPO

Good for Parts Only.

GROLIES

Guardian Reader Of Limited Intelligence, Ethnic Skirt.

HIVI

Husband Is Village Idiot.

MAAH

Mad As A Hatter.

NAD

Nothing Abnormal Discovered/Detected. (NAD is alternatively often used when superiors ask for the results of tests that no-one thought to order, in which case it means Not Actually Done.....)

NFL

Normal For Londoners. (And variations on the same theme, eg, NFN = Normal for Norfolk)

NKDA

No Known Drug Allergies. Alternatively the abbreviation is used to mean Not Known, Didn't Ask.

NOONG

Not One Of Nature's Gentlemen.

NQR

Not Quite Right.

NYDN

Not Yet Diagnosed - Nervous.

OAP

Over Anxious Person.

OP

Oscillating Plumbism. Swinging the Lead.

PBP

Proctodynia By Proxy. (A pain in the backside...)

PEARL

Pupils Equal And Reacting To Light.

PAFO

Pissed And Fell Over.

PERRLA

Pupils Equal, Round, Reactive to Light and Accommodate to distance.

PISA

Permanent and Irrecoverable State of Alcoholism.

RICE

Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation. (For the treatment of certain leg and foot injuries.)

SOB

Shortness Of Breath.

STIO/SIO

SupraTentorial in Origin. (Imagined - supratentorial means 'above the neck'.)

TATT

Tired All The Time.

TEETH

Tried Everything Else?..Try Homeopathy.

TLR

Two-Legged Rat. (A patient undergoing extreme/experimental treatment)

TOBASH

Take Out Back And SHoot.

TUBE

Totally Unnecessary Breast Examination.

UBI

Unexplained Beer Injury.

UNIVAC

Unusually Nasty Infection; Vultures Are Circling.


Contributors of these acronyms are acknowledged in the detailed entries in the main acronyms section. If you have examples of other healthcare acronyms please send them.


acronyms from the automotive industry

Acronyms from or related to the automotive sector - some amusing, others more interesting from a social and cultural perspective. It's interesting that nearly all are negative - cars for many people are an easy target of envy, frustration and ironic humour. A few of these acronyms ('backronyms' or 'bacronyms' more correctly) are potentially offensive on the basis of race and or taste, so if you are easily offended don't read them. In addition to providing some interesting examples of attitudes, humour and the adaptability of language, these barbed interpretations also serve to show that cars can give rise to strong feelings and bias. This is not an exhaustive list and attempts only to include the more creative, interesting and amusing examples. No offence is intended:

AMC

Almost Made a Car/Ain't My Car.

ASTON MARTIN

Another Strut To Overhaul Nightly - Many Apparent Repairs To Internal Nubs (nubs are wheel bushes).

BENTLEY

Beautiful Engine, Needs To Last Endless Years.

BMW

Break My Windows/Built by Migrant Workers/Big-up My Willy/Bought Mainly by Wankers/Black Man's Wheels/Black Man's Willy/Bring Money in Wheelbarrows/Blew My Wad/Built from Mercedes Wastebasket/Barely Moving and Working/Bersten Mal Wieder (German: 'bust again')/Bei Mercedes Weggeworfen (German: 'made from the parts Mercedes threw away')/Bayerischer MistWagen (German: Bavarian Manure Wagon)/Bayerischer MistWerke (German: Bavarian Manure Works)/Bak Met Wielen (Dutch: 'box with wheels')

BSA

Best Scrap Available/Bloody Sore Arse/Bloody Sore Ass.

BUICK

Barfed Up Icky Carmel Korn. (Carmel Korn is a USA snack-stand brand specializing in caramel coated popcorn - thanks Crystal).

CHEVROLET

Clatters Heavily, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time/Cheap Heap Every Valve Rattles Or Leaks Every Time/Can Hear Every Valve Rattling On Long Extended Trips

DODGE

Damned Old Dirty Gas Eater/Dead On Day Guarantee Expires/Dies On Day Guarantee Expires/Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere/Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere.

FIAT

Found In A Tip/Failure In Automotive Technology/Fix It Again Tony/Fix It Again Tomorrow/Futile (or Feeble) Italian Attempt at Transportation/Fehler In Allen Teilen (German: 'faulty in all parts')/Fur Italiener Achreichende Technologie (German: 'for Italians adequate technology')/Fui Idiota Agora e Tarde (Portuguese: 'I've been stupid now it's too late')

FORD

Found On Roadside, Dead/Found On Rubbish Dump/Fix Or Repair Daily/Fast Only Rolling Downhill/Fix Or Replace Daily/Flip Over, Read Directions/First On Race Day/Full Of Rust and Decay/For Outstanding Reliability and Dependability//Frickin' Oakies Really Dig'em/Frequent Off-Road Disasters/Familjen Olssons Rullande Dass (Swedish: 'Family Olssen's Rolling Toilet').

GM

Grinding Metal/Generally Mediocre.

GMC

Garbage Made Carefully/Garage Man's Companion/General Mess of Crap/Gotta Mechanic Coming/Good Mexican Car/Garage Man's Companion.

GTI

God The Insurance.

HOLDEN

Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now.

HONDA

Hold On Not Done Accelerating/Have One, Never Do it Again/Had One, Never Did Again.

HUMMER

Huge Unnecessary Massive Mobile, Emmissions Ridiculous.

JAGUAR

Just A Gauge Under Another Repair.

JEEP

Just Enough Essential Parts/Just Enough Engine Power/Junk; Each and Every Part/Just Empty Every Pocket.

KIA

Killed In Action/Killed in Automobile.

LADA

Left At Dump Abandoned/Laissee Au Depotoir Abandonee (French: Left At Dump Abandoned)/Langs Achter Duwen Alstublieft (Dutch: 'please push from behind')

LOTUS

Loads Of Trouble, Usually Serious/Leaking Oil To Under Side.

LUCAS

Leaves Us Cold And Stranded. (Lucus manufacture automotive parts.)

MAZDA

Made At Zoo by Demented Apes.

MITSUBISHI

Made In Taiwan, Subcontracted Up to the British Isles, Shipped Here Incomplete.

MOPAR

Move Over, Plymouth Approaching Rapidly/Mostly Old Parts And Rust/My Old Plymouth (or Pig) Ain't Running/Motor On Pavement After Race/Massively Over-Powered, Always Reliable/Many Old Parts Assembled Recklessly. (MOPAR is the parts and service subsidiary of the Chrysler motor coporation, famous for its durable Plymouth cars. The name MOPAR is an abbreviated portmanteau word formed from the words 'Motor Parts'.)

MG

Mostly Garaged/Money Gone/Mighty Good.

MGB GT

Musical Gear Box Grinds Teeth.

OLDSMOBILE

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Increasingly Late Everyday.

PINTO

Powerful Incendiary, Neatly Toasts Occupants/Put In New Transmission Often.

PEUGEOT

Poxy Engine, Useless Gearbox, Every One Trouble.

PONTIAC

Poor Old Numpty/Numnut/Nucker/Nudnik Thinks It's A Cadillac. (A common alternative version for the N-word is too offensive even for this website, sorry - thanks to the many who have suggested it, in the interests of language study and curiosity of course.)

PORSCHE

Proof Only Rich Shits Can Have Everything.

SAAB

Something's Always About to Break.

SUBARU

Still Usable But All Rusted Underneath.

TOYOTA

The One You Ought To Avoid/Too Often Yankees (or Yanks) Overprice This Auto/Taking Our Yen Out Thanks America.


(Thanks to: D Compton, AJ, S Clory, D Hawksworth, S Skariah, T Day, S Cadd, S Rivera, J Hemmingway, T Cole, D Burton, C Purdom, G Day, W Buckley, J Quirk, Ed P, J Fobian, G Tolentino, S Harvey, P Bruton, C Buckneberg, B Speck, M Alexander, J Heeley, M Flatla, and special acknowledgement to E Harvey for the SAAB invention.)

If you have other automotive or car acronyms please send them.


airlines and aviation acronyms

As with the other acronyms on this website this listing illustrates the amusing development of coded langauge and communications and is not meant to cause offence, neither is it to be seen as a comment on service levels or the qualities of the doubtless fine organisations featured in the list, even though some no longer exist. A few of these acronyms ('backronyms' or 'bacronyms' more correctly) are potentially offensive so if you are easily offended don't read them. This is not an exhaustive list and attempts only to include the more creative, interesting or amusing examples. No offence is intended:

AIR INDIA

After I Return I'll Never Do It Again.

ALITALIA

Airplane Lands In Turin And Luggage In Ancona/Airplane Lands In Tokyo And Luggage In Atlanta (etc, etc.)/Always Late In Take-off, Always Late In Arrival/A Little Italian Tradition And Lotsa Italian Attitude.

AWA

America's Worst Airline.

BEA

Britian's Excuse for an Airline.

BOAC

Boys Overseas After Crumpet/Better Off On A Camel/Better On Air Canada/Boeing Only Aircraft Considered.

BWIA

But Will It Arrive?/Better Walk If Able/Britain's Worst Investment Abroad.

DELTA

Divert Everyone's Luggage To Atlanta/Don't Expect Luggage To Arrive/Doesn't Ever Leave The Airport/Didn't Expect To Land There Anyway/Delivering Everyone Late Through Atlanta/Don't Expect to Leave the Terminal Alive.

EASYJET

Economy Airline Slows Your Journey Every Time.

EL AL

Every Landing Always Late.

GARUDA

Good And Reliable Under Dutch Authority/Government Airway Ruined Under Dutch Administration.

KLM

Keeps Losing Money.

LBIAC

Left Brains In Airport Carpark. (Not an airline but an amusing acronym used by airport staff referring to daft customers)

LIAT

Luggage In Another Terminal.

LOT

Lot Of Troubles.

LUFTHANSA

Let Us Find The Hostess As No Steward Available/Let Us Free The Hostages And Not Shoot Anyone/Let Us Feel The Hostesses And Not Say Anything.

OLYMPIC

Onassis Likes Your Money Paid In Cash.

PAL

Plane Always Late.

PIA

Prayers In the Air.

QANTAS

Queers And Nancies Trained As Stewards/Quench A Nagging Thirst And Sleep/Quite A Nice Trip All Survived. (Originally Queensland And Northern Territory Air Service).

SAHSA

Stay At Home Stay Alive.

SABENA

Such A Bad Experience, Never Again.

SAS

Same As Sabena/Sex And Satisfaction/Scandinavian Alcoholic System (referring to travel to Poland for its cheap vodka)

SOSA

Stay Off Stay Alive.

SWISSAIR

Sexy Women In Swissair Services Are Indeed Rare. Not true of course, but then none of this stuff is..

TACA

Take A Chance Airlines/Tres Accidentes Cada Ano (Spanish: Three Accidents Counted Annually).

TAP

Take Another Plane/Tamancos Aereos Portugueses (Portuguese: Portuguese Airborne Clogs).

TAP

Take Another Plane.

TWA

Travel With Anxiety/Thousands Wandering Aimlessly/Terrorists Welcome Aboard/The Worst Airline/Try Walking Across/Teeny Weeny Airlines/Third World Airlines.

UTA

Unlikely To Arrive.

VASP

Vomite Aqui Seu Porco (Portuguese: Throw Up Here You Pig - a reference to the VASP sick-bag logo)/Varias Aeromocas Sao Putas (Portuguese: 'a number of the air stewardesses are loose women') Again not true of course, like the rest of this silliness..

WIA

Whenever It Arrives.


(Acknowledgements to: M Duncan, M Navaroli, JW, Chin, D Sidwell, D Rawsthorn, M Janes, E Davies, A Wilkinson, G Sargent, T Clarke, L Martin, Glenn Hooper, D Wilson, G Cartledge, B Poulter, E Stenning, L Van Helden, P Messervy, S Fraser.)

If you have other notable airlines and aviation acronyms please send them.


corporation backronyms (reverse acronyms from corporation names - 'corporanyms')

Due to the increasing interest, potential and learning value (social, language, public image, staff attitudes, etc) contained in the creation and use of amusing corporation 'backronyms' (or 'corporanyms' to coin a daft new portmanteau word), this section for the corporation backronym genre has been added. New contributions and suggestions gratefully received. These meanings are not true statements of fact. They are a bit of fun and no offence is intended. But if the cap fits any particular CEO's out there... Please note that Airlines and Automotive acronyms ('backronyms' are listed separately).

ADIDAS

After Dinner I Did A Shit. There seems no earthly reason for this to be funny, but strangely to many, including me, it is. Reducing one of the foremost consumer brands of our times to such a trite vulgarity is somehow a very amusing juxtaposition (Ack JR). Other variations include (ack P&J) the similarly daft and amusing A Dog Is Dirty And Smells or A Dog Is Dirty And Shits. For procrastintors everywhere (ack N Spargo) there is All Day I Dither And Squirm, and for the health and hygiene-conscious there is the very silly A Durex Is Disposable After Sex (ack J Quirk). All Day I Dream About Sex is perhaps the best known of these weird ADIDAS backronyms (Ack PF). All Day I Dream About Shoes is another wonderful interpretation (thanks S Morissette). Sport, Sleep, and strangely Spouse, are other extensions (thanks S Chapalkar). If you have others to share please send them.

BA

Bugger All. Alternative interpretation of the famous initials allegedly devised by certain British Airways staff in response to the corporation's efforts to reduce salaries during the late noughties recession.

CSC

Collection of Small Companies. Alternative interpretation (apparently used by staff) of the CSC company name, which properly stands for Computer Sciences Corporation. The 'Collection of Small Companies' version reflects CSC's operatianal structure, which splits its activities into several business units. (Thanks J Honeycutt)

DHL

Drop, Hide and Lose/Don't Hurry Lads. Not true of course. DHL's name in fact derives from its founders' surnames' initials, Adrian Dalsey, Larry Hillblom and Robert Lynn, who formed the company in 1969, initially as a service shuttling bills of lading between San Francisco and Honolulu. A bill of lading is incidentally a document detailing what's being shipped and to whom. Lading is from the word 'lade', which is from Old English 'hladan' traceable back to 725AD, and whose roots were very close to the word load. The word lade is preserved in the modern word laden, meaning loaded with. It's interesting that the company name features three key letters of the ancient English word so closely related to their trade. The pioneering DHL delivery company grew from their modest beginnings into a global organization with reputation to match, becoming along the way (they say) the first to bring air express to the Eastern Bloc countries in 1983 and to the People's Republic of China in 1986. (Thanks M Gregory for Drop, Hide and Lose, and C Armer for Don't Hurry Lads.)

DIAGEO

Don't Imagine Any Great Employment Opportunities. Not true of course. This 'backronym' (or 'bacronym' - meaning an acronym that is constructed in reverse from a word, rather using initials from a phrase or series of words) does however illustrate the risks of corporate rebranding with a name that invites such creative and mischievous interpretation. Diageo's previous name was Guinness & Grand Metropolitan. The merger of the two organisations hastened the name-change, along perhaps with the fact that the Guinness name had become associated with a major fraud case in the late 1980s following its acquisition of United Distillers in 1986. In any event Guinness & Grand Metropolitan would have offered relatively little scope for constructing a sardonic 'backronym' than Diageo. Incidentally Diageo is apparently Hindi for 'give and live for ever'. Another interpretation is the Latin/Greek combination of dia (day) and geo (earth) equating to the notion that '...every day, everywhere people celebrate our brands'. Alternatively dia could be interpreted as the Greek for 'across', as in 'across the world'. If you know the facts of this matter please tell me. (Thanks JV)

ENGLAND

Every New Guy Lasts About Ninety Days. Not the country England - the US trucking company CR England, as explained by the contributor: "...in the trucking industry in the United States there is a company called CR England. (yes, on the web at CREngland.com). My father drove for United Van Lines for many years and other large transport services before that. The 'old hand' drivers had a bit of a joke on the England name (due to the fact that an England truck invariably came up in stories about trucks in ditches or nasty but stupid looking accidents involving stationary objects)...ergo... Every New Guy Lasts About Ninety Days. (Ack S Holden)

ETAM

Everything To Attract Men. Not, as commonly believed, the actual origin of the famous womenswear chain, which is explained in the main ETAM entry above.


GWR

Goes When Ready. Kindly and reverential 'bacronym' popular in the days of the original Great Western Railway, illustrating that the tradition of re-interpreting amusing meanings from company names and initials has been around for at least a half a century. GWR is transferable to other situations, explained in the GWR main listing. The Great Western Railway Company was founded in 1835 initially for the construction of the London to Bristol railway, overseen by the genius Isambard Kingdom Brunel (starting at the ripe old age of 27), including the wonderous Clifton Suspension Bridge completed in 1864 after 30 years' construction and seven years after Brunel's death in 1859. The Great Western Railway Company ceased to operate in 1948 as part of the nationalisation of the British railways in that year. The original Great Wewstern Railway is not to be confused with the more recent re-privatised and much re-named, merged and otherwise convoluted 'First Great Western' company, or 'Worst Late Western' as it is not so fondly referred to by its reluctant victims. The comparison between the playful old 'Goes When Ready' bacronym (actually no bad thing considering modern concerns about safety), and the understandably venomous criticisms made of the modern First Great Western imposter reflects how our essential services have been exploited for profit and political expediency, a situation which persists. When will the daft buggers learn? A lesson for all the arrogant and greedy businessmen and politicians who've enjoyed playing with our national infrastructure like it were one big toy train set is highlighted in the superb Worst Late Western entry in Uncyclopedia, (although be careful when you visit this website - it poses a greater risk to work productivity than Myspace, Facebook and Bebo put together..)


HARTL

Hardly At Running Temperature Long. An acronym that's now become a term used generally by certain UK service engineers to describe a machine with consistent problems, break-downs, faults etc., ("Is it a Hartl..."). The origin is apparently from a company called Hartl Crushtek, founded in Austria, which used to manufacture rock crushing machines, typically used in quarries. The machines allegedly developed a reputation for poor reliability, which led, allegedly, to the development of the HARTL reverse acronym (backronym) by the company's service engineers, (as well as the demise of the Hartl Crushtek UK operating subsidiary). (Ack Mark Sandercock)


HESTIA

Holds Every Size Tit In Australia. An obscure-looking acronym ('backronym' actually) until it is explained that the Australian Hestia company is a leading bra maker. Part of the Berlei group, Hestia's own publicity says the company caters for 'every size in Australia', which (whether intentionally or not) effectively provides most of the backronym interpretation. Filling in the missing two words was obviously irresistible to someone. The Hestia website is actually a fascinating example of several aspects of modern marketing, not least the use of irony and humour. Hestia's intriguing advertising campaign (2005-07) is fronted by Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan (example of brand endorsement by a celebrity - 'aspirational marketing'), who in launching the campaign reinforces the Hestia positioning thus, "This campaign is all about support at work! No matter whether you're behind a desk, BBQing, you're hoovering (aka vacuuming) [sic - the translation of hoovering into vacuuming is actually in the quote] or doing a bit of laundry. It's all about feeling good, and you feel great when you are wearing a Hestia.." (example of market positioning and ironic - we assume ironic - use of the 'women at work' theme). The Hestia website also enables the visitor to see the TV advert featuring Ms Sheridan and some behind-the-scenes footage of the photo-shoot (use of internet technology and likely viral marketing techniques - 'titillation' marketing - titillation is actually from Latin, in case you were wondering, and nothing to do with breasts). The Hestia name was chosen by founders Edward and Serena Herson in 1940 because their first choice name Vesta was already registered (example of importance of branding and registration of trademarks). Incidentally both Vesta and Hestia are derived from Roman/Greek mythology: Hestia is the Ancient Greek goddess of the hearth and home. Vesta is the Roman goddess of the hearth, which in Roman mythology also related to the alter and fire, (hence also Swan Vesta matches - there are many other examples of the use of mythological names for branding - see some on the puzzles questions page or the answers page). The explanation of these names on the Hestia website could be improved: it refers to 'methology' rather than mythology and says both goddesses are Greek whereas one is Roman (example of the need for sound research and checking copy writing). See it all (apart from the backronym of course) at www.hestia.com.au. (Thanks J Nieman for the Hestia backronym)



HOLDEN

Heaps Of Little Dirty Engine Nuts. According to Australian 'backyard' car-maintenance tradition, this acronym is a reference to the parts usually left over after repairing the engine of a Holden car. Aussie 'backyard' mechanics apparently assert that if the nuts are left over, then you didn't need them in the first place... (Ack J Gullefer)


IBM

I'm in Blue Material. A 1970s reference to the standard IBM executive's business suit), and I've Been to Manchester (referring to the supposed reluctance of IBM's American executives to travel into bandit country, i.e. more than three miles from central London (ack B Cavalot). Alternatively and amusingly I've Been Moved (ack P Larson). Less imaginatively, It's Better Manually, or It's Been Malfunctioning, and the gratuitously offensive Spanish Immensa Bola de Mierda (huge ball of pooh), which might of course have nothing to do with IBM corporation at all. Additionally (ack S Pusey), It's Being Mended, and Infernal Blooming Machine; neither of which necessarily relate to IBM per se of course. Other non-IBM-corporate interpretations are listed under IBM in the main acronyms listing above.


YAHOO

You Always Have Other Options. This alternative bacronym, nothing to do with the website, is actually a wonderful maxim for life. Incidentally Yahoo founders Yang and Filo maintain they only chose the YA (Yet Another) part of the acronym, and then opted for the word Yahoo when it leapt out of the dictionary at them. Other interpretations include: Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle, (which sometimes is attributed wrongly to Yang and Filo, but which was devised afterwards by persons unknown). Also: Yet Another Helpful Operation Origin and Yet Another Hypertext Online Organiser.